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It could be geography, but around here, we 50 somethings do not troll the bars for partners.
What's 'around here'? A small town? And I'm not talking about the club scene necessarily. I'm not much younger than you, but I can honestly say I could find an opportunity for a chance encounter almost anywhere. My rule, my ONLY rule was; if I sense a woman that I'm attracted to finds me attractive too then I will talk to them. Not always, when the attraction is strong and the opportunity is clear. See how it goes from there. Take it very slow, no long term designs, 'cause why sweat something that I may not even want once I see what I'd be getting into. Nice 'n easy does it. And for as long as we're both happy with the arrangement, cool. If not, let's try to part friends. It didn't always go so smoothly of course, but it often did. I found that when women knew I had no agenda they appreciated it. It took me a while to get it of course. For any guy (or any woman for that matter) that can benefit from what I learned the hard way, that's only great.
People are different... I would also have a so-n'-so stable job any day over looking for one, but some enjoy job-hopping! You sure you're a Gemini, lol?
ya I hate job hopping too! I promise you I'm a gemini! lol
I think technology has made it possible to to search for people, to screen people, to communicate with them from a safe distance, and also to read an unlimited amount of opinions of what guys/girls want, how and where are the most likely ways to attract, how to dress, talk, what to do and not to do on the first, second, date etc. It just seems so sterile to me. Granted I am not a kid, mid 40's, not in the dating game anymore, but it just seems to be such a ball breaker. I honestly don't know how (a) when you smell this kind of over thinking, planning, preparing on someone, how it is not an immediate turn off, like your being set-up for something. And (b) how your innate self love does not suffer as a consequence.
This reminds me of how I've always hated the little "rules" about dating--they are ridiculous and many hate them too, but people still expect you to follow them! Many have to do with time or milestones, for examples: # of days to call back, # of dates until sex, # of months (if ever!) to say the words "I love you," when to announce someone as your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend".... Why are these so planned out?
I always dated people I met in "chance encounters" but all my peers seem to only date men they know through friends, their coworkers and such. We didn't seem to understand each other!
You see a cute girl working at the check-out line at the grocery store. You try chatting her up. You succeed. Then you say, "Why don't we meet next week, you and me?" O NO CREEPER ALERT.
You see another cutey at the library. You try chatting her up. She looks reluctant. You give her your phone number and ask for hers. CREEPER ALERT.
You see a cute girl working at the check-out line at the grocery store. You try chatting her up. You succeed. Then you say, "Why don't we meet next week, you and me?" O NO CREEPER ALERT.
You see another cutey at the library. You try chatting her up. She looks reluctant. You give her your phone number and ask for hers. CREEPER ALERT.
Well if you find you're setting off the "creep alert" repeatedly, try not asking for anything the first time you meet them (not even their name, unless they ask first). Leave it to chance for you to meet her again. After a few chance encounters even she won't be creeped out if you ask for a number.
She could think you're looking for her but that's a clue that you don't want that type of woman in your life.
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