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Recently a wise man whom I have a lot of respect for made a statement to me that I haven't been able to put out of my mind. He said "Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage."
No. This isn't "Please Teacher" (anime) where they fell in love after they were married. If they are not in love by the time they get married, they should not rely on the marriage to create the love between them. A good marriage will keep their love fresh throughout the marriage. By the way, watch "Please Teacher". It's an awesome anime and shows some of the problems a marriage have. In the end they agree that marriage is not perfect and there will be times where they hurt each other, but as long as they stick by eachother they'll be ok.
Recently a wise man whom I have a lot of respect for made a statement to me that I haven't been able to put out of my mind. He said "Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage."
Let's discuss this. Do you agree?
I do agree and I'm writing that one down in my quote journal.
I can't put into words right now why I agree with it, but it just rings true. The second sentence for sure.
I will have to wait for more responses to get into a discussion - I'm kind of lazy today.
hard to say, there are arranged marriages in other cultures, some of these couples I know, they seem happy and in love. Of course this isnt always the case though, and I know of an example where the couple got divorced after she cheated on the guy with someone she DID connect with so it can go both ways.
Recently a wise man whom I have a lot of respect for made a statement to me that I haven't been able to put out of my mind. He said "Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage."
Let's discuss this. Do you agree?
Yes, I agree. What most of us call "love" and have used as a basis to build a marriage on is actually infatuation, lust, obsession, temporary excitement, or however you want to call it. Once that wears off, you end up with an incompatible person.
If you're smart enough to choose a spouse with a good character, similar outlook on life, and you're supported and treated with respect, love will follow. It likely will not be of the kind mentioned above, but it will be enough for having a content and comfortable life. Whether that will be enough for everybody long-term is debateable... However, it's been proven time and again you can't find all the traits you want in one person and you have to choose what is more important to you and what you'd rather live with or whether you prefer to live with somebody at all or not.
Recently a wise man whom I have a lot of respect for made a statement to me that I haven't been able to put out of my mind. He said "Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage."
Let's discuss this. Do you agree?
I absolutely agree. I read once that romantic love was a contrivance of romance novelists and does not exist in reality.
That butterflies-in-the-tummy feeling that most people misinterpret as love is simply natures way of perpetuating the species and insuring impregnation. Although it is a heck of a rush, it is fleeting and a long-term commitment should NOT be based upon it. Unfortunately, many are.
Love grows slowly over the years. It involves respect, honor, mutual understanding and shared experiences. I have known partners in arranged marriages and for the most part they are successful (and have been for centuries), not because romantic love is involved, but because they have been evaluated and matched based upon their lifestyle, values and temperament.
It has been my long-held opinion that there would be a much lower divorce rate if people were not fed the "happily ever after" fairy tale of love and romance.
I agree, in part. I insist that all the appropriate compatibilities exist, PLUS strong chemistry - whether that's love, lust, infatution, or something else, doesn't matter, but I want that on top of the mandatory compatibility. It's possible, fesible, and desirable, IMO - but I also know and see that too often people think of compatibility only after falling in lust.
Since love is, at last check, still different for everyone, I think you'll get as many different answers as there are definitions of it.
In other words, yes and no. The ones who follow the latest scientific findings will agree; the ones who have a more, shall we say, liberal outlook will say "no".
Recently a wise man whom I have a lot of respect for made a statement to me that I haven't been able to put out of my mind. He said "Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage."
Let's discuss this. Do you agree?
hmmm--I would say a clear understanding of 'love' would be essential to making a lifelong comittment.
Therefore--I guess I don't agree. Feelings--rational thought--love includes all of that. Emotional maturity--I'm for it.
Still wondering what my parents thought they were doing---plenty of speeches about this topic--although, imo--they didn't 'know much'.
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