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The diatribe as you put it was important for context.
Typical. 200 years ago, women had it bad (I can hardly disagree) so it's all the fault of men today! (Dysfunctional logic alert! - something missing here)
The fact is, when the modern women's movement started in the 60s, many men did their best to meet with their demands. Somehow such men ended up being treated like s__t while women now went for the jerks instead. Is it any wonder that young men see this example and say, "Why should I try?"
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry Looking at this realistically, it's marriage that causes a high suicide rate in divorced men!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
They commit suicide because they are depressed.
And they are depressed because they got screwed in marriage and the subsequent divorce. Living in your car and being harassed by maintenance support can do that to a guy!
I tend to think marriage is an effect as well as a cause. People who get married & stay married tend to be socially/emotionally smarter than people who don't marry and/or divorce.
Nonsense! Men who don't get married (but want to) find it is because they cannot find a woman who would make this decision a reasonable prospect. In our society, men have the burden of finding a woman and women have the prerogative of turning them down.
10% of men have an easy time with this - lots of selection and few or no rejections. 20% have a more balanced experience but can eventually find someone reasonable. The rest must look and look, face a lot of rejection and in the end, have few real reasons to get married.
This has almost nothing to do with being socially and emotionally smarter - whatever that means. It has everything to do with whether a man is someone women crave, one they will settle for or one they really don't want to meet. Generally, women can segregate such men from across the room. They will usually avoid even speaking to the majority of men who fit into this latter category and can get quite nasty if they persist.
For the last generation, a large number of young married's did so with the socially endorsed notion: "If it doesn't work out (AKA: make me happy), we can always get divorced." Thus, there has been a lack of real lifetime commitment to marriage ... as evidenced by obscene divorce rates. And almost anyone with eyes in their head can see that there are far fewer successful divorces, than successful marriages.
The statistics of the article only report on what is happening, not why --- which leads the reader to develop their own annecdotal conclusions.
It may be wishful thinking, but, I am hoping that the reason marriages are down (if the statistics are actually accurate) ... is that people today are taking a more serious, committed approach to marriage.
..... Unfortunately, with the increasingly liberal mindset of our society, they may simply be concluding "who needs marriage ... we can have all the benefits without it." (For example, in a major segment of our society, the illigitimate birth rate is at an astonishing 70%).
Marriage is only being postponed by younger generation. They'd rather not go through the Liz 7 divorces. Good for them trying to be conscientious and restoring some reverence back to the institution. As for what's happening culturally in the south--- I don't care for how many MARRIED men thinking they're all that and a bag of chips with $5 in their pocket have hit on me just passing through on business trips. If they were taking their marriages seriously, there wouldn't be the embarrassing divorce rate y'all compulsively blame on the boogeyman liberal.
70% illegitimate birth rate is 70% who said yes to life no matter his lack of competence/ commitment. What are you complaining about again? 70% of the sperm donors are dogs who couldn't care a whit about fatherhood? Now THAT'S something to complain about. Enough with this ne'er-do-well peter pan BS. Grow up!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Singles, take note: With marriages at an all-time low, states in the South and West rank among the highest for couples hearing wedding bells. But many of these states also have higher rates of divorce.
Thoughts?
Some sliced off information being presented here. They are grouping areas and states. You forgot to add the opposite information in this article. "North Dakota has the highest marriage rate and lowest divorce rate.' Now the question is completely different.
One element missing from the article and in this thread are statistics on how many divorced people remarried before and don't now. It already speaks to several positive things such as teen marriages dropping.
Typical. 200 years ago, women had it bad (I can hardly disagree) so it's all the fault of men today! (Dysfunctional logic alert! - something missing here)
The fact is, when the modern women's movement started in the 60s, many men did their best to meet with their demands. Somehow such men ended up being treated like s__t while women now went for the jerks instead. Is it any wonder that young men see this example and say, "Why should I try?"
Somehow you managed to overlook my post on the matter. Men bent over backwards? Women are still discriminated against being hired by a man with the same qualifications and are still being paid less than men for the same job. Like I posted, the backbone of feminism was equal pay for equal work.
Nonsense! Men who don't get married (but want to) find it is because they cannot find a woman who would make this decision a reasonable prospect. In our society, men have the burden of finding a woman and women have the prerogative of turning them down.
10% of men have an easy time with this - lots of selection and few or no rejections. 20% have a more balanced experience but can eventually find someone reasonable. The rest must look and look, face a lot of rejection and in the end, have few real reasons to get married.
This has almost nothing to do with being socially and emotionally smarter - whatever that means. It has everything to do with whether a man is someone women crave, one they will settle for or one they really don't want to meet. Generally, women can segregate such men from across the room. They will usually avoid even speaking to the majority of men who fit into this latter category and can get quite nasty if they persist.
I'm not going to read through this whole thread but I'm going to throw this at you. Open up the singles pages in your town USA and read men seeking women column. They all want the same superficial things. A blind supermodel independently wealthy. Apply what they think they want with the deeper qualities of the best wife and mother you ever knew. Bear any resemblance whatsoever to what these men think they want? If you're honest, you'll be willing to acknowledge just how much barking up the wrong tree is going on out there. Now read the women's side of the column. Is she aiming for deeper qualities that both ought to be aiming for in the first place? Comparatively speaking, is her side of the column resembling the qualities of a good husband and father relative to what her male counterpart is seeking?
The burden falls on a man why? It's got to be his idea or he won't follow through. In my experience it's a self imposed handicap. Men of character who are serious about marriage usually don't have many problems unless they're stuck on ill conceived/ immature expectations. Certainly men who've been married 30yrs or better could laugh hard at that statement but they'd do better writing a book of marital advice. I think it's time for America to have a male Dear Abby column because I don't see it getting very much air play. Men are often too prideful to talk openly about relationships & dislike feeling emotionally vulnerable.
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