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This topic has been beaten to death and some of my friends were just talking about it again just yesterday.
I'll just post my exact email I sent to them on it:
1)Most black women I know are already open to dating other races. Bmore and DC are very liberal areas so I don’t think its much of an issue in our region at all. Most times when I go out, I can spot a black woman with a non-black man and with kids. I think a lot of black women are past it already.
2)For any black women who are sticking to finding themselves a black marriage-ready man; good luck to you. No hate. If that’s their preferences then, so be it.
Odd. If I were a black woman and willing to get married, why would I not automatically be open towards all races if obviously my own one doesn't offer me what I am looking for? Why even try to find someone of one's own race in the first place? It's crazy as you probably miss the most compatible people that way, given black people are a minority.
For an educated, professional, the woman interviewed in the article sounded ignorant to me. "I want chocolate babies." so that people will know that they are hers. "I don't want to be mistaken for the nanny." Who cares what people think?
"I don't want to have to explain my hair." These reasons are ridiculous, if you ask me. If you are going to let something as trivial as explaining the texture of your hair stop you from possibly finding someone that you can be happy with, you have bigger problems.
For an educated, professional, the woman interviewed in the article sounded ignorant to me. "I want chocolate babies." so that people will know that they are hers. "I don't want to be mistaken for the nanny." Who cares what people think?
"I don't want to have to explain my hair." These reasons are ridiculous, if you ask me. If you are going to let something as trivial as explaining the texture of your hair stop you from possibly finding someone that you can be happy with, you have bigger problems.
I didn't even read the article but you're right; those are dumb reasons.
Black women who do marry often end up with black men who are less accomplished than they are. They are more likely than any other group of women to earn more than their husbands.
i think this is key. Women of all races don't want to date someone who is lower social status, and this gap just happens to be most severe among blacks. Money seems to have a lot to do with how women define social status. Young women make more than men do, now; this is what they have wanted for years. Congrats on your career success.
I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what you wish for.
You also have religion which exacerbates the problem. Women are generally more religious than men, and these large numbers of religious women demand religious men that are in very short supply. It's like a guy who is looking for a spouse who will watch ESPN 12 hours a day... the pickins will be slim.
i think this is key. Women of all races don't want to date someone who is lower social status, and this gap just happens to be most severe among blacks. Money seems to have a lot to do with how women define social status. Young women make more than men do, now; this is what they have wanted for years. Congrats on your career success.
I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what you wish for.
You also have religion which exacerbates the problem. Women are generally more religious than men, and these large numbers of religious women demand religious men that are in very short supply.
I don't think that's fair. There is nothing wrong with wanting career success and women shouldn't be penalized for it.
I think that the real question is: why haven't black men caught up with black women? I don't think it "just happens". But, that is for another thread.
For an educated, professional, the woman interviewed in the article sounded ignorant to me. "I want chocolate babies." so that people will know that they are hers. "I don't want to be mistaken for the nanny." Who cares what people think?
"I don't want to have to explain my hair." These reasons are ridiculous, if you ask me. If you are going to let something as trivial as explaining the texture of your hair stop you from possibly finding someone that you can be happy with, you have bigger problems.
I have yet to come across a legitimate reason, other than physical attraction, for generally choosing not to date outside one's race.
I will go on record, here and now, as saying that I 'ain't mad' at black women who choose to date and marry interracially...nor will I chastise my 'brothers' who choose to go that route...I am not the Almighty, nor am I any type of authority figure, and besides, who would I be trying to tell adults how to live their lives anyhow?
If the person who is best suited for you, doesn't look like you (i.e. same race), then why should that stop you? If that person loves, cherishes, and adores you, and would move heaven and earth for you, why let pigment (or lack thereof LOL) be an obstacle?
There are those on here (not just in Relationships, but other threads too---seen their posts with my own eyes) who would get their various undergarments twisted into a Siamese knot at the prospect of seeing people cross racial lines...and to them I say this---
I myself have never dated/married interracially, but should I choose to, then you can mutter under your breath, write caustic posts, and stare at me and my 'chosen one' til your eyeballs pop from your head, roll down your arm into your hand (complete with that AHHH-OOOOOO-GAHHH! sound effect), look us up and down, then roll back up your arm into your head...as long as said reaction doesn't include talking junk to my face, or getting in my space, then we have no beef...
Further, I refuse to quantitavely accept the notion that people who date/marry interracially 'hate their race'...WTF??!! They just decided, to these eyes anyway, to do what adults do and exercise their freedom of choice, and once again, they'll get no grief from me...I reiterate, if the one you ultimately come to love is NOT of your race, then that is your choice...you have chosen to be happy, and (solely my opinion here) anyone who has a problem with that can have a Coke and a smile and shut the---well, you know the rest
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Why even try to find someone of one's own race in the first place? It's crazy as you probably miss the most compatible people that way, given black people are a minority.
The Captain Says This...
