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Maybe this is why that "look" is so rare these days - because when men try to use it they're labeled as creeps or perverts or players.
Sure, a player has the "look" down pat - and what does he do with it? He wastes it on a one-night stand! The creep uses the "look" to lure you into exposing more skin for him. The pervert uses the "look" to get you into that special pit in his basement.
And you wonder why the "look" is endangered? I give it to you, you call me a creep, I slither away leaving a slime trail behind me ... and then you CHANGE YOUR MIND and start batting your eyes at me!
I actually don't think the "look" is extinct - it just morphs into that stunned-cow "look" that men get when they've experienced too many femme fatal flip-flops like this.
Maybe this is why that "look" is so rare these days - because when men try to use it they're labeled as creeps or perverts or players.
...
I agree with this slightly but I think the key is to couple the 'look' with actual conversation.
Think of it like this: someone is looking at you but says nothing. My initial reaction is, "What?" as in, "What do you want?" or "Why are you looking at me?" It is important to have an opening statement like, "Hello, you look nice today" or something to that effect. Otherwise, giving the 'look' is interpreted as just staring and that is unsettling.
[I think this applies to both strangers and those with whom we are already familiar or intimate]
I agree with this slightly but I think the key is to couple the 'look' with actual conversation.
Think of it like this: someone is looking at you but says nothing. My initial reaction is, "What?" as in, "What do you want?" or "Why are you looking at me?" It is important to have an opening statement like, "Hello, you look nice today" or something to that effect. Otherwise, giving the 'look' is interpreted as just staring and that is unsettling.
[I think this applies to both strangers and those with whom we are already familiar or intimate]
Ah, but what is the duration of a look? European or American?
Certainly the Look needs to be combined with other actions - conversation, physical closeness, the ritual displaying of the thickness of the wallet - before it can be considered effective. And no, the Look isn't held as long as a stare - it barely qualifies as a Glance. It only takes as long as the time involved in tossing her hair or raising her glass to her lips.
It's one of those moments that last forever, if you want to get all yucky-poo about it.
Maybe this is why that "look" is so rare these days - because when men try to use it they're labeled as creeps or perverts or players.
That's only the case when it's too early on. But then, I don't agree with the idea that players do better with women because they offer up this "look". I think communicating only sexual desire through a look as the first move will turn most women off, unless they themselves are just looking for a fling. I think there are definitely ways a guy can communicate interest/attraction through looks & words without seeming too forward or like a creep though.
I think the importance of looking at someone to communicate desire is more relevant when you're already dating someone, not when they're a stranger. While women may like to feel desired sexually, they also like to feel respected & liked for who they are. So this probably works better when you've already established the latter.
I think this is probably most important in a long term relationship that has been going for some time; making sure the other person knows they are still desired.
That's only the case when it's too early on. But then, I don't agree with the idea that players do better with women because they offer up this "look". I think communicating only sexual desire through a look as the first move will turn most women off, unless they themselves are just looking for a fling. I think there are definitely ways a guy can communicate interest/attraction through looks & words without seeming too forward or like a creep though.
But therein lies a possible problem: by your own words it would be alright to use The Look as a first offensive weapon when neither party has any higher expectation than a night of sex.
If so, what kind of percentage of the total relationship number are we looking at? How many singles use The Look, as opposed to how many already in a relationship (I'm stretching the definition of both "single" and "relationship" - hopefully you'll understand)? Certainly in your method the intent would be different in each case.
And that brings me to a second point - conveying intent with The Look. It can be done with so many more purposes than just raw sex, and I wonder if that's where you're going with your statement. Changing the intent behind The Look changes The Look itself and the effect it has on its prey.
And finally, although there may be many, many jackals out there that proclaim to be players, I doubt that more than a small handful of them are skilled technicians; rather, they use the common Raw Numbers Approach - the more times at bat, the more hits.
Philistines the lot of 'em.
Overall, you have a very interesting way of looking at The Look - thank you for the lesson.
Most people wait until after they're done to post about it, but that's cool.
Hey women are supposed to be good at multi-tasking.
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