Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It’s a bit silly to say that women DON’T like men to ask them out when women seem to prefer men to take the initiative, do the asking, pay, etc. We can’t deny that. It’s like telling women “You complain about cooking a meal or two and washing dishes? Then don’t get married”.
You misread. I said that if women are unhappy that men aren't asking them on dates, they should ask men instead. Just like if men are unhappy about paying for dates, they should stop asking women to go out with them and wait to be asked instead.
If people are unhappy with the result of their current behavior, they should change their behavior to get a different result, rather than complain about everyone else.
Being polite is meaning it. It’s like me asking an old lady if she needs help crossing the street and then get all insulted because she did accept my offer. Why did I offer in the first place if I didn’t mean it?
We could also say that women are stingy for not wanting to pay for their meals and entertainment. How would you take it if men told women to stop complaining and just wash the darn dishes? Or if they said that is a woman’s job. Wouldn’t that be terrible? Or is that all of a sudden “different”?
The poll still shows that most people expect/demand men to pay for a women’s meals, entertainment, etc.
It’s a bit silly to say that women DON’T like men to ask them out when women seem to prefer men to take the initiative, do the asking, pay, etc. We can’t deny that. It’s like telling women “You complain about cooking a meal or two and washing dishes? Then don’t get married”.
I'm not one of those people who agree with gender roles only when it's to an advantage for them. Had I been born a man, I would feel the same exact way. I have brothers and would feel the same way if they didn't pay for their first dates. If I adhere to gender roles, I would do it to the full extent. So would I feel terrible if a guy told me it's my job to wash the dishes? Not if I expected him to be the breadwinner and pay for dates, because I should follow the same principle. It would be nice if he offered to wash the dishes or did it every once in a while, but I wouldn't expect him to.
And it's not just because the women are being old fashioned or shy. Men are not only motivated by romance, but a good number of men are asking the women out solely for the purpose of sex without any desire for a long term romantic relationship
I agree but there are also women who are not looking for a relationship at all and just a free meal and entertainment. Believe it or not, women, just like men, can be villains too.
Quote:
And if I really like a guy, I would let him pay for that first date, but for any dates afterwards, I would want to contribute to them. And surprisingly, there are still a lot of very traditional men around who insist sincerely that they want to pick up the tab.
Sure, there are men like that. Also women who insist on sincerely taking care of the cooking, dishes, ironing clothes, brooming, etc. because they feel it is a "woman's job" To each, their own.
Since when is cooking and washing dishes always associated with women?
Must you group tasks by gender?
I would ask the same, since when is paying for your meals, entertainment, etc. is associated with men? Women are the ones who play these gender cards when it suits them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I said that if women are unhappy that men aren't asking them on dates, they should ask men instead
Which just won’t happen. We see it over and over again from different threads. At the most, women might agree that it would be nice to ask a guy out but they just won’t. We’re still far from saying that women ask men as often as men ask women out. The ones that do are just exceptions or from other non-western cultures.
Quote:
Just like if men are unhappy about paying for dates, they should stop asking women to go out with them and wait to be asked instead
Which is unreal. Women asking men out is still not your everyday thing.
Look at the votes in this thread.
Quote:
If people are unhappy with the result of their current behavior, they should change their behavior to get a different result, rather than complain about everyone else.
Or date non-western women maybe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx
If I adhere to gender roles, I would do it to the full extent
Something not many women do. Sure, they will post the things you see in this thread and many others that talk about how men should pay, open their door, take the initiative, how bad it is for men to use coupons, how bad it is for men to live with their parents, to not have a job, to not have a car, etc. but when you tell them about being in the kitchen, they complain about how sexist that is. A bit ironic really when it is them who talk about how a man should do this and that for them because “that is tradition so men have to suck it up and just be men.”
Quote:
So would I feel terrible if a guy told me it's my job to wash the dishes? Not if I expected him to be the breadwinner and pay for dates, because I should follow the same principle. It would be nice if he offered to wash the dishes or did it every once in a while, but I wouldn't expect him to.
There you go. Then I guess you do believe in gender roles and not cherry pick. You want a man to pay for your meals, pay for entertainment, open your door, etc. Ok. You seem to be fine about being the one who washes dishes, iron his shirts, dust off the furniture, etc. Hey, go for it.
I find this interesting from women as many feel completely insulted if a man accepts. Then I ask, why be fake and offer if you don’t mean it?
I don't know who you are referring to as fake. I meant what I said, 100%, and I do follow through.
And please show evidence where "many" women feel insulted if a man accepts splitting the check.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
I would ask the same, since when is paying for your meals, entertainment, etc. is associated with men? Women are the ones who play these gender cards when it suits them.
The only one who is playing this "gender card" is yourself. I never associated paying for meals with men, that was all you.
I have asked out many women and been asked out by several, I've paid the check, been treated, and gone dutch on the first date.
None of these factors matter. Both persons on the date are there to get to know someone. Both persons know nothing or close to nothing about the other person. Both persons are equal and should be treated equally.
Exactly. If I invited the guy, then I'm paying for the date. And I don't mind going out with him again.
What if the guy invited, would you still offer?
Quote:
Evidence?
Past threads. There was even one titled something like “Would you go out with a guy who used coupons?” not so long ago. Other threads about how wrong is for men to not have a car, live with the parents, not work, not pay, not take the initiative, etc. These threads come and go and women pretty much agree to the same thing. Google it too, you’ll see the same from women in general. Heck, just look at the poll in this thread.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
