Should guys always pick up the tab on a date? (men, love)

[Childfree35]

When I pay for the date -- I'm expecting him to put out.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by miu

It seems to me that a lot of guys rush to ask a woman out and without doing enough foundation work beforehand

And some women also rush into accepting. They get to be wined/dined, entertained, etc. and if they didn’t like it, they stop seeing the guy. Nothing to lose really.

They see a pretty woman and if she is single, they immediately try to hit on her using as much charm as they can. And the first thing they do is announce their sexual interests by trying to buy her a drink or if they aren't in a bar or club, they ask her out on a date

I agree and that is bad. Then you also have the women who play all charming to the guy, giggly, etc. just to score the freebies in that bar and then just leave him standing there and look for another sap who will spend money on her. There are bad men AND women out there, not just men.

Instead, they should slow the process down and find out about her as a person and her interests with casual conversation

That’s right. Also, women should slow down when it comes to sex. A bad woman can see a man with lots of money, cool car, etc. and throw himself at him. He’ll have sex with her and forget her, then you’ll have her crying and feeling dirty, used, etc. Women should slow down too. Leave it to a prostitute to convincing a man through sex. A lady shouldn’t rely on that.

Anyway, once you've been able to talk to a prospective date and you've found out that you have much in common and your personalities are a good match, then proceed to that first date

Wells aid.

I have no interest in having dinner with a complete stranger, no matter how handsome he is. And if he really likes me, then he will be willing to try to get to know me better slowly before that first real date. BTW I don't count catching a cup of coffee together as a real date

Call it whatever you want. Getting to know that person is what should matter, right? Why label activities really? I don’t see how my time to know her and her time to know me would change if the activity was called a date, a get-together, fun time, or whatever.

I remember talking to a friend and the topic of a new movie came out. I told her I was going to check it out that evening and she told me she wanted to go too. She asked if she could come with me and I said sure. Then she goes “…oh, but wait…is this, like, a date or what?”
. It’s just us going to see a movie, really, sheesh.

No. No amount of free meals and drinks is worth stringing a guy along and then dealing with getting rid of him when he thinks we're heading towards kiss and coupledom and I have no interest in him romantically or sexually. And free vacations? Those women sound like user sl*ts then. And that's not me or my girlfriends. We weren't raised that way.

Good! Just wanted to show you that, yes, there are terrible men out there but there are as many terrible women out there. We’ll have men and women with good/bad motives.

The only woman I know that might be like you described was my former AA manager who boasted of having three boyfriends at the same time. Disgusting

Sure, it seems bad. But then again, others might consider that to be just fine and he’s just being a gentleman and she’s just being a lady.

I don't have a problem being equal with a man in the workplace, but still enjoying an old fashioned traditional courtship

Both work your way of course. Benefits in the workplace, benefits in the dating game. It’s like me saying I like traditional women but I don’t want to be a traditional man who provides. Can’t have it all. I like me and my girl to be traditional and modern at the same time. Both of us get to be at the receiving end, both of us get to work it.

Eh. I'd love it if my boyfriend would do all of the housework. However, I don't mind doing it. I did it all when I was living by myself. Housework is really no big deal

Do you guys live together?

Hey, I know his tastes in food and drink. I've bought his favorite beer and put it in the fridge as a surprise for him. And if I'm in the area, I'll get his favorite takeout food or make him a steak for dinner. It's definitely a two-way street

Oh, you guys probably do live together. There you go! He takes you out to dinners, opens your door, etc. And you do the house chores and cook, cool.

I don't think that I would enjoy exploring abandoned subway tunnels, but I like checking out older buildings and construction

Yeah, there are some places where I think twice before entering. My last urban exploration was a big abandoned hospital in the country of Nicaragua. My friend took me there as she knows I like that stuff.

Hmm... you keep repeating yourself on this one. I'd say that you might have a resentment that women don't ask you out at all or enough

Nope, its like you saying, for example, that you don’t agree with women in the middle east who wear burkas. Does it mean you wore a burka for many years and have resentment? Nope. It just means you don’t like how things go over there. Well, western rules/traditions for dating are not my cup of tea, that’s all. Heck, I even go out with western girls regardless. But if I had to pick, I rather go out with a different kind of girl.

Maybe you should charm them, never ask them out and wait until they are desperate and they as YOU out instead. So you need to have more patience

I know it may sound shocking or just odd for a woman to do that for a man, reason why you sarcastically say that. But there are cultures around the world where women do more than just showing up to the date. Is it better or worse? Not necessarily, just different. I have my preference, you have yours. Don’t see how this makes someone bad.

[Jefetio]

Originally Posted by smallvillejane

Even if he's being asked out on a date?

it's up to him

[superk]

I'll answer this the same way I answered it when match.com ran the same poll:

The one who initiates the date should pay. And, if a babysitter is needed, then they should also offer to pay for at least half of that expense. I know I would.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by superk

The one who initiates the date should pay. And, if a babysitter is needed, then they should also offer to pay for at least half of that expense. I know I would.

So men are expected to pay for her dinner, wine, drinks, entertainment, etc. and also their babysitter? Doesn’t surprise me really. Oh well, interesting.

[MattB4]

Originally Posted by miu

... Every day, I see opportunities for new friends for my friends around me. I even see opportunities for myself and I'm an old thing with graying hair. lol

Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Hj7bp38f8

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by superk

I'll answer this the same way I answered it when match.com ran the same poll:

The one who initiates the date should pay. And, if a babysitter is needed, then they should also offer to pay for at least half of that expense. I know I would.

I disagree about the babysitter. That's a personal expense, like clothing, pedicures, haircuts, car washes, etc. Part of the cost of preparing yourself for the date.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by onihC

So men are expected to pay for her dinner, wine, drinks, entertainment, etc. and also their babysitter? Doesn’t surprise me really. Oh well, interesting.

I never expected my husband (then boyfriend) to pay for the sitter for my older child but he did.

Like I said earlier, he is a very traditional old-fashioned man.

[Childfree35]

Originally Posted by superk

I'll answer this the same way I answered it when match.com ran the same poll:

The one who initiates the date should pay. And, if a babysitter is needed, then they should also offer to pay for at least half of that expense. I know I would.

This is going to far. I would never help to fund YOUR babysitter. Your kid, so your expense. Take that kid to granny.

I don't have a problem paying and I do. I'll pick him up, if need be.

[stressedCollegeGirl89]

I see it this way: you pay for your part, I'll pay for mine. We both leave tip. If the guy offers to pay the whole thing, let him. if the girl offers to pay the whole thing, let her. I don't expect someone to always pay each and every tab.