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But here's the problem: If he's shy, chances are he won't ask you out. But women(in general) prefer the men to do the pursuing and the courting.
The shy guy may only do this process a few times in his life, if that, because he's just too shy.
If you want the shy type of man, the women need to do some pursuing before he will come around.
It's not true that they won't ask you out--it will just take longer, and as you said, she'll have to do some pursuing and send plenty of signals. And as I stated in a previous thread, sometimes she can get fooled and think he's shy, when in fact he's just not interested. However, what many forget is that once a woman starts going out with a shy man, he won't stay shy for long once he gets to know her. I've seen shy people open up and once they do, I can't get in a word edgewise and those discussions that I've been craving come flying out and none of them had problems shaking my father's hand and looking him in the eye--their shyness was of women.
I've never met a very attractive guy that was shy, which is great for me because I do better with the outgoing and assertive types.
In all fairness, studies show more attractive people are less likely to be shy. Doesn't mean an attractive person is automatically extroverted. I'm not extroverted, but I also went through an awkward stage.
It's not true that they won't ask you out--it will just take longer, and as you said, she'll have to do some pursuing and send plenty of signals. And as I stated in a previous thread, sometimes she can get fooled and think he's shy, when in fact he's just not interested. However, what many forget is that once a woman starts going out with a shy man, he won't stay shy for long once he gets to know her. I've seen shy people open up and once they do, I can't get in a word edgewise and those discussions that I've been craving come flying out and none of them had problems shaking my father's hand and looking him in the eye--their shyness was of women.
That's what I was implying. Women will have to pursue this guy and make it almost obvious to him that she likes him before he asks her out. Typically, they are not that shy once you get to know them, they are shy of the initial dating experience, including the idea that they might get rejected when he asks her out.
He won't get anywhere. An attractive guy can afford to be shy.
that is not neccessarilly true...there are women that expect to be approached and they will not approach a man and sometimes the guys looks would make the situation more intimidating for the woman.
that is not neccessarilly true...there are women that expect to be approached and they will not approach a man and sometimes the guys looks would make the situation more intimidating for the woman.
I'm shy, but it hasn't stopped me from being flirted with. Even at times when I didn't go out of my way to say anything more than hello, I was still flirted with, sometimes very blatantly.
That's the problem. I need to see mutual interest so if he clams up, won't really talk to me but is chatty & friendly with other girls, then why should I believe he likes me? Sometimes shy guys play games or like super aggressive women (his ex). He's good looking so he attracts women but he just wants the woman to initiate which comes off more as being lazy to me.
I met him through a mutual friend and he always gets her to invite me to parties, etc... He even shouts in the background to me while I'm on the phone with her as she's inviting, yet he won't talk directly to me!
Ugh, long story, but it's aggravating. He needs to meet me halfway or this won't work. This is just the getting to know you stage, so if I don't feel a connection there is no incentive to ask him out.
I believe that some clam up or cannot be their good selves with the person THAT MATTERS , esp face-to-face He can be braver behind his friend of via the phone/email.
seems like women usually have no idea what's going on in a shy guys head... you usually have to ask him pretty directly and he will probably be honest since most people are so self centered these days. I've always been very introverted myself, that can be confused with shy-ness because I talk very little and talk very little with people I do not know. [Unless I've been drinking ;]
A shy guy isn't afraid, isn't necessarily a huge *****, maybe its more like fear of rejection which usually takes awhile to get past. A guy that spends his life not confronting fear will be doomed to always be its b*tch, plain and simple, and it takes years to find a way around that if the fear isn't conquered right away.
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He can be braver behind his friend of via the phone/email.
