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First of all, I'm single and I've never been married. Throughout my single life, I've always been on a roller coaster ride of feeling attractive and unattractive, and trying to figure where I fit in general in society's 'totem pole' of physical attractiveness.
I reason other single people are similarly hung up about their looks. Because they want to find somebody they are attracted to and who is attracted to them. They don't want to shoot too high and risk rejection or take too much less than what they can get.
But for you married people, doesn't that go away? I mean, let's assume you marry someone you LIKE, and really aren't thinking about cheating on. Let's assume he/she is attracted to you and would overlook minor fluctuations in weight throughout the years and is basically going to STAY attracted to you for the duration.
You would still care about your looks. But, for all intensive purposes, you are just trying to maintain the level of attractiveness you had when you met him/her. You are no longer worried about how good looking/ugly you are in the scheme of society (at least not regularly). Because theoretically, you should no longer care about attracting another person except for your mate.
Is this a pretty accurate depiction of being married?
EDIT: The question is not about looking good for your mate. Assume you are going to work out, stay slim and they will find you attractive forever. The question is about feeling attractive to other members of the opposite sex based on your god given looks. Why would you care anymore if you are married?
First of all, I'm single and I've never been married. Throughout my single life, I've always been on a roller coaster ride of feeling attractive and unattractive, and trying to figure where I fit in general in society's 'totem pole' of physical attractiveness.
I reason other single people are similarly hung up about their looks. Because they want to find somebody they are attracted to and who is attracted to them. They don't want to shoot too high and risk rejection or take too much less than what they can get.
But for you married people, doesn't that go away? I mean, let's assume you marry someone you LIKE, and really aren't thinking about cheating on. Let's assume he/she is attracted to you and would overlook minor fluctuations in weight throughout the years and is basically going to STAY attracted to you for the duration.
You would still care about your looks. But, for all intensive purposes, you are just trying to maintain the level of attractiveness you had when you met him/her. You are no longer worried about how good looking/ugly you are in the scheme of society (at least not regularly). Because theoretically, you should no longer care about attracting another person except for your mate.
Is this a pretty accurate depiction of being married?
You should try to look as good as or better than you did when you were married. For you and for your mate.
Anyhow...You do your best to look good. I think getting married is not the finish line for your looking good. We all look our best for ourselves. Of course, it's nice to show off our mate when they look nice though.
It's better to maintain looks even if you are married because marriage now a days isn't a permanent commitment anymore, in case you get divorced and are looking for someone new, it's best to be in your top shape than feel bad about not being able to attract anyone then due to being out of shape.
Anyhow...You do your best to look good. I think getting married is not the finish line for your looking good. We all look our best for ourselves. Of course, it's nice to show off our mate when they look nice though.
Let me explain. I'm always worried about how attractive I am in the eyes of the opposite sex because I want to attract somebody I like.
Well, I figure once people have gotten married, they don't have to worry about it anymore. Yea, you still have to maintain your attractiveness level. But you're not worried as much how good looking you are as far as against all other men/women. Because for all intensive purposes you are out of the game.
First of all, I'm single and I've never been married. Throughout my single life, I've always been on a roller coaster ride of feeling attractive and unattractive, and trying to figure where I fit in general in society's 'totem pole' of physical attractiveness.
I reason other single people are similarly hung up about their looks. Because they want to find somebody they are attracted to and who is attracted to them. They don't want to shoot too high and risk rejection or take too much less than what they can get.
But for you married people, doesn't that go away? I mean, let's assume you marry someone you LIKE, and really aren't thinking about cheating on. Let's assume he/she is attracted to you and would overlook minor fluctuations in weight throughout the years and is basically going to STAY attracted to you for the duration.
You would still care about your looks. But, for all intensive purposes, you are just trying to maintain the level of attractiveness you had when you met him/her. You are no longer worried about how good looking/ugly you are in the scheme of society (at least not regularly). Because theoretically, you should no longer care about attracting another person except for your mate.
Is this a pretty accurate depiction of being married?
Married 8+ years and I still care how "society" views me. My husband would probably state that I care a little too much.
My reasons not in any particular order:
1. I want my husband to think I look hot. I don't want him looking for an "upgrade."
2. How do I know something won't happen to my husband in the future, whether he leaves me for an "upgrade" or passes unexpectedly and I'm back out in the dating pool?? I want to keep the odds in my favor.
3. It feels good to be desired by other men. They can look, they just can't touch.
Married 8+ years and I still care how "society" views me. My husband would probably state that I care a little too much.
My reasons not in any particular order:
1. I want my husband to think I look hot. I don't want him looking for an "upgrade."
2. How do I know something won't happen to my husband in the future, whether he leaves me for an "upgrade" or passes unexpectedly and I'm back out in the dating pool?? I want to keep the odds in my favor.
3. It feels good to be desired by other men. They can look, they just can't touch.
4. I feel good when I think I look good.
Thanks. That's not the answer I wanted to hear, but at least you understood the question.
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