Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I see it the same way. I also apply this when I go out with my buddies. Let’s say a guy paid for the tickets for the rugby, cricket, whatever sport event. I ask how much was the ticket to pay for mine but he refuses to accept my money. Well, I don’t just sit there with my hands on my lap. When we are at the game, I will simply get up and come back with the food. That’s my way of saying “thank you”, show that I appreciate his gesture to get my ticket. Or I’ll take care of the next pay-per-view event and have the food ready at home for my buddies. Even when I visit a friend (guy or girl) I won’t arrive to their place empty handed. I’ll go pick up pastries, drinks, snack, or something.
Assuming a guy has to pay because that’s how it is supposed to be may work normally in western culture, hey, that’s how it goes, that’s fine, but I prefer a different stance. The girls I date, ask me out, go out with, hang out with, don’t follow gender rules/traditions/entitlements.
This sounds like the most sensible (and probably typical) way to handle who pays for what. If friends and dates get in the habit of sharing expenses like this, then everyone comes out more or less even.
Believe me, a man will let you pick up the tab for dinner occasionally, if you offer.
I think it's weird that one grown adult would ever expect another grown adult, who is a stranger to them really, to pay for their food or entertainment on a regular basis. First thing that comes to mind is panhandler to be honest. I think it's shameful when women do this.
This sounds like the most sensible (and probably typical) way to handle who pays for what. If friends and dates get in the habit of sharing expenses like this, then everyone comes out more or less even.
That’s how it works with me and the girls I associate with. No gender rules or entitlements, doesn’t matter who came up with the plan, and so on.
Quote:
Believe me, a man will let you pick up the tab for dinner occasionally, if you offer.
And a woman should be ready to back up her offer. Just saying this as there are women who feel insulted and angry if a man accepts their offer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I think it's weird that one grown adult would ever expect another grown adult, who is a stranger to them really, to pay for their food or entertainment on a regular basis. First thing that comes to mind is panhandler to be honest. I think it's shameful when women do this.
Dynamics of different relationships are different and that should go without saying. No one is being exploited or taken advantage of in a relationship unless they feel they are being exploited and taken advantage of.
I see it the same way. I also apply this when I go out with my buddies. Let’s say a guy paid for the tickets for the rugby, cricket, whatever sport event. I ask how much was the ticket to pay for mine but he refuses to accept my money. Well, I don’t just sit there with my hands on my lap. When we are at the game, I will simply get up and come back with the food. That’s my way of saying “thank you”, show that I appreciate his gesture to get my ticket. Or I’ll take care of the next pay-per-view event and have the food ready at home for my buddies. Even when I visit a friend (guy or girl) I won’t arrive to their place empty handed. I’ll go pick up pastries, drinks, snack, or something.
Assuming a guy has to pay because that’s how it is supposed to be may work normally in western culture, hey, that’s how it goes, that’s fine, but I prefer a different stance. The girls I date, ask me out, go out with, hang out with, don’t follow gender rules/traditions/entitlements.
I see it the same way. I also apply this when I go out with my buddies. Let’s say a guy paid for the tickets for the rugby, cricket, whatever sport event. I ask how much was the ticket to pay for mine but he refuses to accept my money. Well, I don’t just sit there with my hands on my lap. When we are at the game, I will simply get up and come back with the food. That’s my way of saying “thank you”, show that I appreciate his gesture to get my ticket. Or I’ll take care of the next pay-per-view event and have the food ready at home for my buddies. Even when I visit a friend (guy or girl) I won’t arrive to their place empty handed. I’ll go pick up pastries, drinks, snack, or something.
Assuming a guy has to pay because that’s how it is supposed to be may work normally in western culture, hey, that’s how it goes, that’s fine, but I prefer a different stance. The girls I date, ask me out, go out with, hang out with, don’t follow gender rules/traditions/entitlements.
A true deep friendship, you don't even think about ANY of the above. My friend buys me something. I don't go, oh now I have to get him back. No, it's the most natural thing in the world because we know each other will be got back. Spending money on him or her is like spending money on myself and vice a versa. We're always getting each other, that keeping track would yield a brain ****.
Samething for a romantic relationship. Once you get to that stage, you don't even think about. It's only at the earlier stages, when you're paranoid about keeping things equal or don't trust the person fully that you keep receipts in your head.
I believe that both people can pay at times. However, in cases like first dates when men ask me to pay I am offended. This happened where a man wanted me to pay for HIM on a first date he asked me out on. I paid for myself and never went out with him again.
The truth is that as that equality between genders doesn't mean that men and women are the same.
My best friend has dated a lot of guys that expected her to go dutch or even pay for their activities. I don't think it's a coincidence that same friend has also dated a lot of guys who attempted to exploit her financially, use her to teach them things or do other things for them they didn't feel capable of, and wouldn't reciprocate oral sex in the bedroom.
I have had my fair share of relationship problems but never encountered any of those sorts of issues, I wonder why. Take two guesses.
Some of those same men have had real relationships where they did pay for things and weren't constantly asking her to chip in. The difference? They were really into those women, they just weren't that into her.
If a man really wants a woman he puts in effort, and that includes paying for things the bulk of the time, particularly in the beginning when they are courting. If a man asks from money from you, that means he's stopped trying to impress. Yes, that's how male female relationships work. There is no parity in the sexes when it comes to certain things.
I didn't realize how many male radical feminists posted in this forum until reading this thread. Remind me to pay more attention. lol
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
