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People with nothing to hide, hide nothing is accurate. But it's not really relevant to this post. The OP clearly has something to hide. It's obviously easier to hide nothing, when there is not deep dark secrets in your past. I prefer to operate under the premise that "people that are confident in themselves won't hide anything". I have some things in my past I would prefer people don't know. Most of my friends don't know about these, but my wife does. I tell her everything. But that is me. I'm not confident that I know everything about her past. I think she probably has more to hide, and I wish she trusted me to be completely honest. But I respect the fact that it was in the past, and it's her decision whether to reveal everything to me.
It's not like I wanted to hide things from my ex wife. Some people can't handle certain information, if you knew your wife wasn't able to handle certain things you've done & to tell her would mean losing her. would you tell her? More the likey not.
If you feel like telling her, then it's because you trust her. If you don't feel like telling her, then don't. Some people can't handle the truth. Others are more open-minded. Know which one she is before spilling it.
Yeah, I used to tell my Ex girlfriend that she gained a lot of weight in the year that we were going out. I would tell her everyday that all of my other girlfriends before here were perfect and still look that way! Woman, they ask for the truth, and when you give it to them they freak!
Yeah, I used to tell my Ex girlfriend that she gained a lot of weight in the year that we were going out. I would tell her everyday that all of my other girlfriends before here were perfect and still look that way! Woman, they ask for the truth, and when you give it to them they freak!
Sometimes there is something that a partner should have knowledge of such as a past drinking problem. Something like that can effect the future even if it is in control now. One of my BILs had given up drinking for a decade and had a new partner in life. She didn't understand his reticence in not wanting to go to social events where drinking was the norm because he hadn't told her. It came up in the form of a complaint from her to my wife and I about how he didn't want to attend these things seemingly for no reason. We didn't tell her but entreated him to do so and he did come clean. She was fine with it and they are still together. Things like this are something that if you love someone you need to come clean on because a partner has fair right to know what may come to bite them in the ass. Other than that I think let sleeping dogs lie, opening up old wounds to no end is pointless and can be hurtful where no hurt need happen.
Pure sarcasm Yankeegirl. Point: Not everybody wants to hear everything and people should be tack full and not hurtful in what they say. Honesty and openness is not all what it seems to be.
Pure sarcasm Yankeegirl. Point: Not everybody wants to hear everything and people should be tack full and not hurtful in what they say. Honesty and openness is not all what it seems to be.
Oh. Ok. So, when you told her this, it was in a nice, tactful way that she did not get hurt. I see! That makes it all better!
How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't know you, the choices you've made, the lessons you've learned, the very things that have made you who you are today? How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone you don't trust? How long before you start lying (even by omission) because your fear that they won't like what you have done, because you don't trust them? TRUST is huge! I am not saying your partner needs to know every little detail, but you need to examine why you would want to be with a person you don't trust enough to let them know you.
Oh. Ok. So, when you told her this, it was in a nice, tactful way that she did not get hurt. I see! That makes it all better!
It was hypothetical. I have never said anything like this.
Last edited by LS Jaun; 10-19-2011 at 09:43 AM..
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