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Most likely....oddly enough, most of my friends are parents to boys (either boys only or both a boy and a girl). I've heard an earful over the years about girls who've led their sweet boys astray, broken their hearts, ruined their grades and ambition...so, yeah...it goes both ways...Teens (of both genders) are full of hormones and easily distracted...best we all hold our own kids responsible for their choices/behaviors.
I have read many threads on this forum about teen sex and one theme keeps repeating itself. There is this idea that if two teens have sex then:
1. The boy doesn't respect the girl
In some cases, teenage boys are concerned about getting some, not necessarily keeping the girl around. I think people automatically picture these types of boys when they think teen sex.
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2. The girl doesn't respect herself
There are some girls that will have sex to get a boy, keep a boy, or because she is feeling pressured. I don't think that necessarily means she doesn't respect herself; it simply means she is a confused teenage girl. I also don't think all girls are like this, but some are.
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Do you agree with these statements?
Not at all. I've worked in many high schools and have seen so many devastated, heartbroken boys that were dumped. Conversely, I've seen many devastated girls as well. Anyone that doesn't think teenage kids don't take their relationships seriously is painting every teen with the same brush (horny boy that only wants to get his rocks off; slutty girl that puts out for anyone for whatever reason)
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I do not equate sexual intercourse (or other sexual activity) with a lack of respect. Why is it considered disrespectful to have sex with someone at age 17-19 but not at 25?
You and I might be the only ones who think that teen boys can actually have deep, close relationships built on something other than sex (although sex may be a part of them).
Nope, there are three of us.
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Originally Posted by come_back_kid
I have to disagree with Mattie on one point. If the teens are in love it's usually one sided. The boy might use pressure on the girl telling her he loves her and if she loved him she would give him some. Take my word for it. When a teen boy is going in for the kill, love has nothing to do with it because the little head has hijacked all thinking from the big head.
The issue of respect comes up after the dirty deed is done and it turns out the boy was just using the girl and dumps her shortly after.
Teen boys don't "go for the kill" in my experience. Having three sons, I have witnessed plenty. I know many parents of daughters don't like to hear it, but girls can definitely be the aggressors in relationships. My sons hated the drama involved in high school relationships. They preferred to see girls who went to different schools because of it.
I don't know if they are having sex right now, as they are both away at college. I don't have a problem with it. Middle is seeing a girl whose father sent me an email to let me know he had never come across such a protective boy where his daughter was concerned. Youngest is dating a girl from Europe who is a year ahead of him( oldest is married).
Girls need to take responsibility for their own sexuality. They can say no. After that, it's a legal issue if the boys don't comply, and my sons have certainly heard that talk.
I have read many threads on this forum about teen sex and one theme keeps repeating itself. There is this idea that if two teens have sex then:
1. The boy doesn't respect the girl
or
2. The girl doesn't respect herself
Do you agree with these statements?
Sometimes.
I think sometimes, teen sex is a way to gain acceptance, love, social coin, or something else that is missing-- and I don't think it's limited to girls.
Sometimes it's a way to feel grown up, or to make someone else happy.
Or sometimes it's curiosity.
Sometimes "I'm in love".
Sometimes it's just satisfaction of a physical urge.
Mostly, it's "it seemed like a good idea at the time". Problem is, it isn't generally, IME/O.
The corollary here, in a household with a son and daughters, is "All men are bastards, and all women are treacherous". Sometimes it's true, but mostly not.
I have read many threads on this forum about teen sex and one theme keeps repeating itself. There is this idea that if two teens have sex then:
1. The boy doesn't respect the girl
or
2. The girl doesn't respect herself
Do you agree with these statements?
I am not trying to debate the idea that its ok for young teens (under 16) to be sexually active. I don't consider that to be a good idea although I am sure there are some who will twist my words.
I do not equate sexual intercourse (or other sexual activity) with a lack of respect. Why is it considered disrespectful to have sex with someone at age 17-19 but not at 25?
I agree with you. While I'm sure that there are boys who are players and girls who are sluts, it's also true that kids fall in love and like older people, want to have sex. And it's not new, either. Weren't Romeo and Juliet 13 or 14 or so? (And yes, I know they're fictional characters, but they weren't portrayed as particularly young in the story.)
I agree with you. While I'm sure that there are boys who are players and girls who are sluts, it's also true that kids fall in love and like older people, want to have sex. And it's not new, either. Weren't Romeo and Juliette 13 or 14 or so?
Juilet is described as "not-quite-fourteen" in the book but Romeo is much older, or is assume to be much older, late teens to early 20's.
Juilet is described as "not-quite-fourteen" in the book but Romeo is much older, or is assume to be much older, late teens to early 20's.
Thanks for the details. In any case, their situation is portrayed as a love story, which I think correlates to what the OP was saying. That just because young people have sex, it doesn't have to involve a lack of respect on anyone's part.
You and I might be the only ones who think that teen boys can actually have deep, close relationships built on something other than sex (although sex may be a part of them).
I don't see that as being accurate based on the responses here.
I agree with you. While I'm sure that there are boys who are players and girls who are sluts, it's also true that kids fall in love and like older people, want to have sex. And it's not new, either. Weren't Romeo and Juliet 13 or 14 or so? (And yes, I know they're fictional characters, but they weren't portrayed as particularly young in the story.)
Well, except that Juliet was still supervised by her Nurse. And I'm not sure they'd be the icons for good decision-making, anyway.
Being capable of "falling in love" is not necessarily a good yardstick for having sex, anymore than being physiologically able to procreate and liking babies makes you a good parent.
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Originally Posted by Marlow
Thanks for the details. In any case, their situation is portrayed as a love story, which I think correlates to what the OP was saying. That just because young people have sex, it doesn't have to involve a lack of respect on anyone's part.
There's a reason it's considered one of Shakespeare's tragedies.
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