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There's someone for whom I feel what I think is true unconditional love at times. It feels good to love him. However when I think of HIM feeling that way about me or if I had to decide whether or not to be in a relationship with him, I'm very wishy washy. One minute it sounds so great. But the next minute, I don't want any of it.
This might be why I decided a long time ago (subconsciously) that it's not what I want. But that's weird right? To love someone and sometimes have ideas of how great it could be... but not actually want to go through with it?
Whereas there's this other guy I'm dating, who I would love to be in a relationship with. It makes sense.
The other guy - I feel like I love him and care very much about him but it doesn't make sense. It is foreign to me and bold and shaky. Although I think he's great and has a lovely personality and is attractive too. I think I wanted him and then didn't want him about 2 billion times over the past year. I also almost ran into him twice but dodged him.
What might be going on here? I'm so hot and cold about it.
Last edited by sydney1987; 07-29-2011 at 09:08 PM..
It could mean that you want a relationship with this man but not a traditional one. Maybe you just want to love him from afar? From a "safe" distance that won't generate too many ripples in either one of your lives. You can love someone deeply while knowing it doesn't presently work logistically or compatibility wise.
The first you want but scared to commit, second one it's a candy bar....you want it, crave it...then have it....then are tired of it.....then cravings come back.
The first you want but scared to commit, second one it's a candy bar....you want it, crave it...then have it....then are tired of it.....then cravings come back.
Wait a second there Raena! What kind of candy bar are we talking about here?
It could mean that you want a relationship with this man but not a traditional one. Maybe you just want to love him from afar? From a "safe" distance that won't generate too many ripples in either one of your lives. You can love someone deeply while knowing it doesn't presently work logistically or compatibility wise.
thanks... I've never thought of it like this before. The guy I'm dating now, I'm pretty sure he's looking for something long term. He wants to settle down soon, he's not the game playing type or the type who is into short term relationships or physical affairs.
It's just a weird time... as I'm getting to know this guy (which feels so real and grounded and logically probable), I'm honestly starting to not want the other person who was previously so much on my mind... Lately it's been a 360 degree shift. Although it makes me smile to think of him most of the time when I think of him. And I'm really glad that I got to feel so much positive emotion for him. I hope he's doing well and finds someone great for him, is happy in life.
I thought I'd be sad about it. But it's just love for him but apathy regarding anything coming from it. I used to be really stupid and actually thought it could go somewhere but then it felt like too much and I couldn't breathe. It's just too much. I need sane, grounded, logical, dependable, trustworthy, gets along with my family, separate but sharing our lives with each other kind of relationship. Not one of dependency where two people are just worlds apart and I'm always trying to play catch up. Hmm.
Perhaps you are not apathetic at all but are willing pushing any idea of the first guy out of your head because YOU cannot see it and it does not make sense...
This guy you are dating...he makes sense, he is "safe" he gets along well with fam, he is dependable and it seems logical...he is the safe choice..because your gut tells you when the chips are down you will most likely be able to depnd on him...
with this other guy, he may be lofty, touchand go, impulsive and even though he entices you because you like this and alot more about him you are worried about the longetivity of the relationship..If he is true blue or just the "kive in the moment and worry about the future later" type of guy..
Honestly...you already know the answer...
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