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Oh ! Give me a break folks ! she is 17 yrs old and probably sleeping with he BF at her moms house anyway. Her dad has a right to a life also , does she thing he is not allowed to have friends ?. And as to the house being her's ??, It will be her's if the dad happened to die but until then it is his to do as he wishes .
If you married that woman, you also "married" her kids. If you decided to take that approach, SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!
Because of people like you is the reason why this society is the way it is. So, you just sat down and let her be a bad parent?! Like I said, SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!
As I said in my post its not her house so my rules applied. This I know from first hand experience with my own daughter many years ago. You can only have one wife in the home ,although some times a daughter can act like she is you part time wife with all the power of the full time one. Marriage going on 47 yrs and still alive and well , and so is the daughter along with all her own problems , we don't interfer.
There is no wife is this home. There is a father and a daughter. The OP has been dating the dad for FIVE months...hell they haven't even said the "L" word yet. Just my opinion, but you are pushing brick against brick here.
You're very mistaken, Chess. There is a man and a wife he doesn't have sex with.
Well, I completely disagree, Sierra. A 17 year old daughter that apparently has a crappy relationship with her mom, and is living with dad, is definitely going to be feeling some discomfort when some lady starts showing up at night, sending the daughter to her room for privacy. I know exactly how I'd feel in that situation, and advise any parent to be careful here. It would be different if this girl was spending several nights at her mom's house...but that isn't the case here.
BUT....I should add that I don't know the history of the dad and whether or not he has dated much previously. If this is the first fairly serious relationship, then yeah, the daughter is surely going to be feeling some pain here...but if the dad has had several relationships and this is the constant pattern, then dad needs to sit down with daughter and have a chat.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 02-28-2011 at 02:04 PM..
Oh ! Give me a break folks ! she is 17 yrs old and probably sleeping with he BF at her moms house anyway. Her dad has a right to a life also , does she thing he is not allowed to have friends ?. And as to the house being her's ??, It will be her's if the dad happened to die but until then it is his to do as he wishes .
hmmm...and so you've got a close relationship with your own daughter after handling things this way yourself?
Last edited by lovesMountains; 02-28-2011 at 01:52 PM..
We are not even talking about marriage. I WILL NOT marry him until she is grown, if it ever comes up. Simply because my kids are grown and his needs to be as well. We are all about some slow down.
He has been divorced for4 years, me...going on 2.
You sound like a lady with her head screwed on straight
Try to understand, you've raised boys (I have to), but with girls things can be a little trickier when it comes to the possessive way they can feel about their dads.
This thread has taken a life of it's own. i just spoke with "dad." He told me i am over thinking this and that I can stay over anytime I want, that he has never ever seen me disrespect her in any way(cause I never have, nor will I).
He says he works his arse off to pay the bills and doesn't require her to pay anything like some parents do, she won't even keep her room clean(his words).
But, I stood firm and told him that I may stay over, but it will for the most part be when she is gone... he said, "BullISH!" and went on to explain that he feels this is her mother putting this crap in her head, seriously, y'all he told me me the ex was crazy and so has the daughter, however sad that is.
And I might add that I've knew this man since high school, we were just reaqquainted 5 months ago.
Any way, I'm not going to continue to worry or overthink it as he said, He says he will handle it, and I trust he will, but I also told him, my plans to mention it casually to her, he said wait to see how his talk went first...
You sound like a lady with her head screwed on straight
Try to understand, you've raised boys (I have to), but with girls things can be a little trickier when it comes to the possessive way they can feel about their dads.
I am learning that, but, have no interest in raising a girl...i like hanging out, but don't want that drama...and IT IS DRAMA! Ugh! My boys, I haven't had the drama with them in 20 years vs the 5 months I've been around her... I'm and only child, my parents married for 48 years...I know nothing of this mess...you guys have been life savers today!
Well, I completely disagree, Sierra. A 17 year old daughter that apparently has a crappy relationship with her mom, and is living with dad, is definitely going to be feeling some discomfort when some lady starts showing up at night, sending the daughter to her room for privacy. I know exactly how I'd feel in that situation, and advise any parent to be careful here. It would be different if this girl was spending several nights at her mom's house...but that isn't the case here.
I won't argue about this part, but the relationship between a father and his teen daughter is very different than the relationship between a mother and her teen son. You are the queen of your environment and you make all household decisions simply because boys don't care for this type of stuff and don't interfere. In the other case, the daughter is this queen because she's the female figure/substitute wife in that household!
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Just my opinion, but you are pushing brick against brick here.
I'm and only child, my parents married for 48 years...I know nothing of this mess...you guys have been life savers today! 
