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Case in point: the husband of someone close to me left her and although there was never talk of a divorce they were separated (maintained contact) for a few months. They've since reconciled and he confessed during the time apart he slept with someone else.
I think it depends on how broken the marriage really is. My ex met a woman and bought a house with her within a couple of months of our separation--way before the "D" word was ever discussed.
If you agree to separate or take a break, you should define the terms and conditions that apply during that time, and the goal of the break. You really can't assume how things will be for the other person, or what they think it means. If the situation changes, you should discuss how you want things to be going forward, if you are going forward.
There is really nothing to define. When someone wants to "take a break" from a marriage it means they want to have sex with someone else. The question is can the other person live with that?
Case in point: the husband of someone close to me left her and although there was never talk of a divorce they were separated (maintained contact) for a few months. They've since reconciled and he confessed during the time apart he slept with someone else.
Thoughts.
Depends on the marriage, why they were separated, and whether each party is comfortable with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
If you agree to separate or take a break, you should define the terms and conditions that apply during that time, and the goal of the break. You really can't assume how things will be for the other person, or what they think it means. If the situation changes, you should discuss how you want things to be going forward, if you are going forward.
This is probably the best thing to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
There is really nothing to define. When someone wants to "take a break" from a marriage it means they want to have sex with someone else. The question is can the other person live with that?
That can't always be the case, maybe some people feel too smothered or need some time to think about things.
Disclaimer: I am not married and am not typically friends with people who are married (due to my age.)
I agree with Ceece.....JordanJP....the fact IS he did sleep with someone else...You can say it was because he felt smothered or needed some time to think about things if you want..but that doesn't change the fact.
I agree with Ceece.....JordanJP....the fact IS he did sleep with someone else...You can say it was because he felt smothered or needed some time to think about things if you want..but that doesn't change the fact.
But to generalize and say that all men, when they say they "need a break", are really just trying to sleep with someone else is not correct. It may be the case but most people I've known who have said "I need a break" aren't looking to sleep with others, but merely to get their **** together and figure out if they want to stay with the person or break it off altogether because things just aren't working out.
Personally I would take it as cheating. If you're still married and hope to reconcile, then its cheating. If you've seperated and waiting for the divorce to finalize, maybe not so much.
Personally I would take it as cheating. If you're still married and hope to reconcile, then its cheating. If you've seperated and waiting for the divorce to finalize, maybe not so much.
Agree with this. Rep.
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Just can't wait for a certain someone to come out of the woodwork!
