What to do when you just dont want your husband sexually anymore (women, lover)
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Let me give you a hint here, there is no excuse for cheating and its never the right answer. It dishonors you and everyone around you. Saying no one was hurt or effected is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Thats like saying no one was hurt if you ass raped a 5 year old and didn't get caught. There was a victim, you were a victimizer. I get making a mistake, been there. What your talking is just plain Bllsht. What comes around goes around, you got yours coming, make no mistake.
I would not normally respond to this but your comparison between two adults having an Affair and an Assault against a child is disgusting and disturbing. Someone even using words like that, even in a comparison, should be banned.
I would not normally respond to this but your comparison between two adults having an Affair and an Assault against a child is disgusting and disturbing. Someone even using words like that, even in a comparison, should be banned.
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I didnt get that either.
Some will have affairs, but will never hurt a child.
How can they be compared to each other
Oooh LS Jaun, is this the end of our amicable relationship? I hope not.
Those are my feelings honestly. As far as religion goes, there is nothing in the bible that says you can't have sex before marriage, so I don't think I'm picking and choosing.
I think your feelings are valid, but in a marriage there are two people involved. Is it really fair to expose the other party to germs and diseases? Why not tell the other person how you feel and take the consequences?
Not at all, and I was not attacking you and like I said it is not my place to judge you. The biggest hypocrits are always the first to throw stones.
People take excerpts out of the bible to prove contradictory points all the time, so it is up to each individual to decide on what works for them. I was raised in a religious home and the hypocrisy of organized religion drove me away from it. So biblical excerpts, while interesting carry no weight to me.
The STD aspect is real and carries the most weight in the real world. Can't really argue about that other than it exist out there regardless of what kind of relationship you are in.
Simple, in either case there is a victim that cannot defend themselves be it because of age or simply lack of the knowledge that they are being victimized. The matter of degree is different but the principle remains. The acts are disgusting and so are the words. If it caught your attention then that is good and that was my intent using those words, you needed a wake up. It is never ok to victimize someone. In hindsight my words were harsh and a better man with words could have made his point without them. I spoke in ire and not well, for that I apologize.
If your husband is your best friend then you need to communicate better and find out why he is getting lazy and heavy. Leave the sex part out of the conversation and tell him you are concerned about his health. Ask him to go on a exercise plan with you were both of you eat right and walk at night after work. See what happens.
Been married 8 years. Hes a great guy. Funny,kind,supportive. Over the years he has gained weight. He knows it, complains about it, but does nothing about it. Hes always been alittle over weight but its gotten pretty bad. He does have a really cute face. Hes also kinda lazy. He has the energy to do the things he wants but does everything around the house half ass. He never is romantic, he never just touches me, unless he wants sex. Which we never have anymore. Ive gotten to the point that i dont want sex at all because i cant even think of having it with him. I do love him,hes like my best friend. I hate to hurt him, I cant even hurt his feelings and tell him. What would you do?
And no, Im not perfect but I am above average looking and I take care of myself. I even find myself getting lazier and lazier though because Im with him. It feels like the life has been sucked out of me.
Again, what would you do?
Heaven knows I'm going to get flack for this, but reverse the situation in your own mind before you talk to him.
See, unless the man has the IQ of a newt or doesn't know what a mirror is, he knows he has gotten fat. He probably also knows that's why you won't touch him. Chances are very high that what you are about to tell him will not be news to him.
So while I encourage you to talk to him, put yourself in his shoes first. What would your spouse have to say to you in that situation that would not crush you or make you feel defensive? How would your spouse have to phrase it? What kind of setting should you and your spouse be in when your spouse brings it up?
As for him not touching you unless he wants sex, has he always been that way? If so, then that's the man you married. Not every man (or woman) is demonstrably physically affectionate. Some show their love in other ways.
You may still feel like you should discuss that with him, but be aware that you would be talking out both sides of your mouth with this: On one hand, you'll be telling him you don't feel attracted to him and don't want sex with him because of his weight, but on the other you'll be telling him that you want him to touch you. That is not only a mixed message, but akin to putting your needs ahead of his in dictating the physical terms of your relationship. Basically you'll be telling him, "I want you to touch me, but not that much."
If this thread was about a husband talking about his wife who had put on weight, the thread would be three times as long with some rabid responses from the female contingent!
Get him in front of a marriage counselor (even if it's by surprise) and confront the situation head on. It could be he's a little depressed. However, if he sits there and says he isn't willing to work on this, then I would choose to move on.
Marriage - is a two-way street, for all those intent on saying "for better or worse" "til death do us part". Those phrases do not mean she has to sit there unhappy, while her husband does what he wants.
In addition, please don't waste another 10 years being unhappy or resort to "cheating". There's never an excuse for that IMO.
Marriage - is a two-way street, for all those intent on saying "for better or worse" "til death do us part". Those phrases do not mean she has to sit there unhappy, while her husband does what he wants.
"Happiness" or "unhappiness" are relative terms, and quite subjective. My point is that a married couple should not divorce for frivolous reasons. For adultery or physical abuse, yes. But just for "happiness", alone? That would seem to be a rather frivolous and fickle reason for a divorce. The wedding vows have gotta mean something, after all...
"Happiness" or "unhappiness" are relative terms, and quite subjective. My point is that a married couple should not divorce for frivolous reasons. For adultery or physical abuse, yes. But just for "happiness", alone? That would seem to be a rather frivolous and fickle reason for a divorce. The wedding vows have gotta mean something, after all...
"The pursuit of happiness" isn't a frivolous thing to most people. My point is that if one person isn't upholding their part of the vows, why should the other?
Spouses are supposed to care about each others happiness, not just their own. The couples that I have known that have made it through the worst parts of life and marriage, do so because they forge together to do so. They view themselves as a team, not me and him, but "we".
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