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i dont understand how people can be so shallow that i could blow a date with one word (kisses). Its not like i sent her a topless picture or anything. I didnt think of it as nothing more than a friendly gesture.
I understand that you may not have meant anything by it, but I'd say to most people that single word would be a red flag. Also, you didn't mention if you live in the U.S. or not, but if you don't then maybe in another country ending a note with "kisses" is just a friendly way to say goodbye. I don't know. But unless that's the case, I think responding again will only make it worse. Just think, what would you tell her?
"Sorry about the 'kisses'. I just meant it in a friendly way, but some people I was discussing it with online said you would probably take it poorly."
Then she'll wonder why you were talking about it online. But if you leave out the part about discussing it online, it'll look like you did mean it in a romantic way, but then started have second thoughts and are now trying to play it off as merely friendly. I just don't see either of these options as helping, and instead will just make things worse. That's why I say just forget about it and move on, unless she writes back. If she does and mentions the "kisses", then maybe you could say you didn't intend it to be taken romantically. But otherwise I would definitely leave it alone. That's just my opinion, coming from a guy who has also found himself over-analyzing things in the past.
I understand that you may not have meant anything by it, but I'd say to most people that single word would be a red flag. Also, you didn't mention if you live in the U.S. or not, but if you don't then maybe in another country ending a note with "kisses" is just a friendly way to say goodbye. I don't know. But unless that's the case, I think responding again will only make it worse. Just think, what would you tell her?
"Sorry about the 'kisses'. I just meant it in a friendly way, but some people I was discussing it with online said you would probably take it poorly."
Then she'll wonder why you were talking about it online. But if you leave out the part about discussing it online, it'll look like you did mean it in a romantic way, but then started have second thoughts and are now trying to play it off as merely friendly. I just don't see either of these options as helping, and instead will just make things worse. That's why I say just forget about it and move on, unless she writes back. If she does and mentions the "kisses", then maybe you could say you didn't intend it to be taken romantically. But otherwise I would definitely leave it alone. That's just my opinion, coming from a guy who has also found himself over-analyzing things in the past.
Thanks for your advice. Im from the United Kingdom, so yes i definately meant it in a friendly way. But who am i to argue? If everyone said i screwed up, than yes i screwed up. In future i will make sure that i dont end messages with that word. Also i probably have to accept now that i screwed up a potential coffee meeting with what seemed like a special woman.
hi everyone. Im new to this forum. Can someone help me please? Im confused.I need advice and insight.
Ok well here is my story.....I was browsing around online when i stumbled accross a random womans blog website. After reading a few of her blogs i found myself really enjoying reading her posts. I like reading her describe her feelings and her insight- she just seemed like an amazing woman overall. She mentioned somewhere on her blogs that she had just gotten out of a divorce recently but that she was looking for a new relationship. I find her very attractive. The only problem is she is considerably older than me.
Anyways after reading one of her blogs i learned that she is going to be visiting my town soon, so i decided to contact her via email and introduce myself and ask her if it was possible if we could go out on a date. She replied back to me and said that she was visiting with a girl friend and that she would keep me posted as her plans solidify and that hopefully we will at least share a cup of tea.The only thing is that she ended by saying that i looked like a ''fairly young guy.'' I wasnt sure if i should reply back to her or not, to tell her how old i am. I felt the need to be honest. I should have came here first, but i decided to send her another message, telling her how old i am(28), and i asked her if age mattered to her. I closed by saying that i hope that i am fortunate to get the oppurtunity to enjoy her company when she visitied.
So did i screw up by tellling her my real age? Or even by sending her another message? So far i havent yet heard back from her.
Also for some reason i feel somewhat nervous and hesitant about this woman and that if it gets to a date that i will screw up. I dont usually feel this way around women. I know it is immature of me, but i will feel dissapointed if i dont get a date with her- i got my hopes really built up especially at first.
NOOOO man why did you do this??? Its a woman who cares what her age is, SHe is a women. TAKE CONTROL DUDE!!! Tell her you dont care about how you look and that YOU WANT to take her out and she should not pass up the chance to hang with you while she is intown. You can show here the gems because its YOUR city!! Man You asked her opinion on your age? Why?? Its a woman your not suppose to care about such gay opinions man...Man Im mad at you now for not having to the balls to tell this chich what you wanted which was her! Tell her you WANT her man. damn!
Just my opinion, you don't need to agree with me but you come across as someone who is emotionally immature and not very confident.
You don't even know this woman and you have already showed her all your cards, usually that will turn a woman off immediately, which I think already happened.
Also, approaching someone via email and asking if they want to go on a date would creep most women out. Even if this woman was the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world, you should have asked her if she wanted to "meet" and "hang out", the word of the use "date" is so WRONG in this context.
99.9% of women out there like guys who take it slow, who don't come across as desperate and needy and nothing is less attractive to a woman than a guy who has no social life, no other interests and will call, email or text, like 20 times a day.
If you want to keep a woman interested, you need to be more emotionally mature, not come across as desperate and take it slow. The use of the word "kisses" was very innapropriate because you are showing some romantic interest and you haven't even met her yet, if I was a woman, I would have blocked you
Just my opinion, you don't need to agree with me but you come across as someone who is emotionally immature and not very confident.
You don't even know this woman and you have already showed her all your cards, usually that will turn a woman off immediately, which I think already happened.
Also, approaching someone via email and asking if they want to go on a date would creep most women out. Even if this woman was the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world, you should have asked her if she wanted to "meet" and "hang out", the word of the use "date" is so WRONG in this context.
99.9% of women out there like guys who take it slow, who don't come across as desperate and needy and nothing is less attractive to a woman than a guy who has no social life, no other interests and will call, email or text, like 20 times a day.
If you want to keep a woman interested, you need to be more emotionally mature, not come across as desperate and take it slow. The use of the word "kisses" was very innapropriate because you are showing some romantic interest and you haven't even met her yet, if I was a woman, I would have blocked you
thanks for your opinion. I was definately more nervous,because well- i hadnt established a level of comfort.
I'm not familiar with acceptable niceties in the U.K., so maybe we're all over-reacting to the added "kisses". I know here in the U.S. that would seem pretty odd, but I'm just not familiar enough with the customs in the U.K. to make a judgement here. Do we have any other U.K. members who could offer some more input?
all i can say is that if she ignores me from here on out because of the way i closed a message, than she cant be much of a woman. At the end of the day, what is the difference between kisses and XOXO? i sent her previous messages and closed with XOXO, so i thought i would just change it by ending with the word kisses, the last time.
Anyway I will send her a christmas message when it is near christmas, and if she doesent reply than its her problem- there are other women.
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Time to move on.
