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I NEVER wanted to have children. I never liked kids. But, I was stupid and not careful one night. (And I was completely sober - just high on lust). If it was up to me, I would have had an abortion. But, my boyfriend (now husband) wanted to keep the baby. As pro-choice as I am, I believe that if one partner wants to keep the baby, it trumps the partner who doesn't.
I am very hesitant to say that if I could do it over I wouldn't have had the baby. Out of respect for my son, I would never say that. He has brought me incredible joy. But, I would never have another baby. And I would never tell anyone who wanted to remain childless that they don't know what they're missing. Some people just don't want kids and that is fine. In order to have one, you should REALLY want one. Like, REALLY, REALLY, REEEAAALLLLYYY want one. It takes over and changes your entire life.
I agree a lot of people are having kids who can't afford them. My husband makes $75,000 a year and we are just scraping by. I cannot even begin to comprehend how someone who makes minimum wage, or even two parents each making minimum wage, can afford even one kid. It mystifies me.
If there is one thing I would like to impress upon my kid, it is that he never owes me anything and he never has to take care of me or do anything for me. I take care of all of his needs now, but I never want to ever be a burden on him or put him in that position. I wouldn't expect him to take care of me. As soon as he is able to be free, I want him to embrace his freedom and live his life for himself. If I was old and in a nursing home, I would not expect him to come visit me or do anything for me unless he wanted to. I would instead hope he was out living his own life. I didn't have a kid so I would have someone to take care of me.
My dad is in a nursing home. It is such a depressing place to visit. It SMELLS terribly. Being there is just so sad. If I was in a place like that I wouldn't want my kid having to hang out there. My dad has my other siblings (I don't live nearby) doing all his laundry and brining him things and running around buying him stuff. They have their own kids and families to take care of. My dad never took care of himself and his poor health is his fault. I think it is selfish of HIM not to realize that.
(Yes, I realize most people in nursing homes are not responsible for the shape they are in. Age gets to everyone. Maybe I would have more sympathy for my dad if that was the case for him).
Both of my parents were born during the depression of the 30s. The economy works in cycles. While it takes a copious amount of money to raise a child, it is possible to survive a depression. Not sure that sort of thinking is always a sound argument. Nothing against waiting. But I do sometimes question the logic.
No, if parents are to take care of their children, change their diapers and pay to get them through college with a safe environment over the head, then it sure as heck is not unfair to expect the same care in return
That would be reasonable if an infant wandered on to the front porch like a stray cat asking to be taken of, since it doesn't happen that way the expectation remains selfish.
LOL, a few hours too late for that...those gifts were ravaged at 7am in about 30 seconds!
Probably the big words you were using.
I had just got done reading Shell Silverstein to my 7yr old. Doesn't take much brain power to read his poems!
I forgot how they like to open them as soon as Christmas 'starts.'
I don't know any really big words . And one of the first books my mom ever read to me was "Where the Sidewalk Ends." (That and "Goodnight Moon.") I am a lifelong & avid reader because of that. She passed away this summer. So props to you for reading to the kiddies, they won't forget that.
I forgot how they like to open them as soon as Christmas 'starts.'
I don't know any really big words . And one of the first books my mom ever read to me was "Where the Sidewalk Ends." (That and "Goodnight Moon.") I am a lifelong & avid reader because of that. She passed away this summer. So props to you for reading to the kiddies, they won't forget that.
LOVE Where the Sidewalk Ends. I have a copy of that one too (and have a lot of them memorized from my childhood). He has a new one out which is what I was reading to my son.
I was just teasin' you about the big words. Truthfully, I skimmed fast and I missed that sentence.
I'm sorry about your moms passing but I'm glad you have those memories of her.
LOVE Where the Sidewalk Ends. I have a copy of that one too (and have a lot of them memorized from my childhood). He has a new one out which is what I was reading to my son.
I was just teasin' you about the big words. Truthfully, I skimmed fast and I missed that sentence.
I'm sorry about your moms passing but I'm glad you have those memories of her.
Oh! I thought he died , didn't know his books were still being published! yea, i will always have those memories, sigh. Thanks. Good nite
Well I feel a need to give my $.02. I'm a 28 year old male, currently single with no desire to have kids. I opted for a vasectomy 3 years ago because I've always known fatherhood was a desire I lacked. Yes, dating has been a nightmare.....women are fine with me until they discover I'm snipped; ridiculing and criticizing MY choices about MY body. I can't tell you how many times I've been called a devil, selfish, worldly, evil, etc.....all because I make it a point to let them know up front that kids are non-negotiable.
Grant it, income would not be an issue even if I were a single parent but the fact is that I have no desire to take on such responsibility...ever. It's not selfish in my honest opinion, selfish is breeding uncontrollably and not having the means to sustain a family. Children of these situations are always the victims, lacking the normal experience\education\opportunity that children from financially stable households enjoy.
I desire a woman who wishes to remain childless, stays in shape\is health conscious, won't feel guilty about submitting to her desires and won't change her mind a few years down the road in regards to starting a family. We are always told "when you have kids you'll understand", its never "if you have kids, you'll understand". Society implies that forgoing parenthood is abnormal and in many cases here in Texas, morally wrong. Sucks here lol.
My wife & I have 3 kids - all of them born when we were in our 20s. They're all grown & happily married, and we're young enough to thoroughly enjoy the Empty Nest.
No regrets.
The key is simple: If you're going to be parents, you cannot live just for yourself.
Well I feel a need to give my $.02. I'm a 28 year old male, currently single with no desire to have kids. I opted for a vasectomy 3 years ago because I've always known fatherhood was a desire I lacked. Yes, dating has been a nightmare.....women are fine with me until they discover I'm snipped; ridiculing and criticizing MY choices about MY body. I can't tell you how many times I've been called a devil, selfish, worldly, evil, etc.....all because I make it a point to let them know up front that kids are non-negotiable.
Grant it, income would not be an issue even if I were a single parent but the fact is that I have no desire to take on such responsibility...ever. It's not selfish in my honest opinion, selfish is breeding uncontrollably and not having the means to sustain a family. Children of these situations are always the victims, lacking the normal experience\education\opportunity that children from financially stable households enjoy.
I desire a woman who wishes to remain childless, stays in shape\is health conscious, won't feel guilty about submitting to her desires and won't change her mind a few years down the road in regards to starting a family. We are always told "when you have kids you'll understand", its never "if you have kids, you'll understand". Society implies that forgoing parenthood is abnormal and in many cases here in Texas, morally wrong. Sucks here lol.
Honestly, you're probably going to have a hard time finding a wife who is okay with your decision to not have kids.
If you don't want to be a dad that's fine, but deep inside the heart and soul of most women is the longing to be a mother. There may very well be a woman who shares your desire to not have children, but she'll be a rare find.
Oh! I thought he died , didn't know his books were still being published! yea, i will always have those memories, sigh. Thanks. Good nite
Shel Silverstein IS dead. SInce 1999. I don't know how he could have a new book out.
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. And one of the first books my mom ever read to me was "Where the Sidewalk Ends." (That and "Goodnight Moon.") I am a lifelong & avid reader because of that. She passed away this summer. So props to you for reading to the kiddies, they won't forget that. 
, didn't know his books were still being published! yea, i will always have those memories, sigh. Thanks. Good nite
