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but it's undeniable that part of the reason married at 30 is more successful than married at 22 is because of knowing who you are and what is really important to you.
Even though compatibility is also important, I definitely think that being happily married has more to do with both people just being able to be in a relationship as opposed to the specific choice of a partner.
It's both, but I think it's the choice of partner that's more important, especially compatibility with respect to having similar financial values. It's a lot easier for a marriage when the 2 are very compatible from the get-go.
Why should you go out with someone else if you already found the one?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes
So a co-worker of mine, K who just turned 31 has been with her husband since high school. They began dating in 1996, went to the same college, never broke up and got married 4 years ago. They seem really happy. I also know another couple in their mid 30's wo'd been together since high school and seem very happy and have a beautiful family.
I never had any desire to marry a high school sweetheart and wanted the experience of dating others in my 20s. But it made me wonder what it must be like to have found your meant-to-be true love at 16 and never having to date or experience anyone else? Also, by doing so, she has avoided all the pitfalls and head f*ckovers of casual dating (which caused more emotional baggage than I care to admit).
When I think of all the BS I dealt with while single or from broken relationships, while I'm sure it made me stronger, I wonder what its like to have never experienced that. Never had a broken heart, never been dumped. Never been sexually used or rejected. Never had a guy tell you what you wanted then never call again or sleep with you then lose interest. Never went through the years of stress, aggravation, rejection and hurt feelings that contributed to years of depression and baggage. Would I be a much happier person today?
I wonder if that is why she's such a perky, happy person. Can you imagine never having been through any dating crap? Ever?
Divorce rates are lower for those marrying later b/c you know yourself better at 30 than at 22. Also, those who marry later tend to be the college educated and the college educated also have lower divorce rates. Furthermore, those who marry later are more financially stable.
Thx for your thoughts; very interesting...
Do the same statistical trends hold true though, if say a 30 year old were to marry a 22 year-old? Could that potentially join, the best of both worlds?
I agree that most people shouldn't marry until 30 or thereabouts. Though I was with my BF since 16, we didn't marry till we were 29. People change more between the ages of 20-30 and I wanted to make sure we grew together and not apart before getting married.
This article discusses reasons why people who marry very young don't do as well.
Thank you, but truth be told, I don't care for any of those articles as my own empirical evidence is more important to me. What some statistical person in the South does who has no similarity to me whatsoever is of little reference to me. All my friends who married their college sweethearts are still happily married. I just wish I had the same fate.
This article discusses reasons why people who marry very young don't do as well.
Extremely fascinating; thx for sharing!
One neat point excerpted from the article, which I would have otherwise assumed to be the opposite, had I not known:
Quote:
Southerners are more likely to divorce than Northeastern residents, according to the Barna Group, a religious think tank in California. According to the group, only 19 percent of those who marry in the Northeast get divorced. The figure for the south is 27 percent, the same as the Midwest.
The National Center for Health Statistics says that Massachusetts had the lowest divorce rate. The other states that follow are also in the Northeast: Connecticut, New Jersey, Rhode Island, New York and Pennsylvania. The states with the highest divorce rates include Nevada, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Wyoming.
I never had any desire to marry a high school sweetheart and wanted the experience of dating others in my 20s. But it made me wonder what it must be like to have found your meant-to-be true love at 16 and never having to date or experience anyone else? Also, by doing so, she has avoided all the pitfalls and head f*ckovers of casual dating (which caused more emotional baggage than I care to admit).
When I think of all the BS I dealt with while single or from broken relationships, while I'm sure it made me stronger, I wonder what its like to have never experienced that. Never had a broken heart, never been dumped. Never been sexually used or rejected. Never had a guy tell you what you wanted then never call again or sleep with you then lose interest. Never went through the years of stress, aggravation, rejection and hurt feelings that contributed to years of depression and baggage. Would I be a much happier person today?
?
I don't get this, don't females know by now not to just sleep with a guy quickly. They know, and do it anyway, and then cry about the heart ache.
on topic, it would be nice to not deal with the baggage. The older I get the more baggage I seem to have and the more I keep myself distant from that "special" someone. However its not that easy. I could have stayed with someone in the beginning but I needed to go out and meet other girls, otherwise with no comparison I would not have been happy in the long run. Hindsight is 20 20 and maybe I should have stayed with her, but I'm not dwelling on it.
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