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If you are looking for a mail-order bride/mother-of-your-children or a simple egg donor - then sure - having this list of requirements is great. If you are actually looking to create a family based on love - then having a list like that is... well, stupid.
I knew my husband would make a good father early on in our relationship. He also talked about wanting kids before I did (he was also ready to have kids before I was). Was this attractive to me? Yes. But it wasn't because of his height, his skin, his degree, etc. - it was because of who he was as a person. I fell in love with HIM and I wanted to have children with HIM because I love HIM.
You sound like you are looking for an egg donor - not a wife.
"You sound like you are looking for an egg donor - not a wife"
Not at all. If you look at the typical dating site you will find woman looking for men that have a job, a car, not living with parents, not having 3 baby mamas, and all sorts of things that I find reprehensible. I'm Attractive, Athletic, Bright, degreed and I'm financially stable and I would want the same in a spouse, not too hard to believe in my book.
You also find a lot of bitter men complaining about their ex wife’s or looking for a 20 yo at my age. I have none of those qualities. I adore woman, preferably in their 30s. I have no bitter feeling about any woman in my past and I have no baby mamas.
So why is it so unusual to actually plan for a family starting with someone that fits your ideals and give them the best chance at success that you can give them. Why couldn't I fall in Love and Marry someone who is close to the "Guidelines" I pointed out. They’re really not that high and I assure you I am not a robot..beep beep beep!
You: Ex-collegiate volleyball player, between 5'8-6'0, drop dead butter melt in my mouth gorgeous, athletic but not bulky, olive toned skin, baby blue eyes (or willingness to get pigment changed), 4-year degree obtained in 4-years and preferably a Masters or PHD (but this is negotiable), impeccible family pedigree dating back 300 years with full paperwork provided (it helps if your family came over on the Mayflower), not less than 34B- not more than 38C, willing for you and all your current family members & relations & friends to be tested for drugs/alchohol/diseases/pyscological issues, must be 100% totally subserviant to my every whim.
Job Duties: Marry me and bear my (yes, I said MY) children. I shall raise them to be perfect. I'll look in on you in your room from time to time.
Post a photo of yourself sometime. I want to see what perfection looks like.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry...couldn't rep you again.
Um, yeah...I think I would consider the characteristics of my future mate, but I think most women do. Mostly it's about being smart than anything else (for me at least).
What I want for my kids is potential and opportunity. I'll give them the opportunity...be nice if they were born with the potential.
When I'm in a relationship, and it seems to have potential for actually going somewhere, versus just a flash in the pan, short-lived thing, I mentally note what type of parent I could foresee the guy being in the future, if it were to hypothetically come to that... if he exhibits habits and behaviors that seem to be conducive to being a responsible parent, if I'd be comfortable with him teaching by example, if there are any red flags that make me think, "Wow, not sure he's really parenting material, and while that may not matter right now, how will I feel about it in the long run? Is it a matter of maturity, or is it just basic personality traits, etc."
Although it's not something I bring up in dating, it's something that will come out in conversation.
"I would like children at some point in my life" At my age I'm starting to think about it. It may never happen but I'm at a point where I'm secure enough to be thinking about it.
For the critics, Instead of being critical about my selection process, tell me how you chose your mate? If you just fell in love with him/her regardless of looks say so. I'm sure some people out there have some sort of selection criteria? Or does everyone rely on luck?
I'm getting a little older, late 30's, and my mind often wonders to thoughts of why I should or should not get married. The only reason that comes up at all is to have Children. There are plenty of woman Ive met that fit the bill as far as attractiveness and the ability to get along with.
If I was to choose a mate it would most likely have to be someone that would produce kids who would have every physical, emotional, and intellectual advantange possible based on my genetic make up combined with my potential mate. I'm not talking about producing a super kid, I would just want my children to have every advantage in life possible.
So in my case I would want my potential mate to be as tall as me but not taller than me 5'8"-6.0" would work. Attractive. Athletic but not bulky. I'm thinking volley ball player in college. In their 30s. Good skin: darker pigment, light color eyes. At least a 4 year degree and completed it in a timely manner. Makes close to what I make. No family history of early diseases, abuse or drug addiction or other pyscological disorders.
Am I being unrealistic? I fit that description on the male side so would finding a mate that fits it on the female side be unrealistic? Would this turn woman off if they saw this requirement on a dating site?
Intelligence level and family history are the two you should strongly consider to be sure you give your kids the best genes possible.
But when you start talking height, physical prowess and skin pigment (!) you're getting WAY too picky.
"I would like children at some point in my life" At my age I'm starting to think about it. It may never happen but I'm at a point where I'm secure enough to be thinking about it.
For the critics, Instead of being critical about my selection process, tell me how you chose your mate? If you just fell in love with him/her regardless of looks say so. I'm sure some people out there have some sort of selection criteria? Or does everyone rely on luck?
I'm not as old as you. I'm 29 and I'm starting to think about it. lol.
So why is it so unusual to actually plan for a family starting with someone that fits your ideals and give them the best chance at success that you can give them.
That's fine, but your list is a bit too specific.
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