Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Been married 8 years. Hes a great guy. Funny,kind,supportive. Over the years he has gained weight. He knows it, complains about it, but does nothing about it. Hes always been alittle over weight but its gotten pretty bad. He does have a really cute face. Hes also kinda lazy. He has the energy to do the things he wants but does everything around the house half ass. He never is romantic, he never just touches me, unless he wants sex. Which we never have anymore. Ive gotten to the point that i dont want sex at all because i cant even think of having it with him. I do love him,hes like my best friend. I hate to hurt him, I cant even hurt his feelings and tell him. What would you do?
And no, Im not perfect but I am above average looking and I take care of myself. I even find myself getting lazier and lazier though because Im with him. It feels like the life has been sucked out of me.
Again, what would you do?
You have to talk about it, both you and he need to be honest about your feelings both about the weight issues and the lack of sex issues. If you can't talk about it, you're in trouble.
If he's serious about being unhappy with his weight, work out a plan to workout together on a regular basis. Get on board with eating healthy together. If you can deal with the issue together, the problem is half solved.
Been married 8 years. Hes a great guy. Funny,kind,supportive. Over the years he has gained weight. He knows it, complains about it, but does nothing about it. Hes always been alittle over weight but its gotten pretty bad. He does have a really cute face. Hes also kinda lazy. He has the energy to do the things he wants but does everything around the house half ass. He never is romantic, he never just touches me, unless he wants sex. Which we never have anymore. Ive gotten to the point that i dont want sex at all because i cant even think of having it with him. I do love him,hes like my best friend. I hate to hurt him, I cant even hurt his feelings and tell him. What would you do?
And no, Im not perfect but I am above average looking and I take care of myself. I even find myself getting lazier and lazier though because Im with him. It feels like the life has been sucked out of me.
Again, what would you do?
Gimme a break. My friend was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident and his wife still rides him now and again. Just get on top of your husband and ride that belly like a tsunami wave.
What are the reasons for the weight gain? Is he under a lot of stress or depressed? Is it just a lack of exercise and/or poor diet? Are there genetic issues that were handed down? Is weight the ONLY reason you don't want to have sex with him anymore? Or does it go a lot deeper than that? You sound like you like most of the other things about him.
Been married 8 years. Hes a great guy. Funny,kind,supportive. Over the years he has gained weight. He knows it, complains about it, but does nothing about it. Hes always been alittle over weight but its gotten pretty bad. He does have a really cute face. Hes also kinda lazy. He has the energy to do the things he wants but does everything around the house half ass. He never is romantic, he never just touches me, unless he wants sex. Which we never have anymore. Ive gotten to the point that i dont want sex at all because i cant even think of having it with him. I do love him,hes like my best friend. I hate to hurt him, I cant even hurt his feelings and tell him. What would you do?
And no, Im not perfect but I am above average looking and I take care of myself. I even find myself getting lazier and lazier though because Im with him. It feels like the life has been sucked out of me.
Again, what would you do?
If you're not happy anymore, you're not happy anymore. Not everyone wants to take care of a paralyzed spouse, or a spouse who became fat and unattractive. Don't feel bad about your decision, whatever that decision is. The only one who can make you happy is yourself.
If you're not happy anymore, you're not happy anymore. Not everyone wants to take care of a paralyzed spouse, or a spouse who became fat and unattractive. Don't feel bad about your decision, whatever that decision is. The only one who can make you happy is yourself.
Wow...I personally find this lackadaisical, cavalier attitude toward marriage to be extremely upsetting, disagreeable, and uncharitable.
When 2 people marry, they say certain solemn vows, in making a loving commitment and a bond, to each other -- like "for better or for worse", "in sickness and in health", "for richer or for poorer", and "till death do us part".
Nowhere does it say, that if a person happens to be merely "unhappy" with their spouse, that they have a green light to casually and arbitrarily end what is supposed to be a permanent bond of love and fidelity.
Views like the one expressed above, are one major reason why marriage means so much less today, than it used to...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-05-2011 at 11:21 AM..
If his actions are causing you distress, either directly, or indirectly, then you have to tell him.
You have to give him the chance to change the situation.
Sure, it might hurt his feelings a bit, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
Just be tactful, and if he goes in a mood, let him, then talk to him rationally and calmly when he calms down, and explain fully what your problem is,without getting personal.
Been married 8 years. Hes a great guy. Funny,kind,supportive. Over the years he has gained weight. He knows it, complains about it, but does nothing about it. Hes always been alittle over weight but its gotten pretty bad. He does have a really cute face. Hes also kinda lazy. He has the energy to do the things he wants but does everything around the house half ass. He never is romantic, he never just touches me, unless he wants sex. Which we never have anymore. Ive gotten to the point that i dont want sex at all because i cant even think of having it with him. I do love him,hes like my best friend. I hate to hurt him, I cant even hurt his feelings and tell him. What would you do?
And no, Im not perfect but I am above average looking and I take care of myself. I even find myself getting lazier and lazier though because Im with him. It feels like the life has been sucked out of me.
Again, what would you do?
I've been where he is. I was married to a woman that I loved very much. For the first 8 years, life was great. After our 8th anniversary, things changed. Even with only having sex 2 or 3 times a year, I still stuck it out for another 20 years. Then, she got a divorce from me, and when the divorce was final, she married a guy that spent nearly 10 years in prison in KY for 5 counts of sodomy with his own 6 year-old son. Guess she wasn't worth what I thought she was.
I would suggest your husband get as far away from you as he can, as soon as he can.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
