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Too bad she doesn't already have a boyfriend! I have been interested in a few girls at work, but they have both had a boyfriend already so I didn't have to worry about whether I should make a move or not. But yes, as everyone else said, you might as well go for it...but only if you are able to deal with the problems it could cause. In my opinion...if you are doing all of this talking and having dinner, then you are almost already dating so things shouldn't change too much if you did start dating.
Do you only hang out and socialize at work? Does your conversations really just center around work topics? Has either of you tried to ask each other out, outside of work hours?
I have had a lot of work friends over the years. I never really considered them romantic/dating material (except for one). Why? Generally what we have in common is primarily work. Work alone can allow for hours of conversation and such. However, outside of work, we generally had very little in common to consider building any kind of relationship out of.
Plus, we spend so much of our days at work, it is nice to have friends there to chat with, even if primarily about work.
So here's the deal, I honestly cannot tell if I am being friendzoned here or if a coworker is actually interested in me. So I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Basically, right now we are very good friends, and are constantly chatting via IMs or sometimes we'll even leave our desks to go do work in one of the conference rooms together. It's gotten to the point now, however, that OTHER people in the office are starting to make subtle (and some not so subtle) remarks about her and I. This is something I've noticed but haven't really brought it up with her. This morning, apparently someone made a comment about it to her, and she brought it up with me, but again, I couldn't get a read on if she had a double meaning behind it. This also lead to her saying, "I can't believe more people here don't hook up." I of course said that it could be dangerous, and some places that could get you fired. She immediately then went to look up to see if our office had a policy regarding it (they didnt). Then we decided to go out to lunch together, which we've never done alone.
So now I am completely confused on how to handle this. Truth is, I really dig her and would love to date her, but we have a real good thing going right now and I'd hate to ruin that or make it awkward. I was thinking one way to possible approach this is by just asking her if she's noticed people making comments about it, and kind of go from there.
I know everyone is going to say "dont stick your pen in the company ink, don't crap where you eat," and I really would love to stick to that rule... but if there's a chance she's interested then I feel I have to take it.
Thoughts? Advice?
Don't date someone you work with, if it doesn't work out the situation at work can turn nasty very quickly in the office. You have to think long term on this one in my opinion.
The end result though it is your job, your life and your choice and your actions to take responsibility for.
So here's the deal, I honestly cannot tell if I am being friendzoned here or if a coworker is actually interested in me. So I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Basically, right now we are very good friends, and are constantly chatting via IMs or sometimes we'll even leave our desks to go do work in one of the conference rooms together. It's gotten to the point now, however, that OTHER people in the office are starting to make subtle (and some not so subtle) remarks about her and I. This is something I've noticed but haven't really brought it up with her. This morning, apparently someone made a comment about it to her, and she brought it up with me, but again, I couldn't get a read on if she had a double meaning behind it. This also lead to her saying, "I can't believe more people here don't hook up." I of course said that it could be dangerous, and some places that could get you fired. She immediately then went to look up to see if our office had a policy regarding it (they didnt). Then we decided to go out to lunch together, which we've never done alone.
So now I am completely confused on how to handle this. Truth is, I really dig her and would love to date her, but we have a real good thing going right now and I'd hate to ruin that or make it awkward. I was thinking one way to possible approach this is by just asking her if she's noticed people making comments about it, and kind of go from there.
I know everyone is going to say "dont stick your pen in the company ink, don't crap where you eat," and I really would love to stick to that rule... but if there's a chance she's interested then I feel I have to take it.
Thoughts? Advice?
My attitude when it comes to dating coworkers, if your not willing to lose your job over it don't get involved.
I know many people meet their spouse at work, I know it makes sense as we spend most of our time at work but that said even if your company doesn't have a policy against it it can often cause friction in the workplace, causes gossip among other coworkers, will it affect your work if your in a relationship and fighting? What will happen if you two break up? Would one of you not be able to take a promotion if you were dating because it would put you in a position over the other?
When I was younger and working retail jobs and stuff during college I dated coworkers, now that I'm actually starting a career I would never dream of it.
So here's the deal, I honestly cannot tell if I am being friendzoned here or if a coworker is actually interested in me. So I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Basically, right now we are very good friends, and are constantly chatting via IMs or sometimes we'll even leave our desks to go do work in one of the conference rooms together. It's gotten to the point now, however, that OTHER people in the office are starting to make subtle (and some not so subtle) remarks about her and I. This is something I've noticed but haven't really brought it up with her. This morning, apparently someone made a comment about it to her, and she brought it up with me, but again, I couldn't get a read on if she had a double meaning behind it. This also lead to her saying, "I can't believe more people here don't hook up." I of course said that it could be dangerous, and some places that could get you fired. She immediately then went to look up to see if our office had a policy regarding it (they didnt). Then we decided to go out to lunch together, which we've never done alone.
So now I am completely confused on how to handle this. Truth is, I really dig her and would love to date her, but we have a real good thing going right now and I'd hate to ruin that or make it awkward. I was thinking one way to possible approach this is by just asking her if she's noticed people making comments about it, and kind of go from there.
I know everyone is going to say "dont stick your pen in the company ink, don't crap where you eat," and I really would love to stick to that rule... but if there's a chance she's interested then I feel I have to take it.
Thoughts? Advice?
First thing's first. I'd change your CD handle. It's really hard to give you objective advice if you think that name reflects your personality.
Second, unless this is the most amazing woman in the entire world, I'd say hands off. If she really matters that much to you, then find another job and pick things up with her. Because if things fall flat between the two of you, work is going to get really, really awkward.
My attitude when it comes to dating coworkers, if your not willing to lose your job over it don't get involved.
I know many people meet their spouse at work, I know it makes sense as we spend most of our time at work but that said even if your company doesn't have a policy against it it can often cause friction in the workplace, causes gossip among other coworkers, will it affect your work if your in a relationship and fighting? What will happen if you two break up? Would one of you not be able to take a promotion if you were dating because it would put you in a position over the other?
When I was younger and working retail jobs and stuff during college I dated coworkers, now that I'm actually starting a career I would never dream of it.
Life's short, so take the plunge. Usually people are advised never to have affairs at work but let's face it, millions of people do just that. The only potential bad thing is that if and when you break up, it's going to be hell to keep working with her. I've seen this in action countless times among former lovers at work.
Also, and this is huge: do NOT tell people at work about your personal relationship. In fact, I would ignore her totally at work and never let anyone know about any possible romance. Gossip destroys careers. Be extremely discrete if you go down this path.
It's understandable that you are unsure of her interest. I would be unsure too if I were in your shoes. Since you are still unsure I'd just remain friends with her. There's nothing wrong with having a little crush, plus you don't have to give up the harmony at your work.
Maybe start looking at dating other women outside of work as well?
I have quite a big crush on one of my coworkers and I definitely know there is something between us...but neither one of us will EVER make a move because we work together. In fact, we're a bit of a long running joke in my dept. because it's so obvious...they even refer to us as 'Mr. and Mrs. ___' and joke around that we're a married couple.
He's got about a year and a half until he starts looking for a new job and then we'll see after that
I've dated coworkers and it's rarely a good idea.
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