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Which is an idiotic thing to do anyway as it defeats the purpose of the first "chivalry"! The original idea was to make the woman comfortable. The gesture was never meant to make her uncomfortable right after that stretching all the way to the other door, wrinkling her clothes, getting caught on car parts, etc. With the automatic locks these days it makes zero sense for all practical purposes no matter how you slice it from a feminist or misogynistic standpoint!
With the advent of keyless remotes, I'm afraid our chance for redemption is dwindling anyway. I can't remember the last time I unlocked a car door with a key.
With the advent of keyless remotes, I'm afraid our chance for redemption is dwindling anyway. I can't remember the last time I unlocked a car door with a key.
Yeah, your poor hubby. There he is, slaving away on your behalf, and you won't even pull your own weight by hitting the UNLOCK button. tsk tsk.
Yeah, your poor hubby. There he is, slaving away on your behalf, and you won't even pull your own weight by hitting the UNLOCK button. tsk tsk.
I refuse to do so until he buys me an engraved sterling silver button pusher from Tiffany. I chipped my manicure one time and am not going back to that heartache.
You haven’t answered. Maybe you didn't understand the question or there is no such feeling for women. Is there anything out there where a woman feels the equivalent of a man who feels emasculated when it comes to dating? There’s not even an expression for it because there is no such thing but I wonder.
Well sure there is. Women that for whatever reason, always get sex jokes told behind her back by the "guys", women that get ditched at the party by their dates as he found the easy chick he was looking for, women that unknowingly consume a drugged drink and get date-raped afterwards, women that have to fight off a drunk date all by themselves (oh yeah that one is a LOT of fun ) and all these women wonder end up wondering what THEY did to bring it on.
Yeah...I think there is plenty that women deal with...regularly, that men never have to even think about. If you have no desire to be a gentleman and show a gal that you do consider her a "lady", then fine...move on. Most men are in fact gentlemen, in my experience. I don't expect a shortage of them anytime soon.
With the advent of keyless remotes, I'm afraid our chance for redemption is dwindling anyway. I can't remember the last time I unlocked a car door with a key.
I do every time I have to move my son's car - only one key is a remote!
Should is an interesting word to use, personally if I go out on a date with a woman I will offer to pay the first date, after that if by the 3rd date or so she decides that I should be paying every date I usually stop dating the woman. I am more interested in a relationship in which we are both equal partners in the relationship, to me that means we either split the bill based on what we ate, split the bill down the middle, or alternate who pays for the date. If I end up paying disproportionately more, or even disproportionately less I tend to lose interest.
I know a lot of men want to be in charge and make all the decisions, and pay for everything, and a lot of women seem to want they guy to do that, but that kind of relationship is not for me.
Usually, it's the man doing the asking, so he should pay.
But if he is the one asked out, then technically the woman should pay.... however, if the man in question likes the woman a lot and wants the dating to continue and is hoping for a romance relationship with this woman, then I think that it would be smart of him to pay, and do it by sneaking his CC to the server.
Otherwise, as the dating continues and both parties are into each other, I'd then suggest them taking turns paying the whole check. Doing a 50/50 split is not very romantic and best in situations with platonic friends.
I totally agree except with sneaking the credit card. What's the point of picking up the tab if its going to be a secret? Let her see you whip out that credit card.
Yeah, your poor hubby. There he is, slaving away on your behalf, and you won't even pull your own weight by hitting the UNLOCK button. tsk tsk.
Yet, you girls love it when guys do these things and more. I was not so far off when I said women don’t reciprocate.
You haven’t answered my question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I refuse to do so until he buys me an engraved sterling silver button pusher from Tiffany. I chipped my manicure one time and am not going back to that heartache.
Men will buy you those things, sarcasm or not. One of the many perks you get to enjoy just for being a woman. Plus you don’t need to reciprocate anything as men feel emasculated. As a woman, you can complain if no man reciprocates but the other way around, not quite. More power to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Well sure there is. Women that for whatever reason, always get sex jokes told behind her back by the "guys", women that get ditched at the party by their dates as he found the easy chick he was looking for, women that unknowingly consume a drugged drink and get date-raped afterwards, women that have to fight off a drunk date all by themselves (oh yeah that one is a LOT of fun ) and all these women wonder end up wondering what THEY did to bring it on
You are not answering the question. You are mentioning things that can happen to ANYBODY. Men are seen as women’s ATM, freebie ticket, and so on. I am talking about any gesture out there that makes you feel the equivalent of a guy who feels emasculated when it comes to dating.
I somehow imagined it would be hard for women to answer this question. You know how men would feel less-of-a man if they don’t pay for your things and many wouldn’t even see a 2nd date if they don’t comply with that western dating rule. If a man is sitting down and a woman standing up, many would feel emasculated if people see that scene and rather give their seat. And all these and many other things that make men feel emasculated benefit you. Obvious reason why women don’t want to do anything about it or even dare themselves to reciprocate. Now, is there anything out there that would make a woman feel that same thing equivalent of a guy who feels emasculated? Something that if you don't do for your guy, you feel less of a woman. Something expected from you as a woman but NOT FROM HIM. I am not talking about bad things that someone can do to you because bad things can be done to men too, believe it or not.
So what is it? Do you understand the question? It's not "Well, if feel less of a woman if I am not nice to him" come on, that is expected from men too.
Quote:
Most men are in fact gentlemen, in my experience. I don't expect a shortage of them anytime soon.
Most women I go out with reciprocate. Doesn’t make them better or worse, its just a cultural difference and I like it just the same way you like men to do it all for you and not reciprocate. To each, their own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cardinal2007
I know a lot of men want to be in charge and make all the decisions, and pay for everything, and a lot of women seem to want they guy to do that, but that kind of relationship is not for me.
But we can’t forget about the so called period of “initial stages” that men have to go through.
You have been painting men as complete victims throughout this entire thread, as if they have no choice or say in the matter. Moderator cut: Rude.
I have seen plenty of posts by those who believe that the person who invites pays, yet you insist we "expect/demand" that the man pay. So we are all lying......and you're not bitter.
As to culture, there are many people from all walks of life who believe a woman's energy is best spent providing at home and raising the children....all while the man makes ALL the money and spends it providing for the family unit. Do these women have their men by the junk? No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
When we are in my BF's little truck (the big one has remote locks) I reach over and unlock my guy's door EVERY SINGLE TIME I get in. He unlocks the outside, and I get in, and then reach over and unlock it. And I don't think I'm the only gal to do this sort of thing.
I've done the same thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
Every date should be split 50/50 no matter who asks. Expecting a man to pay is disgusting in my opinion. It sets a woman up for the expectation she'll put out for the cost of a meal.
Thanks to the endless nickle and diming by the likes of some of the people on this thread, there are plenty of women who think this way. It's sad. These women actually contribute to this mentality. They're basically agreeing that this is the way it is. Teach them a lesson, I say. Let them pay, don't put out and discourage them from dating at all. Do the world a favor.
What is missing here is the gentleman factor. Some of us know the difference between a man with plumbing and a gentleman. And there are plenty of men who are smart enough to know when they are being taken advantage of. A gentleman wouldn't even bring this nonsense up. It wouldn't even be an issue. Newsflash.....he may even enjoy providing a wonderful evening at his expense. Oh, the horror!
When I first started dating my guy, he paid. I offered to after a couple of dates, he wouldn't hear of it. He still refuses to allow me to pay, well over a year later. He is no victim. He knows how much I appreciate him because I show it, in numerous ways. Sometimes it costs me money, other times it doesn't. We do what we can and would never expect the other to overextend.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-02-2011 at 09:23 AM..
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The original idea was to make the woman comfortable. The gesture was never meant to make her uncomfortable right after that stretching all the way to the other door, wrinkling her clothes, getting caught on car parts, etc. With the automatic locks these days it makes zero sense for all practical purposes no matter how you slice it from a feminist or misogynistic standpoint!
) and all these women wonder end up wondering what THEY did to bring it on. 
