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I always think that it is funny, and you will see it portrayed on TV and in movies, a dad will high five his son for getting with some hot chick, but will go after any guy that tries to get near his little princess.
To his own son: "Way to go son. I can see you are just like me when I was your age."
To his daughters Boy friend: "That is my little girl, my princess, the one thing that keeps me going, and I have no problem going to jail, again, if anything should ever happen to her."
A lot of stupid and unrealistic things happen in movies and on TV. That kind of double-standard among siblings can cause a lot of dysfunction when the kids grow up.
I remember this comment from youth my mom said about what guys do: "Choose em & use em" pertaining to what happens to girls. I rolled my eyes and said I guess I have to fight fire with fire. Dad cracked up.
I don't think we ever got the double standard in dating from my father. He just wanted us to find someone who was decent looking and made an ok living. After breakups he would always joke with us about the negative aspects of the ex. Mother on the other hand acted like every break up was some great tragedy.
I never really "dated around" and always had opposite gender friends or serious relationships and my brother was the same way.
Some earlier posters have cited this before in previous threads, but I'm going to try to put it in terms of a broader context, of why exactly this apparent opposite-gender attraction paradox exists, between males and females, b/c it genuinely has me stumped in terms of the basic logic
1. A lot of mothers tell their sons to "be nice" to girls, treat them respectfully, be gentlemantly, etc. -- and yet, before the mothers actually became mothers, they themselves would tend to be attracted to the stereotypical "bad boy", who exhibits almost none of the above qualities. So why do they want their sons to be kind, nice, respectful, etc., when they probably wanted anything but that, in their own love interests, perhaps even including their son's own father?
2. Many fathers who have daughters, genuinely love and care for them, and wish the very best in terms of their daughter's future romantic prospects (i.e., for them to have an honorable, decent, caring and successful guy). At the same time, *a lot* of fathers may want their "little girl" to stay innocent and virginal, for as long as absolutely possible, if not until marriage. What I don't get here, is that this is almost the exact opposite of what they themselves (the fathers) were likely doing, as young men -- when they would physically jump on any gal that said "yes" to them, up to and likely including their daughter's own mother. So while the fathers were allowed to "sow their wild oats", so to speak, they want to deny that same opportunity, to their daughter? I don't get it.
Why the double-speak here, on behalf of both genders?? I don't get it...it honestly seems really illogical, and even hypocritical, in a way...
It's not double speak. It's called learning from your mistakes. Unfortunately, our kids are very likely to make the same mistakes we did but, on the off chance that we can prevent a daughter from hooking up with the bad boy who will rip her heart out or from having sex too early and being used and discarded by some jerk, we keep trying. Yes, we want our sons to not be that jerk and we want our daugthers to avoid that jerk but it's not a double standard. It's because we remember the pain caused by said jerk when we were young.
This is no more double speak than a parent who dropped out of high school, who now regrets doing so, telling their child to stay in school!
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 02-19-2011 at 11:06 AM..
I always think that it is funny, and you will see it portrayed on TV and in movies, a dad will high five his son for getting with some hot chick, but will go after any guy that tries to get near his little princess.
To his own son: "Way to go son. I can see you are just like me when I was your age."
To his daughters Boy friend: "That is my little girl, my princess, the one thing that keeps me going, and I have no problem going to jail, again, if anything should ever happen to her."
I think this is an example of "someone else"
The dad doesn't care if his son uses a girl for sex, because the girl is "someone else's daughter" and "that's someone else's problem."
A lot of people don't care about stuff that doesn't affect them, so they don't care about what happens to someone else.
But I think that type of double standard is foolish. And the double standard is not just restricted to movies/television. Happens in real life too.
As one of my high school teachers said: we're all someone else
I agree that's a good example. But if the kid wants to drop out, the parent is in no position to complain.
Oh yes they are. When you know first hand how tough life can be because of a decision you made, you're in prime position to speak to someeone wanting to do the same thing.
Do you think that because I smoked when I was a teenager I have no right to tell my kids they shouldn't? I tell them how hard it is to quit and how much it costs and how it affects your health. I know, first hand, why you shouldn't smoke. Someone who dropped out of school knows first hand why you should stay in school.
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