Do you have this type of person in your life? (long-term, woman)
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My high school GF, she basically broke my heart..... It took a couple yrs to get over her.
She changed me in a lot of ways.... I didn't realize it til just a few yrs ago.... This was 22 yrs ago mind you.
She caused me to hold back a little piece of myself with every subsequent woman, nothing major... just I notice it now, I didn't realize it then.
She contacted me a few months ago on FB, and you know what.... I realize that I'm 100 percent over her... which I should be.. its been 22 damn yrs....
So no... to answer your question I don't have someone that I pine for.. or someone that is the "one", I have Mrs. Chow right now.... IDK, maybe she's the "one" that I pine for.
Except, I don't want us to break up for me to find that out.
You and Mrs. Chow are very lucky to have each other.
I've only ever really been in love with one girl, and still am. She broke up with me three years ago, still haven't forgotten about her, even after going out with around 30 girls since then. When we first met, I didn't really think she was that attractive (she's certainly not ugly, but not the prettiest girl I've ever dated, either), but literally after a couple hours of talking to her I knew I was in love. I completely f'd up that relationship in all ways, did everything wrong, and regret every mistake I made at least once a week.
It would be incredibly comical if it wasn't ridiculously pathetic.
It's not pathetic if this relationship was a learning curve for you when it comes to next relationships.
It's not pathetic if this relationship was a learning curve for you when it comes to next relationships.
The biggest lesson I learned was that attraction isn't 100% physical. I was attracted to her enough to talk to her, which in turn led to our relationship. What's weird is how hot I thought she is/was, even though objectively I realize she wasn't as pretty as other women, if that makes any sense.
Funnily enough, I went out with a girl shortly after we broke up who was hot, but completely not my type...Bohemian hipster. She was a hell of a lot of fun and I really enjoyed hanging out with her. She ended up moving to Seattle and that ended our relationship, but another lesson learned: "type" is a bunch of crap. If you have fun and like to be together, that's what matters.
The biggest lesson I learned was that attraction isn't 100% physical. I was attracted to her enough to talk to her, which in turn led to our relationship. What's weird is how hot I thought she is/was, even though objectively I realize she wasn't as pretty as other women, if that makes any sense.
Funnily enough, I went out with a girl shortly after we broke up who was hot, but completely not my type...Bohemian hipster. She was a hell of a lot of fun and I really enjoyed hanging out with her. She ended up moving to Seattle and that ended our relationship, but another lesson learned: "type" is a bunch of crap. If you have fun and like to be together, that's what matters.
It's interesting to me that the person you fell in love with and seemingly still love is the one who wasn't initially your type at all and you didn't even initially find her attractive. I guess mental stimulation is just important for men as it is for women, if we are talking long term relationships.
It's interesting to me that the person you fell in love with and seemingly still love is the one who wasn't initially your type at all and you didn't even initially find her attractive. I guess mental stimulation is just important for men as it is for women, if we are talking long term relationships.
You guess..? There's only so many times in a day you can have sex; what are you going to do the other waking hours? I cannot tolerate being around most women because they're so annoying immature and needy. That girl was none of those things. I never even had sex with her. How I met her is funny...my band played a party, she was there with her roommate. I hit on the roommate, talked to this girl to find out more about the roomie. She turned out to be much more intelligent and interesting, she asked me to go get breakfast with her (it was around 5AM), I said okay. Called her the next day and we went out a couple days later when she wasn't working (RN, so she had weird hours). I was wearing shorts and hat, no shirt, when we met, smelled like whiskey and BO. She was dressed extremely well. For whatever reason, she saw past the whole stupid musician image I was projecting and actually talked to me like a normal person.
I really hate thinking about this, to be perfectly honest, because I know if I had played it cool we'd probably be married. Instead, acted like a moron. C'est la vie.
Today I had re-connected with my high school history teacher. He was really one of the best teachers I have ever had and I was extremely excited to find him on FB.
We got to have a conversation about what we have been doing for the past 14 years of our lives and he told me this very interesting story. In a nutshell, he lives on the other part of the world now. Years ago, he was in a relationship with the woman that broke his heart. Due to this heartbreak, he ended up traveling the world and settling in the 3rd world country. He is very happy with the way things turned out and loves his life, however, he said that he will ALWAYS love that woman who broke his heart. He is still friends with her and he doesn't hold grudges and he said that his love for her is like landscape, will always be there. Even when he falls in love with someone else, she will have a part of his heart.
It got me thinking. I don't have that type of person from my past. All my previous relationships just weren't deep enough for me to hold that love. I have warm feelings towards most of my exs, but no everlasting love. I suppose that if my husband and I separated, I would have that love for him.
Can you relate to my history teacher? Do you have that type of person in your life that you will always continue loving even if you are not together?
There is some lingering feelings for several of those I've liked in the past, but this is mostly an emotional obstacle imo...
There was a girl I hooked up with a for a short while back in 2009, whom I fell for really fast, faster than I have for anyone before or after, and got completely captivated with. I still feel like I'm on fire whenever I meet her, which I happen to do every now and then...
It's not that I'm obsessed with her or anything(might have been back then), because I've had several other love-interests since, but when I come to think of her or meet her on the street the feelings are there again.
Can you relate to my history teacher? Do you have that type of person in your life that you will always continue loving even if you are not together?
While no other love trumps my husband, which is on a different level all together, I can say yes to this question. But, it's not based on who I am now, but the girl I was then. We were together when I was 18-20ish. It was a passionate, rocky romance and we're tied via a pregnancy/miscarriage. That was difficult to deal with. He's married now as well and I hear from him from time to time. We both agree that it's good that we didn't stay together. Like your old history teacher, my life would be very different if it worked out. I suppose that's the case for any of us. He said as much a couple of weeks ago. In that I wouldn't have accomplished or done half the things I have thus far if I stayed with him. It's true, we're living two completely different lives.
Either way, it was young love. He was very beautiful; strikingly so. The kind of beauty that would stop people in their tracks and it was difficult to be in a relationship with that. He was a tortured soul to boot and an amazing poet. Our arguments would lead to me bolting across the country with him chasing after lol. All very dramatic.
Yes, for one my life would have been much different than it is now if I had gotten together with her. She'd come back into my life for time to time, but she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. There was one huge betrayal that really caught me off guard but I recovered and that's life. It was a good experience, gave me perspective of dealing with people and other things to come in the future.
Yes. I was going thru some traumatic changes in my life, and someone I had been BF with forever came home one day and his wife had - left him. Dumped him like a truckload of rock. Well, we sorta needed each other, and who better than someone we'd known forever? We did everything together... and then suddenly he no longer needed me, wanted to move on, told me the type of girl he was interested in (not me or my type; I was too independent, he wanted someone dependent). So I set him up with someone who was exactly what he said he wanted, they married, and I moved on.
But yeah, that really hurt. I was OK to love when he needed to feel strong, supported, and manly again, but I was too strong and overwhelmed him, and he needed someone clingy and dependent? Man, eff that. I will always remember the good times, because they were extremely good; but as I have grown, I am glad not to have tried to change for him. Dependency doesn't suit me. At all. Still...
No. I am so glad every ex is just that, an ex! While I have a few that I am cordial to, its because they come to me and are being nice. I don't seek them out or even really think about them. Maybe because when my mind wanders I think of things I have to do or what I want to do rather than yesterdays?
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