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Visit a nursing home. Do it outside of a holiday season. Whether it's fair or not is immaterial. The blunt fact is there are an ungodly amount of people in there who expected their children to take care of them when they were old. Now they are warehoused in pits of despair, lonely and forgotten. I've dried to many tears of these people. Way to many.
+1 Tom, just repped you.
My mother lives in a nicer assisted living facility. Most people there are over 80 years old. Today on Christmas when I visited her for lunch, I was the only visitor among the 50 or 60 other old people eating there. It was heartbreaking. They all sat alone on Christmas and my mom told me 95% of these people have kids and none of them EVER visit.
I've heard a lot of people say, "I want kids because I don't want to be alone when I get old." Hope no one here is under that cruel illusion.
My mother lives in a nicer assisted living facility. Most people there are over 80 years old. Today on Christmas when I visited her for lunch, I was the only visitor among the 50 or 60 other old people eating there. It was heartbreaking. They all sat alone on Christmas and my mom told me 95% of these people have kids and none of them EVER visit.
I've heard a lot of people say, "I want kids because I don't want to be alone when I get old." Hope no one here is under that cruel illusion.
Honestly, I've never heard anyone say that and that is certainly not why I had children.
Some people feel the need to have children. Some people have no such need. You can dissect it all you want but it's just the way people are. Now - I'm not saying that everyone that wants children has them and the the people who don't want children don't. I'm just saying that the desire to have children is either there or it isn't.
I'm kind of baffled that these discussions always turn into this. Why are people so judgmental and why do they try to find reasons to criticize those that have made a different choice. I could care less what other people decide to do with their lives. And the only person that I really need to agree with on the matter of children is my husband. I don't think my friends that don't have children are selfish or immature or anything. They simply don't want children. Who cares?
Migee: thanks for jump starting this topic again . Interesting opinions, everyone has their take on the kids thing I guess....
What I didn't get to say in my other thread: I look at motherhood and it scares the sh*t out of me. Personally I do not want kids, I don't know how the mothers/fathers do it. My dog ran away once and I went ballistic -- can't imagine losing a child in a mall or abduction, etc. I truly beleive some people are not meant to have children just as some people it's probably their life calling. At least for me not wanting kids has to do with the tremendous responsibilities that come with guiding a human life. Frankly, I don't think I'm cut out for that! It has nothing to do with vanity or selfishness. It's that old saying "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." That is part of the reason I don't want children, the other part I'm going to hold off on stating because pretty sure that will drive this thread right into the ground .
I'm kind of baffled that these discussions always turn into this. Why are people so judgmental and why do they try to find reasons to criticize those that have made a different choice. I could care less what other people decide to do with their lives. And the only person that I really need to agree with on the matter of children is my husband. I don't think my friends that don't have children are selfish or immature or anything. They simply don't want children. Who cares?
On the bolded part. This subject is really only a concern to the person making the decision. Sometimes I think people introduce the subject to this board just to stir up sh+t. I've lost count of the number of childfree threads that have been started.
There are forums devoted to the childfree life, ranging from mellow to brash. A few, like The Childfree Life (The Childfree Life • Index page), allow dialogue as long as it is respectful ("we will NOT tolerate disrespect of our lifestyles and choices, trolling, preaching, intolerance"). They even have a fence sitter section; something that is fairly uncommon among active CF groups. If someone wants to engage in an even-handed dialogue about the CF choice/orientation, then a place like that is where a healthy discussion can take place. If all you want to do is start a thread where you can lecture childfree folks on how wrong their decision is; how much better it is to be a parent; I guess CD is the place to be
On the bolded part. This subject is really only a concern to the person making the decision. Sometimes I think people introduce the subject to this board just to stir up sh+t. I've lost count of the number of childfree threads that have been started.
There are forums devoted to the childfree life, ranging from mellow to brash. A few, like The Childfree Life (The Childfree Life • Index page), allow dialogue as long as it is respectful ("we will NOT tolerate disrespect of our lifestyles and choices, trolling, preaching, intolerance"). They even have a fence sitter section; something that is fairly uncommon among active CF groups. If someone wants to engage in an even-handed dialogue about the CF choice/orientation, then a place like that is where a healthy discussion can take place. If all you want to do is start a thread where you can lecture childfree folks on how wrong their decision is; how much better it is to be a parent; I guess CD is the place to be
On the flip side - I guess CD is also the place to be to call those who have children selfish, a drain on society, bad parents, etc. Why can't we all just get along?
People shouldn't have to explain their motivations for remaining childless to anyone. So what if parents think that those who choose not to have kids are selfish. It's none of their concern anyhow.
I always find it funny when some parents throw out the selfish lable to people who choose not to have kids. They say this like they had kids out of sheer altruism.
We are living in very difficult times. This nation of ours is in "uncharted territory." Personally, were I child-bearing age and knowing what I do at this time, I would not have children. The very thought even brings to mind a part of bible that speaks of a short time on earth and says, "woe to those with suck in those days." *(meaning with baby at breast at that time)
We have two daughters, ages 24 and 27 and neither of them have kids, yet and both are happily married. One couple will not have kids, and in fact as they first dated it was a "plus" that neither had ever had a desire to be parents. I respect and back them totally.
The other couple just purchased a brand new home and hope to start a family in two more years. I'm equally behind them. I am glad that this is our younger daughter and she wishes to wait. I believe this next couple of years will give plenty of time to see if this nation falls on, into a Great Depression and that this will potentially save them some heartache.
My father was born during the Great Depression and went on to have a very successful and happy life...I bet he would be glad his parents didn't think like Sunnysee does!
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. Interesting opinions, everyone has their take on the kids thing I guess....
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