Out of Circulation for a Critical Ten Years (dating, wife, how to)

[WhyShouldIWorry]

Before I left, women hated me because I was not one of the type (alpha, players, womanizers, jocks or scions of the wealthy) that such a large percentage of young women fervently believe that they deserve.

When I returned, I encountered hostility because I was a single guy "evading" my responsibility to make some needy woman into a lucky one. Happy single guys who have it together and are involved in their community are often resented for putting their efforts into something that benefits everyone rather than just one.

What happened? Did the princesses settle? Were other reluctant men forced into marrying women that they had little interest in?

Do other men in my circumstance just lie about their history? After all, women are far more likely to give a divorced man a pass, since he's obviously been vetted by at least one woman. Such men remarry easily.

[Gudra]

I would be somewhat wary of a divorced man. Where I come from, a man who splits from his wife 's not considered a catch. Sure sometimes it wasn't his fault the marriage broke down but .. I mean, sure his wife could have been a witch but what was he doing with one and did his mother not teach him how to spot wicked women ? Or was she one herself so he thought bit*chiness was the norm? I have a pretty good BIT*HOMETER (hey, you heard it here firstmyself and I think other women do ,too -the mums of SONS included(they would likely have even more experience with men compared to me).

Such'''vetted'' men are not a red flag but rather an amber one..

[CaliTerp07]

I think you're overanalyzing the situation. Who told you you are "evading your responsibility to make a needy woman happy"?

Honestly, sounds like you aren't finding what you want so you're trying to come up with excuses...

[Shankapotomus]

Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry

Before I left,

Where did you go and why?

Edit: Oh wait...Nevermind.

When I feel I'm getting negative static from the people around me, I usually try to politely avoid them.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by CaliTerp07

I think you're overanalyzing the situation. Who told you you are "evading your responsibility to make a needy woman happy"?

Honestly, sounds like you aren't finding what you want so you're trying to come up with excuses...

That's what it sounds like to me, too.

[h886]

I don't really understand the point you're making here. Are you saying you're unhappy now because women don't want to date you? Or they do and you don't want them?

The first two paragraphs make me wonder if you have some misconceptions about women in general. Sure, there are some women out there who want everything you listed, just like there are some men who only want women with a D-cup chest, an 18-inch waist, blonde hair and no opinions of their own. But there are plenty of regular women and men out there too.

I'm not sure that many people (men or women) get a "pass" in dating. I would think personal preference would make a difference as to whether it's a bigger red flag to be divorced (maybe he abandoned his wife) or to have gone for so many years without marrying (maybe he's not the marrying type.)

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry

Before I left, women hated me because I was not one of the type (alpha, players, womanizers, jocks or scions of the wealthy) that such a large percentage of young women fervently believe that they deserve.

Women hated you for this, really? They said, "I hate you" for not being X, Y, Z?

Sounds more likely that they avoided you, probably because you demonstrated such a low opinion of their gender.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry

Before I left, women hated me because I was not one of the type (alpha, players, womanizers, jocks or scions of the wealthy) that such a large percentage of young women fervently believe that they deserve.

When I returned, I encountered hostility because I was a single guy "evading" my responsibility to make some needy woman into a lucky one. Happy single guys who have it together and are involved in their community are often resented for putting their efforts into something that benefits everyone rather than just one.

What happened? Did the princesses settle? Were other reluctant men forced into marrying women that they had little interest in?

Do other men in my circumstance just lie about their history? After all, women are far more likely to give a divorced man a pass, since he's obviously been vetted by at least one woman. Such men remarry easily.

Honestly you come off as bitter, angry and accusatory. Before women didn't like you, and now women don't like you.

I guess I'm lucky, I don't run into a lot of men like you, or the women you describe. In general I'm not tolerant of bad attitutudes, so when I do I stay very, very far away.

[NotARedneck]

If you were like me, you were probably "out of circulation" from the time that you bought your house until you had it paid off. Those few years change everything. For a period during those years, I didn't own a car but it sure paid off in the end.

When you are saving to buy you are cheap. When you own it, you are selfish for not sharing.

Console yourself with the fact that it's simpleton fundamentalist religious types and loser divorcees who disapprove of your singleness. Other married men envy you and divorced men hope that you'll trip over your shoelaces, like they did, so they can gloat. Successfully married women now know that you are a good catch, which is why other women passed you up years earlier.

[Checkered24]

You just have not found the woman who is the right match for you. Try not to put all women of a certain age into the same box, and just keep looking.

It sounds like you feel you are meeting women who are too judgemental for your life decisions. That means they are not right for you.

Best of luck! I know it is difficult! (I went 10 years between dating after being discouraged and concentrating on my own career and education, but have been blessed with a wonderful woman who is amazingly compatable with myself).