Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have been known to be very shy person. To the point where it has affected my social life and I always have social anxiety(and don't have meds for them ever). Anyway, I was approached by a guy at school(in college). This guy doesn't have the same classes as me. He was asking for my help with something in the library. Anyway, we started talking a little, but then he asked for my phone number and the social anxiety came back. So I said I was dealing with a lot of other stuff and am always busy(which is 100% true) and told him it wasn't a good time(which is kind of true). Did I mess up what could have been a good thing? Was I being too shy? Or did I do the right thing and fend off a possible player?
I have been known to be very shy person. To the point where it has affected my social life and I always have social anxiety(and don't have meds for them ever). Anyway, I was approached by a guy at school(in college). This guy doesn't have the same classes as me. He was asking for my help with something in the library. Anyway, we started talking a little, but then he asked for my phone number and the social anxiety came back. So I said I was dealing with a lot of other stuff and am always busy(which is 100% true) and told him it wasn't a good time(which is kind of true). Did I mess up what could have been a good thing? Was I being too shy? Or did I do the right thing and fend off a possible player?
Well you fended off what could have possibly helped your social life. You didn't even know the guy. Why not talk to him on the phone if he seemed attractive?
Well that's the thing. I didn't know him and he seemed like a new student having trouble with the computers. Like I said, I'm a really shy person and was also afraid that not all was as it seems.
I have been known to be very shy person. To the point where it has affected my social life and I always have social anxiety(and don't have meds for them ever). Anyway, I was approached by a guy at school(in college). This guy doesn't have the same classes as me. He was asking for my help with something in the library. Anyway, we started talking a little, but then he asked for my phone number and the social anxiety came back. So I said I was dealing with a lot of other stuff and am always busy(which is 100% true) and told him it wasn't a good time(which is kind of true). Did I mess up what could have been a good thing? Was I being too shy? Or did I do the right thing and fend off a possible player?
If you don't want a social life then the answer you gave him was correct.
You wouldn't know if he's a player or not because you never got to know him. His status as a "player" is unknown and irrelevant.
Don't automatically assume that because a guy asks you a question, or wants to exchange numbers that he wants to jump your bones.
Even if he's a "player" and he asked you a question about computers that doesn't automatically mean you're someone he's interested in to date.
I don't understand you answering him with it "not being a good time" to give you his phone number when he asked for it? That's odd.
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." - Shakespeare
I do want a social life. Yet I know I'm not the life of the party and never will be. Plus I was told never to trust guys easily. Most want one thing.
I think you shot the guy down without giving him a chance to get to know him because your fears are currently stronger than your desires to have a social life.
Now you are rationalizing your "decision" but in reality you got scared and bailed but are having a hard time admitting it.
First question...where does the root of your shyness and social anxiety stem from? Self-analysis and maybe some therapy would be a good thing to help you explore these issues, which are ovbiously causing you some distress. Its amazing how even one negative experience from early childhood can carry well into adulthood. I know people who, like me, are in their late 40's and still suffer upset, anger or lack of confidence because of one cruel act or comment made by a fellow classmate many, many years ago.
Second question...do you have a decent social network of female friends who are supportive, compassionate and understanding? Or even a male friend who fits the above requirements? Having a group of friends to go out with builds your confidence as well as social skills. Try to connect with some other students who, like you, are a bit shy and socially limited. You could help each other grow as you test the waters of social interaction.
Third...Although the guy who approached you is probably just a normal, decent guy, you were also wise to be wary. Your shyness and social anxiety will be noticable to others around you, and that includes predatory-type males and females, making you an easy target for abusers, control freaks and certain criminal types. I would build up a safe network of friends before even considering or worrying about going out with guys.
I hope you find a way to work out your difficulties and enable yourself to enjoy life more fully.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
