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I am 32 (turning 33 in March) and I have never had a boyfriend. For whatever reason men are just not interested in me or let alone wish to date me to get to know me better. I have been on several blind dates and the guys were just not interested.
Frankly, I feel like I should have been married with a loving husband and children by this point in my life. I already have a great career, own two houses, independent, clean, well-educated, dresses well so I don't see why men just aren't interested. I am starting to think it is because of my race as to why men do not find me physically attractive or wish to get to know me better. My race has our fair share of ridiculous stereotypes about being lazy and always on welfare but as you can tell I do not fit such stereotypes.
I go to clubs, bars, lounges, parties and still no luck. Not even one guy has offered to dance with me. And when I ask they either laugh or reject my offer politely.
So my question to men is what makes a woman attractive in your eyes? Is it how she talks, dresses, looks, etc? Men only please.
There are only 2 reasons for your current situation:
1. You are very unattractive (obese, ugly face, small boobs)
2. Your standards are too high
The m4w ads on CL outnumber the w4m ads by a factor of at least 3:1. What did you even do during your 20s?
I'll give you a step-by-step guide of fixing either problem.
If it's #1:
1. get a personal trainer
2. work-out and reduce weight
3. get a boob job if needed
4. face is not important if body and boobs are good
If it's #2:
1. just lower your standards
Also, sometimes saying you don't like a women because she's "too successful" is the male version of "I'm not interested in a relationship". Why do guys like actresses? Aren't they super successful?
I will say this. If the OP thinks that weight is a factor and she wishes to lose some, she should only lose the weight because SHE wants to. Not because some knucklehead wants her to.
Exactly! Any man who dates a woman because she has a thin, hourglass figure is a jerk.
Alyson i think you should change your hair style And you can lose some weight you have big potential for having an attractive look
I'll second that. I think your hair, Alyson, looks ethnic, which is not necessarily a good thing if you intend to date guys outside of your race.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
Why would she need to lose weight? You wouldn't give that advice to a man, would you? She has a great career and her own home! She's clearly driven and accomplished. What more do you expect???
The problem is she's NOT a man and that's expected from a man! In other words, it doesn't add much to the value of a woman. Men are happy to date any cute and young HS drop-out flipping burgers.
Are you black? I didn't read the posts in-between. There was another black girl who posted a picture of herself asking how she looked to guys. I got flamed because I said she wasn't good-looking.
Anyway, when I was single I got a lot of guys, so I guess I'm attractive. I'm a woman, but I'm going to give you advice anyway. I'm still a little bitter about being flamed, LOL and that girl probably is still clueless. In her case she thought she was attractive because she had longer hair and lighter skin...but I though she looked unattractive because her face was covered (co ver ed) in hair!
I know a couple of guys like that, but most guys don't. So in addition to whatever other advice you have been given, make hair removal a priority. Esp if you have a visible mustache or really thick sideburns. Removing other superfluous hair is also important.
Also, guys these days appear to like thin women. So if you're overweight and you're on a mission to catch a dude then lose those extra pounds. Men are superficial. You also need to dress a little sexily. Sorry, but that's how they are. Are you sure you want one?
Personally, I think marriage is not all it's cracked up to be, but to each his own.
BTW, how much do you make? Over 100K, over 200K? DO NOT tell the guy. I dated a teacher once, and I was talking about a new job and the salary I was asking and how it wasn't enough for me to do the long commute etc. I was stupid and clueless and insensitive. I wouldn't do that now. Anyway, when he heard the number, his face just changed.
Sometimes getting what you want requires sacrifice. You can't just sit back and say "I don't like dating sites" and "I like my current size". Those are okay but they do conflict with getting a man.
We can't help you if you aren't willing to change.
I like being lazy and playing video games all day. That's what I like to do, but should I expect to get laid based on that? Do you know how much men have to change to get laid?
I'm going to be a bit harsh but 100% honest. You don't look very sexy in the picture you just posted. That's a good look for someone's who's already married. But that's not the look you want to use to attract men.
Sometimes getting what you want requires sacrifice. You can't just sit back and say "I don't like dating sites" and "I like my current size". Those are okay but they do conflict with getting a man.
We can't help you if you aren't willing to change.
I like being lazy and playing video games all day. That's what I like to do, but should I expect to get laid based on that? Do you know how much men have to change to get laid?
Change? It's easy being a man. You can hook up with all the women you want without being judged for it.
You can hook up with all the women you want without being judged for it.
Not really... Only if you're attractive and/or smart.
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And you can lose some weight 
Why would she need to lose weight? You wouldn't give that advice to a man, would you? She has a great career and her own home! She's clearly driven and accomplished. What more do you expect???
I'm nominating this as the post of the year!
