Met a gal who used to do porn, should I pursue a relationship? (woman, love)
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I would never take anyone's word about STDs. Let the tests do the talking!
I'm not taking her word for it. I'm taking his word for it.
I'm not the one who'll eventually have sex with her. That's OP problem if he's doesn't take the necessary steps to confirm it's indeed the case when doubts exist. I'm simply replying based on the info in OP. mmkay?
Interesting that you aren't interested in a LTR with her - guessing that means you only go after women you want to have sex with?
99.9% of women in the porn industry are very damaged and wounded individuals from neglected, abused or other mentally unstable backgrounds. Go ahead and be one more guy who takes advantage of her without really caring about her well being at all. Hey, if that's the kind of guy you want to be...
Where do you get these stats from? Assumption? It's an interesting debate. Is porn bad? Can we make such a blanket statement?
As far as dating / relationships go, it seems they take on a life of their own. Often without any apparent regard for the intentions of the people in them. Also, what makes them work is a mystery. Now I don't mean conceptually what makes them work (eg respect, love, attention). I mean of all the people I know, a large percentage of the relationships we thought would work out didn't and vice versa.
Well, I'm afraid that Porn stars are human too. And, they deserve to be treated and considered as part of the human race. Everybody does what they feel is right for them at the time, and she is no different.
I know a guy that married a hooker, knowing what she did for a living. At the time, she was also hooked on heroin. He ended up with a broken nose and two broken ribs when he was helping her get off of it, and they've been married for some 37 years now. Five kids and eight grandkids. He does not bring up her past, but she will once in a while.
So, she worked in the porn industry. Does that make her less human? The stigma might make it difficult for her to get into a meaningful relationship, and that may be why she told you about it from the start. Because she doesn't want something to start, again, and end when the guy finds out about her past. You have no intention of a lasting relationship with her, and I would suggest you find out if that's her intention as well before you get any further. Make it mutual instead of taking advantage of her.
I say go for it. Whether you are looking for something long term or not, this is a good opportunity to get a feel for what she's made up of. If you do decide to keep her around, you know what you're working with.
I would say, more often than not, these people come with baggage. But a lot of them are just as capable of love and healthy relationships as anyone else.
Interesting that you aren't interested in a LTR with her - guessing that means you only go after women you want to have sex with?
99.9% of women in the porn industry are very damaged and wounded individuals from neglected, abused or other mentally unstable backgrounds. Go ahead and be one more guy who takes advantage of her without really caring about her well being at all. Hey, if that's the kind of guy you want to be...
Not interested in a LTR with anyone until I find someone I want to be with forever, not likely though! She's pretty, fun and interesting. She could end up being just a friend which is fine too. I like dating and sex is not a requirement for me to date someone. I would not be using her, maybe she is using me? She knows up front where I am on relationships.
She is a real person! She acts like any other woman out there. I'm sure she has goals and dreams like anybody else. She has a part time job and is getting her MBA. Yep, she's told me about the big things and there's probably more even though the porn is a biggy in my book. She is not unstable and she's very down to earth. Yes, she did do 6 short movies in the early 2000s. I don't even know if she views it as being a mistake?
A few of my friends say go for it like I will be getting really freaky sex! I dont believe that would even be the case. Couple of close friends say go for it if you really like her. I get the feeling most people on here and in the real world are going to say Stay away, damaged goods! I will do whatever feels right at the time.
This is one of those giant taboos that not to many people are accepting of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_windwalker
You have no intention of a lasting relationship with her, and I would suggest you find out if that's her intention as well before you get any further. Make it mutual instead of taking advantage of her.
I would not take advantage of anyone. I don't like playing the heartbreaker role and I will ask her for her expectations.
Last edited by LS Jaun; 03-28-2011 at 04:52 PM..
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I'm not taking her word for it. I'm taking his word for it. 
