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The purpose of noting stats is not for guidance as to how you should live your life. Frankly, it's a bit surprising you would assume as much. Of course our own personal experience trumps the experience of others in our lives. The stats are a refutation of attempts to generalize personal experience onto populations; a gender, race, etc. If we want to generalize, which is a matter of trends, then that's where statistics come into play.
I see the OP as having made an observation, not a generalization. He never said all, or even most, women complain about not finding a decent man.
If we were to ask, "why do a lot of men get divorced", I'd see it as a legitimate observation and question. There's no exaggeration or falsehood in it. So I wouldn't see the point of talking about whether it's a generalization and/or trying to refute the alleged generalization; and likewise in this discussion.
If you're talking about some alleged generalization other than the OP's then I might suggest that such discussion is off-topic, and/or you might say which alleged generalization you're refuting, as it's hard to go back and read the whole thread.
Actually, I was considering that this whole thread is off-topic (even my own comments (as I pointed out already)) until I read this very on-topic comment:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hwy phantom
You mean the guys are upset that women are upset that they can't find any decent guys? I not sure why they would care? I don't think the OP is complaining for women but complaining about women complaining, if that makes any sense. And yes women complain ad nauseam about not being able to find a decent guy. Every other profile on many dating sits says something like, I need to find a real man. LOL
I can concur that I've also seen online personals that say or imply the above. Not to generalize, but clearly there are some women (we can reasonably say "a lot") who do that.
Now, to answer the OP's question, my response is, I don't know why they do that. Only they know. Perhaps someone should recruit some of the women from those dating sites to join this thread and enlighten us. But a lot of the same women don't respond to messages from decent men (Cdubs is the classic example, as I pointed out so many posts ago), so good luck getting that to happen.
Are we back on-topic now?
(Disclaimer: Not complaining, not generalizing, just responding to some of the questions and comments presented.)
Hans, I don't think it's any secret that a number of men generalize their experiences onto women at large. You can argue that it's not the case, but I don't see how you will reconcile such an argument with the idea that these observations tell as much about the observer as they do about the women they're observing. If it's not a generalization about women at large, then it addresses a demographic, a demographic these men belong to (by choice). This notion is often rejected, wouldn't you say? If it wasn't rejected then there would be no reason to complain about "women" in the first place since these men could simply choose alternative social circles.
Eta: I think my response is on topic. I'm refuting the premise based on my observation of the responses by the women participating in this thread. That's not to say that some people do not complain.
Hans, I don't think it's any secret that a number of men generalize their experiences onto women at large. You can argue that it's not the case, but I don't see how you will reconcile such an argument with the idea that these observations tell as much about the observer as they do about the women they're observing. If it's not a generalization about women at large, then it addresses a demographic, a demographic these men belong to (by choice). This notion is often rejected, wouldn't you say? If it wasn't rejected then there would be no reason to complain about "women" in the first place since these men could simply choose alternative social circles.
Cool. But if you're finding so much generalization going on, you might want to reconsider your own pattern of socializing. "Common denominators" and all (not to sound trite, but aphorisms are contagious).
I think there's a "birds of a feather" thing going on around here.
Quote:
Eta: I think my response is on topic. I'm refuting the premise based on my observation of the responses by the women participating in this thread. That's not to say that some people do not complain.
Yes, some people do complain. I wonder why they do that. (Just idle wondering, I'm not looking for an answer, unlike the OP.)
Cool. But if you're finding so much generalization going on, you might want to reconsider your own pattern of socializing. "Common denominators" and all (not to sound trite, but aphorisms are contagious).
I think there's a "birds of a feather" thing going on around here.
Yes, some people do complain. I wonder why they do that. (Just idle wondering, I'm not looking for an answer, unlike the OP.)
The men in my social circles don't have these complaints, nor do the women. I only see it here since this is the only space I spend time outside of my own circles. And I agree that it is a matter of birds of a feather.
The men in my social circles don't have these complaints, nor do the women. I only see it here since this is the only space I spend time outside of my own circles. And I agree that it is a matter of birds of a feather.
Fair enough. I'm just saying you see more generalizing than I do, e.g., I didn't notice any in the original post.
Not saying that's right or wrong, just different. I guess diversity is good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Eta: I think my response is on topic. I'm refuting the premise based on my observation of the responses by the women participating in this thread. That's not to say that some people do not complain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hans63
Yes, some people do complain. I wonder why they do that. (Just idle wondering, I'm not looking for an answer, unlike the OP.)
Since, after all this, we have no noticeable progress toward answering the OP's question (and given that, yes, said complaints are real -- not asking for me, just bringing this back to the OP), is it time to close the thread?
(Disclaimer: just asking, not complaining.)
(Additional disclaimer: I'm not proposing some kind of moderator action, I just meant "close" in the sense of shelving this topic. Not against free speech, just wondering what further purpose this thread can serve, and feel like asking. I don't even expect an answer, just offering food for thought. Not that I consider it to be food in the sense of being nourishing to anyone, in fact I fully expect that this post serves only myself and no one else. Not that I want to deny anyone else any enjoyment from it, in fact I hope someone out there enjoys my spew as much as I do, however unlikely that may be.)
(Another disclaimer: No animals were harmed, nor were lawyers paid, in the composition of this message.)
The men in my social circles don't have these complaints,
You are pretty clueless if you believe that they would be frank about this with you.
Men keep this to themselves in mixed company and use these forums to get the truth out to other men.
Women may be more forthcoming but they hold all the aces so can do this with relative impunity. In comparison, men must grovel for the favors of women and dare not say what they think.
I'm just going to say, I'm going to always speak my mind. I should say almost always, since there are times where I really have to keep my mouth completely shut, but really I'm just going to be upfront and honest as often as I feel I should be.
I'm just going to say, I'm going to always speak my mind. I should say almost always, since there are times where I really have to keep my mouth completely shut, but really I'm just going to be upfront and honest as often as I feel I should be.
Women won't like that but this is not necessarily without merit.
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