Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
honestly, if youre not looking for a 'relationship' and are planning on moving anyways... i would just stick to hanging out with friends.
Yup, this^^. And while I think there is nothing wrong with casually dating in general, I think the right thing to do is to tell these women before the first date occurs that there's no possibility of anything serious. We read posts on here all the time about men who are frustrated when women chat with them and flirt for hours on a dating site and then say they have a boyfriend and are only looking for new friends--it's misleading, and if you aren't really available for a relationship (for whatever reason), it's misleading to go out with a woman without spelling that out upfront. All parties should be as honest as possible, as early as possible in the game, in order avoid wasting each others' time. A woman who wants to casually date too will be happy to date him. A woman who is looking for a boyfriend can politely decline without wasting her time on a mismatch.
If I may ask, what then, is your purpose in dating right now?
He's 20 years old and wants a girl to have sex with. Hanging out with friends isn't the same. He probably doesn't want any random hookups with sketchy women, so by having a girlfriend, he would have a nice girl to date and sleep with for a few months. He'd be using her until he moved away. By telling her ahead of time that he was going to be leaving town, he won't feel guilty for dumping her and breaking her heart. But dating him would be just a waste of time for most women his age. After all, if she wasn't dating him, she'd be free to find a guy that was available to date her indefinitely.
Yup, this^^. And while I think there is nothing wrong with casually dating in general, I think the right thing to do is to tell these women before the first date occurs that there's no possibility of anything serious. We read posts on here all the time about men who are frustrated when women chat with them and flirt for hours on a dating site and then say they have a boyfriend and are only looking for new friends--it's misleading, and if you aren't really available for a relationship (for whatever reason), it's misleading to go out with a woman without spelling that out upfront. All parties should be as honest as possible, as early as possible in the game, in order avoid wasting each others' time. A woman who wants to casually date too will be happy to date him. A woman who is looking for a boyfriend can politely decline without wasting her time on a mismatch.
He's 20 years old and wants a girl to have sex with. Hanging out with friends isn't the same. He probably doesn't want any random hookups with sketchy women, so by having a girlfriend, he would have a nice girl to date and sleep with for a few months. He'd be using her until he moved away. By telling her ahead of time that he was going to be leaving town, he won't feel guilty for dumping her and breaking her heart. But dating him would be just a waste of time for most women his age. After all, if she wasn't dating him, she'd be free to find a guy that was available to date her indefinitely.
I agree, but isn't this how most people date (of any age) when they are not ready for marriage? It's standard operating procedure, from what I've been observing.
I am slowly but surely trying to get back into dating after a long drought (i.e.: very few dates, turning down offers from women that weren't of interest to me, lack of confidence, taking a while to reel from a relationship that hurt me, etc.)
To be clear, I do not want anything serious. I'm a 20-something male living in a large Midwestern city and, given job interviews and opportunities (hopeful), may not even be living here in a few months. (Actually, I'm hoping to leave the area.)
Also, to be clear, I'm not a kind of man wh*re; I don't just talk to women for the pursuit of the skirt. If I'm going to go out with a woman, I have to see some common interest, personality, humor, or any combination of the three present before the date. I certainly am not quick to jump into bed with a woman. I don't go on dates with women just for the sex potential. I've always been this way. Having said that, while dating doesn't necessarily mean sex, if it turns out that sex is involved, then so be it. If the dating doesn't pan out, then if a friendship evolves, then so be it. I'm willing just to let things "run their course."
The other issue is this: I went on a date a few days ago with an attractive woman that I felt I hit it off with. She even kissed me at the end of the date. Here's the thing: she told me that she has children. I don't want kids right now. However, I don't feel like this should necessarily be a deal-breaker since I don't want any serious commitment.
So, back to the question in the title: I feel like I should be very honest about it. She can either take it or leave it, I suppose. Should I just lead into it gradually or subtly? Or, should I not even just touch on it and let things run their course?
Thanks, EclecticEars
What about the friend zone? I think that relationship strategy is underutilized by most men. You could simply claim that you prefer to put women in the friend zone and wait to see what develops.
I wouldn't do it or recommend it buddy, but apparently many gals on here are down with that. Have fun ta-ta!
I don't know, I think a few men feel the need to pretend they are looking for a wife just to get some action but I have plenty of female friends who are into casual dating and sex with pretty much random hotties. I'm a strictly relationships girl, but being up front is smart and saves you from future drama.
Agree. However, most women, even when starting off in a casual relationship, end up getting emotionally attached to the guy and wanting something more serious. This is a common problem with FWB relationships. And if the 20 year old O.P. dates another 20 year old, most likely that young woman will get attached to him. I see this all the time amongst my young friends and co-workers. When they are young, they still hope for their Prince Charming. Later on, they get more cynical about the men they date.
Specially after sex.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
