Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
During my 10 years of marraige I never felt like I could be competly honest with her about things I done when I was younger. I sort of have a checkered past but never felt like I could tell her about it when she asked. The girl I'm seeing now if she asked I feel like I could tell her anything she wished to know.
Is it okay to keep somethings hidden from your spouse/GF/BF? OR does this bode ill later down the road?
During my 10 years of marraige I never felt like I could be competly honest with her about things I done when I was younger. I sort of have a checkered past but never felt like I could tell her about it when she asked. The girl I'm seeing now if she asked I feel like I could tell her anything she wished to know.
Is it okay to keep somethings hidden from your spouse/GF/BF? OR does this bode ill later down the road?
As long as it occurred before the relationship and isn't going to affect the relationship, I don't see any reason to dredge up the past.
However, I want to be honest with my girlfriend. If she asks me a specific question about my past I'll answer it as best I can. I honestly don't think any specific detail about my past is going to cause her to leave me and my past isn't exactly squeaky clean.
I am not sure... I think it depends on the secret? IMHO, I would want you to disclose anything that could potentially come back and hurt our relationship... other than that? I would not care, there is a reason why the past is behind you right? we all make mistakes when young, who am I to judge what you did?
Guess it depends on if the secret is something that would change the dynamic of your relationship or just something personal you want to keep to yourself. IMO if you don't feel comfortable sharing, that in itself doesn't bode well.
During my 10 years of marraige I never felt like I could be competly honest with her about things I done when I was younger. I sort of have a checkered past but never felt like I could tell her about it when she asked. The girl I'm seeing now if she asked I feel like I could tell her anything she wished to know.
Is it okay to keep somethings hidden from your spouse/GF/BF? OR does this bode ill later down the road?
FYI,
People with nothing to hide, hide nothing.
Honesty and trust are the basis for all good relationships.
I was in a marriage for 27 years. I have never been a liar, but in that relationship I did not feel as though I could be completely honest with him. I seemed to always be in trouble for something, and while I am an honest person, I never out and out lied to him, but I did do the lying by omission thing. There were things I felt I could not tell him.
That marriage ended. And I hated the feeling that I could possibly be in a marriage with someone for 27 years, and at the end of that marriage, I felt as though he didn't know me at all. I was who he wanted me to be, but I was not allowed to be myself.
My husband now had much the same relationship with his ex.
He and I have made a promise to always be honest with one another. Sometimes we do tell each other things the other does not necessarily want to know or hear.... it tends to fall under the 'be careful what you ask' category, b/c if one of us asks, we will get the truth.
And yes, complete truth is not always easy, but I'd rather live this way than the way I lived before....
Guess it depends on if the secret is something that would change the dynamic of your relationship or just something personal you want to keep to yourself. IMO if you don't feel comfortable sharing, that in itself doesn't bode well.
That's the only issue I see. I'm a different person than I was exactly a year ago, but it's still easy for people to say "you couldn't have changed that much in a year!"
It's really hard to offer advice without knowing what the secret is!?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
