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All I can think about is how time is ticking away and I'm completely unfulfilled and don't see any sign of this changing. She knows what I want from the relationship and I feel I've given this enough time. I'll go outside the marriage if I have to. Over time, I will have fewer inhibitions about doing so.
All I can think about is how time is ticking away and I'm completely unfulfilled and don't see any sign of this changing. She knows what I want from the relationship and I feel I've given this enough time. I'll go outside the marriage if I have to. Over time, I will have fewer inhibitions about doing so.
Gee, how honorable of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveDr
Don't see myself waiting another year or two.
If that's your mindset, nothing your wife will do will ever be enough for you. I suggest leaving her now. Why knowingly "waste" 1-2 years on a losing proposition?
All I can think about is how time is ticking away and I'm completely unfulfilled and don't see any sign of this changing. She knows what I want from the relationship and I feel I've given this enough time. I'll go outside the marriage if I have to. Over time, I will have fewer inhibitions about doing so.
Wow, at the end of the day the woman you have chosen to love for better or worse and had your child has been reduced to your pecker. Not that I'm saying she's right for not meeting you halfway with your "needs" but you are being totally selfish in this situation.
It's funny out of all of your posts, all you have focused on is your incompatible sex drive her her being a bore. If she was such a mediocre bore, why did you marry her? What have you done to help her mental desire for you?
It's a shame how some people give up so easily. You don't need to be married. Get a divorce and go have your fun. You aren't doing her any favors by hanging around for another couple of years all the while threatening to go oustide of the marriage. End it and go get your freak on.
I can only hope your child isn't scarred by your lack of strength and commitment when the going gets tough.
I don't feel satisfied with the frequency and quality of sex in the marriage and I know that my wife doesn't have it in the tank to give more. I think, over time, my likelihood of being frustrated is only going to increase. I have so much anger and resentment over the mismatched sex drives that I'm really beginning to feel that I hate my wife. The truth can be ugly at times and the truth is that I will probably only find satisfaction by going outside the marriage. I'm getting close to 40 and hate the idea that I'm losing time to have lots of fun. Life is too short.
Hey man, in some ways we're in the same boat. I'm about your age, have small children, and my wife doesn't have much interest in sex anymore either....
It happens..... Talk to any married man in your situation and I'll bet he has similar complaints.
Aside from the lack of sex, how do you get along with your wife? Do you enjoy spending time with her? Do you have good conversations? I guess my point is, don't break up your family and destroy yourself financially because you're not getting enough sex. Do you really think a single 40 year old guy is gonna score that much action?
Just take a breath, clear your head and focus on what you can do to improve your marriage.
Now, if she genuinely doesn't care that the lack of sex is driving you away, there may be deeper issues, but don't trash your whole life just because you're not getting enough action.
I asked her if this all was worth losing me over. She said NO. Time will tell how committed she is to building a better relationship. But I'm not giving it much more time.
Wow, at the end of the day the woman you have chosen to love for better or worse and had your child has been reduced to your pecker. Not that I'm saying she's right for not meeting you halfway with your "needs" but you are being totally selfish in this situation.
It's funny out of all of your posts, all you have focused on is your incompatible sex drive her her being a bore. If she was such a mediocre bore, why did you marry her? What have you done to help her mental desire for you?
It's a shame how some people give up so easily. You don't need to be married. Get a divorce and go have your fun. You aren't doing her any favors by hanging around for another couple of years all the while threatening to go oustide of the marriage. End it and go get your freak on.
I can only hope your child isn't scarred by your lack of strength and commitment when the going gets tough.
Yep, any man who thinks of his pecker more than his wife and child is selfish indeed.
I say let the skanks have him - he's not worthy of his family.
SteveDR, if you have family around and they can take the 2 yr old for a couple of days, and then plan something with the wife. Go take her to an adult store, and pick out things together. Tell her how sexy and beautiful she is.Seriously after being in mommy mode most moms feel pretty icky. One thing that helped my husband and I was that both of us worked on being kinder to eachother, me by being more intrested in his advances and him by not being such a crab when he came home(dont know what fixed wha,t but both attitude changes helped)
Yep, kids (especially 2 yo) take up a lot of their mothers' time and energy. If you want to have a nice night alone, then find a babysitter or a relative to watch your child so that you guys can talk it out without any interruptions.
Sexual incompatibilities make men selfish? Why the overt female-normalized benchmark? If she was the one with a higher sex drive it'd be his fault too for being emasculated. This is insane.
I believe in the "chit or get off the pot" method. There's a problem here. Recognize there is a problem. State the problem. Lay out alternatives to solve the problem and allow both partners to express why they feel the proposed alternatives are difficult or not difficult to attain. If the result of rehashing this process is no change at all, split. There's no point to waste your life being unhappy. If she doesn't want that much sex, and he does, and she cannot or is unwilling to provide, then she has to allow him to release with someone else or split and take her lickings too. He doesn't owe her celibacy. She got kids, so clearly celibacy wasn't a problem then. Lots of women go into man-jarring once they get that sperm. It's ridiculous.
It is important to highlight that the only thing we have to go from is the benchmark we accepted when we first got married. If the spouse changed the cartoons on ya, you dang skippy you have the right to inquire and demand change. But protracted unwillingness on the part of the changing spouse is not a reasonable outcome. If she won't play ball, it's time to go. It is for this reason that marriage is not a very genuine proposition. The gaining party has ALL the right and benefit to change their mind at any point in the marriage, and the losing party has no recourse to protect his/her livelihood from said flip. It's unreasonable to expect someone with everything to lose to accept that construct in the name of "love". Look at this poor bastard SteveDR, a prisoner in his own life. And for what? Because someone simply changed her mind. Screw that. Chit or get off the pot. This would have a much better outcome if the changing spouse would get with the program. It's OK to change your mind in life, it's not OK to hold other people hostage over it. Two way street and all that jazz....
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