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Dating sucks for everyone. Finding someone you can really click with and build a life with is hard. That's life. Suck it up buttercup I say. Just because the man or woman you want hasn't fallen in your lap doesn't mean there is something horribly wrong with black women or black men.
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Amen.
I think that was probably the smartest post in this worn out thread.
There should be a new rule: Race threads get knocked off all together, no matter how "informative" it appears because people will still post ignorant, inane posts and will argue about racial relationships just for the hell of it.
But, in all fairness, what difference is that from the woman who may have a Harvard Degree, single, no children, well read, but is homely looking and therefore cant get a man with similiar qualifications to date her? Because guess what? A man just wont do it either.
Meaning, crap goes both ways. Sure, we can ask the woman who makes $400,000 a yr why she wont date a man who makes $80,000. But lets also ask the Harvard man why he wont date a Harvard woman on his education and status level if she is homely, but instead picks the hot looking hairdresser. Wasnt this point just brought up on this thread?
Life aint fair, is it? Both men and women have their little "things" that they want, dont they? Some women want a man of equal or higher status, and some men just want the hot chick on their arm. And if you dont measure up, they will both pass you over. Does it feel fair on both sides? Nope. Not if you are the one being passed over. The only answer i have for that is that is just the way life is. It sucks sometimes.
Yep, it goes both ways. The difference is that you will NEVER, and I mean NEVER see any WSJ articles or ABC specials talking about how the rapidly bloating (heh!) obesity rate among American women is shrinking the pool of "eligible" women for men. That's considered non-PC, but ruling out men who don't have degrees (notwithstanding their other compensatory attributes) is A-Okay! Hypocrisy at its sleaziest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayoi
Well yeah that is true but I don't think this attitude is as endemic amongst black women as you make it out to be. You can't take what you see in DC and assume that it applies everywhere else. You don't get to make that call unless you have lived in every city and town that has a sizable black population.
I don't actually. I think women in smaller, more traditional towns like Greenville, SC, Macon, GA or Nashville, TN don't encounter the same "problems" as their more status-conscious sistas on the East Coast. I know plenty of girls from high school and college who moved to more family-oriented places like Raleigh, met guys there, and then got married and popped out kids before 30. Meanwhile, you have an aging of army of well-educated soon-to-be-cougars in DC yapping about men not being "on their level." Eh.
Last edited by BajanYankee; 08-21-2011 at 09:32 PM..
In any case, it is hard to believe that most black women are 1. overly picky fat high powered professionals who only want men who match their white collar status/salary or better, *AND* 2. loud, tacky ghetto trash in (at best) mid level jobs, occupying mostly working class professions while holding degrees from community colleges. Which is it? Both can't be true at the same time.
Is that your strawwoman argument?
I'll make myself unequivocally clear so that all of the obtuse may understand.
1. The overwhelming majority of "successful" black women have regular ass low status jobs. Accordingly, they date and marry their conventionally low status male equivalents (i.e., mechanics, pipefitters, etc).
2. A small minority of black women have high-powered careers as attorneys and physicians. Their bitterness is the genesis of every article ever written on this subject.
These articles are all prompted by the women who fall into Category #2 who feel that their "success" entitles them to a "successful" black man. That's it. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now. Black men, for the most part, are content with their options, at least to the extent that we don't fuss about them to Diane Sawyer on nationally-televised programs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinawina
Of course, these women are the scourge of all these monetarily successful, incredibly good looking, perfectly fit, non playa, high character, great personality, super-catch black men out there who just can't seem to find anyone worthy to date and/or settle down with. Uh-huh. LOL
I think the media has made it abundantly clear that we're good for nothing (and everyone believes that). I'm just making the point that the women who complain about not finding their "match" are likely not the equivalent of the men they desire. If these women could get over their own thickheadedness, and understand that men don't care about their job and fancy degrees, then they would understand this. If a black, female physician wants the black, male physician, she needs to be bring the full panoply of attributes that men desire to the table, which are, in descending order of importance, beauty, femininity, loyalty, supportiveness, and then smarts.
Funny thing about this topic that no one mentions as they rant on and on about black women... at the end of the day, many black women simply aren't particularly sexually attracted to white men. If you pull 10 random white men out of a hat of 100 names, and do the same with black men, the black men will be more of a masculine bunch. On average, black men are more masculine than white men, so if you prefer a more masculine guy, it is natural to look towards a black man, especially if you are a black woman. (Since most people prefer to date their own race anyway, and there is nothing wrong with that.)
I have noticed that race is quite a big issue with relationships I am a black female and when I go out into the dating arena I feel that only black males are the ones who are pretty interested in black females. Whereas other races like Whites cacasions, hispanics, etc only want their own or will date all other besides black females. Why does it seem like dating a black female is a taboo unless we look like Hallie Berry or Beyonce? Is there a need for us to look like these women to be preferable or have long straight looking hair?
I have noticed that race is quite a big issue with relationships I am a black female and when I go out into the dating arena I feel that only black males are the ones who are pretty interested in black females. Whereas other races like Whites cacasions, hispanics, etc only want their own or will date all other besides black females. Why does it seem like dating a black female is a taboo unless we look like Hallie Berry or Beyonce? Is there a need for us to look like these women to be preferable or have long straight looking hair?
In my experience and from what I have seen, straight hair really does make a huge difference, as well as being thin. Skin tone doesn't matter that much in comparison.
Edit:
Hold on a second, I typed that out, then realized that black mean have the same preference when it comes to hair. I don't care what they say, in the real world, straight hair rules (or long dread locks, which hold appeal for a different set of men than the straight hair guys). I notice, the older the woman gets, the more this hair rule counts. In your 20s, any hair will do. But as you get older, longer and straighter holds the most appeal. I guess that's why all in of those Real Housewives of _______ shows, even the white women all wear hair extensions.
Funny thing about this topic that no one mentions as they rant on and on about black women... at the end of the day, many black women simply aren't particularly sexually attracted to white men. If you pull 10 random white men out of a hat of 100 names, and do the same with black men, the black men will be more of a masculine bunch. On average, black men are more masculine than white men, so if you prefer a more masculine guy, it is natural to look towards a black man, especially if you are a black woman. (Since most people prefer to date their own race anyway, and there is nothing wrong with that.)
More blanket statements. Black men being more masculine than white men is comical, racist, and insulting.
I have noticed that race is quite a big issue with relationships I am a black female and when I go out into the dating arena I feel that only black males are the ones who are pretty interested in black females. Whereas other races like Whites cacasions, hispanics, etc only want their own or will date all other besides black females. Why does it seem like dating a black female is a taboo unless we look like Hallie Berry or Beyonce? Is there a need for us to look like these women to be preferable or have long straight looking hair?
From what I've been told, a lot of them think that we aren't interested. That's the message they've gotten from the "nothin' but a black man" crew, and men don't bother wasting time with women they don't feel they have a chance with. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there a little more. If you're not the type of woman who approaches (I'm not) then be approachable. If there's a cute guy who is non-black, he might feel like he needs "permission" to talk to you...even if it's just a smile or something.
Who cares if you don't look like Halle Berry or Beyonce? Who wants to be with a guy who is drunk on media-enforced beauty ideals?
More blanket statements. Black men being more masculine than white men is comical, racist, and insulting.
I don't care if you don't like it, and I don't care if you think it's racist. It's the truth. Why else do you think it is that in the old days, southern white men were so paranoid about black men even looking at their women? They felt inferior in terms of their masculinity. It is the only thing about which they felt inferior when it came to black men, and they ran interference on it is hard as they could: Glance at a white women, get hung. They felt sexually threatened.
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