News, More black women consider 'dating out' (perspective, standards, like)
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Interesting you should bring up Asian men, because in my opinion they probably have it worse than any other group in the US. Such a large number of Asian women have been brainwashed (by parents desire for status or by the US media's fascination with emasculating them) to be repulsed by their own men. How horrible must that be, to have your own people turned against you on every front? I have no dog in that fight and still I'm kinda offended when I see commercials like the current Direct TV one.
This isn't an academic journal, it's a forum. I don't have to prove anything. I am giving up my observations as a black female. Perhaps the observations posted by men are more to your liking; if so I suggest you scroll back for them. Discount me if you want, I don't mind.
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Now here's another thing about minorities dating white men (and again, I have dated white guys myself). I like to call this Beta Meets Status. Yes some people aren't going to like this, but it's true. May as well go here now!
This phenomenon is more common among white male/Asian female, but you see it with black women too.
Many (not all, but many) white men who exclusively date a woman of color are beta males who can't get an attractive white women. Maybe it's money, maybe it's their looks, maybe it's he beta personality... But they can't get an attractive white woman to save their life. They do learn, whether consciously or not, that by being white they can land an attractive women of color who is dating for "status" - and by that they are dating seeking white skin priviledge. This is, as an example, you really don't see white men with ugly, fat black women (but you will see the reverse on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale). Now I'm not talking about alpha white men - they date who they like. Today it could be a white girl, tomorrow black, and the next day Asian. I'm talking about those white guys who have settled into a particular ethnicity. Yes SOME do it because they honestly find that particular ethnic group the most attractive, but MANY are betas who have figured out how to avoid dating the dregs of their own race. Those who see through this sort of thing - like me as I have had dozens of these men present themselves to me - are definitely turned off by it.
Not sure if there is truly a pure Alpha or Beta male out there considering most men are between the two. I attract better looking Black woman than White woman or maybe I just think they are better looking. Does that lock me into being a Beta Male? Are Black women looking at me like I am privileged and a step up since I am White? Black or White woman that go out with me usually say the same thing "Jaun, you are attractive, entertaining and treat me well" besides being the best lover on earth (Added for affect only), thats what I see in you.
I can see where you are coming from but I don't believe it's purely a Beta male thing. It is typically a nerdy white guy with a nerdy black woman. Neither one of them are usually very attractive from a societal stand point.
Interesting observation Onglet,
I too have noticed that many of the white guys who hit on me online (and the veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery few that have indicated their interest in real life), were beta-ish, not the typical redblooded, confident Alpha male that anyone who's been following my posts here, knows I like.
I have always wondered why that was. I mean, I am attracted to the same cute white guys that are shown in movies, and if you notice, the vast majority are confident/cocky/natural leaders. Why would I want a guy who isn't that?
Beta guys of any race, be they white, black, asian african, latino (I know the last 2 are not a race) don't do anything for me. Bring me a real man of any race....a man who knows how to take care of this bo... let me stop
It's a big factor no one seems to consider. It will be interesting for you to view some of these couples going forward. You will be able to spot them.
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Now that I have given it some thought, I don't think these white beta males who are enchanted with minority status daters even do it on purpose. I think men - of all races - are just a hell of a lot better than women when it comes to adopting "tastes" in order to maximize their sexual opportunity. If he score a white woman who is a 3 in her group, or a 9 in the other, many will change their tastes towards the 9. Women, on the other hand, are terrible about that. We don't want to "settle" so we'd never change our tastes in order to be more successful with men. Just read any article featuring interviews from women aged 40+.
Not sure if there is truly a pure Alpha or Beta male out there considering most men are between the two. I attract better looking Black woman than White woman or maybe I just think they are better looking. Does that lock me into being a Beta Male? Are Black women looking at me like I am privileged and a step up since I am White? Black or White woman that go out with me usually say the same thing "Jaun, you are attractive, entertaining and treat me well" besides being the best lover on earth (Added for affect only), thats what I see in you.
I can see where you are coming from but I don't believe it's purely a Beta male thing. It is typically a nerdy white guy with a nerdy black woman. Neither one of them are usually very attractive from a societal stand point.
There isn't pure alpha or beta, but most men lean one way of the other. The people around you have categorized you, even if you think they haven't. As for your question, I can't answer where you are in those situations without getting to know you.
And any woman who explains to you what she sees in you, is probably lying. Nobody naturally speaks that way: "You know what I see in you? blah blah blah." Come on, anyone who brings up such a topic is trying to get over on you in some way. It's just not a natural topic of conversation, unless the other person is needy and whiny, so you tell them so they'll stop crying.
This isn't an academic journal, it's a forum. I don't have to prove anything. I am giving up my observations as a black female. Perhaps the observations posted by men are more to your liking; if so I suggest you scroll back for them. Discount me if you want, I don't mind.
**************
Now here's another thing about minorities dating white men (and again, I have dated white guys myself). I like to call this Beta Meets Status. Yes some people aren't going to like this, but it's true. May as well go here now!
This phenomenon is more common among white male/Asian female, but you see it with black women too.
Many (not all, but many) white men who exclusively date a woman of color are beta males who can't get an attractive white women. Maybe it's money, maybe it's their looks, maybe it's he beta personality... But they can't get an attractive white woman to save their life. They do learn, whether consciously or not, that by being white they can land an attractive women of color who is dating for "status" - and by that they are dating seeking white skin priviledge. This is, as an example, you really don't see white men with ugly, fat black women (but you will see the reverse on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale). Now I'm not talking about alpha white men - they date who they like. Today it could be a white girl, tomorrow black, and the next day Asian. I'm talking about those white guys who have settled into a particular ethnicity. Yes SOME do it because they honestly find that particular ethnic group the most attractive, but MANY are betas who have figured out how to avoid dating the dregs of their own race. Those who see through this sort of thing - like me as I have had dozens of these men present themselves to me - are definitely turned off by it.
i have seen this happen time and time again myself, and i definitely think that the vast majority of white guys that date outside of their race do so because they can't get white women (or at least have a much easier time getting women of other races). i have known a number of them who, after years of poor dating luck would suddenly "discover" women of other races and settle down with them.
one such guy is (and has been) unemployed for years and currently lives off his asian girlfriend. another who is overweight and owes everything to his dad is marrying an asian woman (he never dated an asian woman his entire life). yet another suddenly "discovered" them after he hit his 30s and his dating pool started drying up. and so on.
this is not meant to demean asian woman and portray them as any "less" than their white counterparts, however it does make you wonder if the so called "yellow fever" attributed to white men is really more of a "white fever" that should be attributed to the women involved.
Once again, I said MANY and not all. Personally I date a lot of different types (see my thread "He has a small problem, a very small problem" from a month ago as proof).
It doesn't make what I'm saying any less true!
Sorry it upsets you, but the truth stings sometimes.
You claim stuff to be the truth, but you are basing it off of your observation. so, then I can say my opinions are the truth and yours are wrong since I am basing it off of my observations as a black female.
You can't have it both ways, either it is the truth and you can prove it is true, or it is an opinion based off of your observations, which just as mine can not be considered the truth, since you are only going off of observations.
There isn't pure alpha or beta, but most men lean one way of the other. The people around you have categorized you, even if you think they haven't. As for your question, I can't answer where you are in those situations without getting to know you.
And any woman who explains to you what she sees in you, is probably lying. Nobody naturally speaks that way: "You know what I see in you? blah blah blah." Come on, anyone who brings up such a topic is trying to get over on you in some way. It's just not a natural topic of conversation, unless the other person is needy and whiny, so you tell them so they'll stop crying.
"There isn't pure alpha or beta, but most men lean one way of the other."
I think when some people think Alpha, their thinking Cocky, bossy, Assertive. Some guys got this going until you find out theyre a Janitor driving a 1988 Corolla. Is that still an Alpha? I guess it could be but I would be looking up to him. Is an Alpha supposed to have depth or just all on the surface?
When did it ever become a crime to be considered a "beta" male? And when did beta become one of those dreaded four-letter words?
The built-in assumption here is that "alpha" is always better than "beta", without exception. And that the beta male is always universally 100% despised by women. The thing is, a guy may not *want* to be an alpha, and by his own choice. Why should everyone automatically always *want* to be an alpha? I don't particularly admire alphas, just b/c they happen to *be* alphas. Alpha, beta, and so on and so forth, are just a social caste system anyway.
Interesting you should bring up Asian men, because in my opinion they probably have it worse than any other group in the US. Such a large number of Asian women have been brainwashed (by parents desire for status or by the US media's fascination with emasculating them) to be repulsed by their own men. How horrible must that be, to have your own people turned against you on every front? I have no dog in that fight and still I'm kinda offended when I see commercials like the current Direct TV one.
Interesting. My parents don't care about status that much. It's mostly about culture that they care the most. My dad could probably, eh, careless if we date outside of our race but my mom cares more. She won't kill us but she expected us to date our own ethnicity anyway. I do understand because a lot has to do with culture barrier like traditions and language, but who says that White/Black/Hispanic/whatever ethnicity you are can't learn? My older sister dated a Hispanic guy. I dated two guys who were Asian and my other sisters have mostly dated Asians as well.
I do agree that media has done a lot to emasculating them, but I will also admit that IME a lot of times I refuse to date Hmong guys only. The only Asian group that I refuse to date or get marry to. I would gladly date any other Asian group. I know this isn't a good excuse for me to eliminate them, but most of my experience with them has left me some kind of bitter/resentment towards them. I don't treat them any lesser than I would to a white or black guy. I'm friends with plenty of them. I just refuse to date them, that's all. I'm not saying I deserve better when I believe that I'm just another Plain Jane Asian yw anyway.
I didn't grow up with these Alpha and Beta stuff either.
When did it ever become a crime to be considered a "beta" male? And when did beta become one of those dreaded four-letter words?
The built-in assumption here is that "alpha" is always better than "beta", without exception. And that the beta male is always universally 100% despised by women. The thing is, a guy may not *want* to be an alpha, and by his own choice. Why should everyone automatically always *want* to be an alpha? I don't particularly admire alphas, just b/c they happen to *be* alphas. Alpha, beta, and so on and so forth, are just a social caste system anyway.
Forget alpha and beta...just be yourself, already
You mean 99%. This woman happens to like the so-called "betas". They never pretend to be something they're not.
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), thats what I see in you. 
