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Old 11-05-2011, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,556 posts, read 34,920,300 times
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As a child I never played baby dolls, never dreamed of my wedding day.

But I was with my husband for 18 years and loved that time, subsequently I have been with my SO for a year and will marry him.

Marriage is not a goal for me. But when I find the right person, it IS the correct form for me.
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Old 11-05-2011, 06:28 PM
 
1,738 posts, read 846,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
Because the "drug addicts, alcoholics, sociopaths, and bad/mean people" saw it in a glossy magazine where everyone is smiling and the sun is shining brightly and they want to live a life where everyone is smiling and the sun shines.

With that being said, a long term relationship* is a great thing but I don't think it is necessary to be married to achieve and/or maintain it.

*I would use words like deep and meaningful but those are givens.
I have had a "long term relationship" with my doctor, my dentist, and even my accountant-- and yet-- I'd hardly call any of them deep, or particularly meaningful... So perhaps it is not quite the given that you assume after all.
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Old 11-05-2011, 06:35 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,670,201 times
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Relationship message boards are chalk full of people who don't want to get married or have children. You're in the right place.
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Old 11-05-2011, 06:48 PM
 
1,754 posts, read 2,470,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Relationship message boards are chalk full of people who don't want to get married or have children. You're in the right place.
Because they don't have anybody in their lives.
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Old 11-05-2011, 06:54 PM
 
3,516 posts, read 6,787,171 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
Is marriage meant for all?
With a 50% divorce rate and another 25% that really shouldn't be married in the first place I'm thinking definately no!
What do you mean by "meant for"? My life is not predetermined, there are many paths before me and some lead to marriage and some don't. One leads to me becoming the first empress of the moon! And I will control all the moon rubies in all the galaxy!
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Old 11-05-2011, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,702,004 times
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It would definitely be for me if I find the right woman to share it with. I've seen successful, long-lasting marriages and that's definitely for me. I've also seen ****ty, ultimately-failed marriages and those are definitely NOT for me.
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Old 11-05-2011, 08:08 PM
 
18,143 posts, read 15,717,350 times
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Why would you assume ALL people do anything, let alone decide something about marriage? All people don't assume. Some people assume.

BTW, I'm not married and while at one time in my life I thought I probably would get married eventually, it really didn't work out that way. It happens. Sometimes it's right and sometimes not.
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Old 11-05-2011, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Bellingham, WA
9,726 posts, read 16,754,826 times
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Most of us have been raised in a society that tells us that the best thing you can be is normal. And normal includes getting married, having kids, and a thousand other things. So it stands to reason that most people in this society will hope to live as normal a life as possible. This includes people who can make a marriage work along with those who have practically no chance of making it work. But they all likely see it as a thing they're expected to do, and so they try to do it. I can't tell you how many times I've had friends who were in committed, long term relationships finally get engaged and the reason they give is, "Well, it's about time I guess." Society expects them to be married, and they do. Sometimes it works out beautifully, and other times it's the biggest mistake they'll ever make. Personally, I'm not entirely convinced that humans are meant to be truly monogamous creatures in the first place, but we've fashioned a society that expects it regardless.

As for me, I don't expect to ever be married and I'm okay with that. In fact I don't really even expect to ever end up in a committed, long term relationship at all. And I can live with that, too, though there are times I think it would be a nice thing to experience. When I was younger I overly romanticized the idea of a life partner, and so I'm fairly jaded to the "Oh, it's ingrained in every soul, it's so beautiful, etc" kind of talk. If it happens, fine. If it doesn't, fine. I feel no strong need to be married, regardless of whether society tells me it's "normal" or not.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,775 posts, read 3,787,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Relationship message boards are chalk full of people who don't want to get married or have children. You're in the right place.
Guess I am not welcome here because i am happily married??:ee k:
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,775 posts, read 3,787,345 times
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Marriage isnt right for everyone, but some people dont know what requires a good marriage in the first place, and even more people get married for the WRONG reasons, or they have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Marriage is, after all, an institution put in place by society and perpetuated as a form of keeping society civil. To most guys, its just a piece of paper. You can still love someone and live with them and not be married...but there are perks about marriage that attract people (financial, career advancement/community acceptance in some circles, family traditions, culture, religion, kids) which is why it will continue to be an attractive option fir many.

I think its a bit silly to rule out marriage for marriage's sake, there are many people who married for the right reasons and are happily married...but it takes work, and in recent years, it feels like most couples just give up too easily and just dont understand that all marriages require work.
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