Wife wants me to go on vacation by myself (wives, girlfriend, dance)
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Wake up and react. That's exactly what I'm trying to do, but what does that mean? Does that mean go partying with her? Buy her flowers? Give her a week alone? What should I do?
"Sure, honey, I'll go on vacation if you'll pay for it."
If she says, "yes," hide a camera in the bedroom before you go.
If she says "no," then you know it's not so much about having time alone as about trying to make it clear that she's miserable.
Which, honestly, if she's telling you she is, you should have been doing something about a while ago. Although the ultimate responsibility for her happiness lies on her shoulders, she's not happy with your marriage, and that is something both of you are responsible for.
I'm not quick to recommend counseling, but I think the two of you could use it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineleith
This is exactly what I was thinking. And the locks changed. And divorce papers filed. And the bank account cleared. Nah. If she needs time to think, SHE should go on vacation - get out of her own environment with all its distractions. Somewhere neutral.
The question is why are you still there? If my wife/gf told me I give her a black hole in her soul i'd be out so fast there would be a little trail of fire behind me.
That smells like ulterior motive territory to me. She wants you to be gone for awhile.
Yep, that's pretty much how I see it as well. I can't speculate speculate what that motive is but it seems to me that she has her mind made up to make some changes. I can tell you one thing, I wouldn't be going on any type of vacation. I'd be spending my time more constructively by preparing for the worst (i.e. scouting out new living arrangements).
My biggest concern is that she won't entertain the idea of counseling because she feels that the counselor would put the responsibility of their fractured relationship solely on her shoulders. My first thought upon reading that was that she did not want an experienced counselor to stumble upon something that didn't quite reflect the storyline of a person looking for reconciliation.
At any rate, it looks as if she's ready to make some sort of change if she hasn't done so already. I wouldn't pave an easier road for her by leaving town for a solo vacation.
If it were me I would definitely check with an attorney before doing anything as divorce laws are very state specific and sometimes are very illogical.
A friend of ours wife was having an affair pretty openly asntheor marriage was ending and the guy wanted to leave. His attorney said do not leave the house for any unusual amount of time no matter what even if she brought several guys in and had her way with them on the living room floor because leaving can definitely hurt you later down the road. They did have a kid and that was part of it.
Who knows what may happen as certainly some pretty crazy scenarios have been laid out here, but at the very least you should talk to an lawyer so they can do the things they do to protect you. It does seem quite suspicious that she is asking YOU to leave IMO.
This actually strikes a cord with me as my wife and I are in a very similar place as I have begged her for years to address some things and I have finally gotten so sick I just don't know if I can deal with it any more and am not sure if I love her anymore (we are getting ready to start some counseling) of course I would never take all our stuff and leave like that, but evidently some people will based on posts here.
Wake up and react. That's exactly what I'm trying to do, but what does that mean? Does that mean go partying with her? Buy her flowers? Give her a week alone? What should I do?
It means fighting for your marriage. I am sending you a DM with a link.
Yes! pLease OP, secure your porfolio ASAP!! Gain control...contact a lawyer & keep him posted. No is the time to get closer to other women that may be attracted & interested, someone you know likes you man. Take a deserving female friend on this vacation. Please clean your accounts OP. please!
Bad idea. In the event this situation ends in divorce, this will make him look very bad. In addition to making an unhappy and chaotic situation into an even worse one.
He needs to resolve the issues in this first relationship one way or another before he begins a new one.
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