How do you deal with rejection? (guys, Valentine, younger, couple)
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I developed an incredible crush on a co-worker and for reasons I can not go into, I know there is no chance of me ever being able to act upon it and approach her. I feel for starters she is way above me in her league. It is difficult enough at work to keep at my job and its responsibilities already. I get very few chances to see her during the day. Usually it is at the employee lounge or if we cross paths in the back office. There is too much close-knittedness to our company and it would be the death spiral for me if others got wind of my interest in her and embarked upon the gossip route. My heart aches but I know intellectually I have to let this go. I have gotten as crazy as to look at her facebook page and I feel like I am snooping into her life and that is not how I want to be. I would just want her to know I think she is most beautiful women I have ever seen but there is no way of doing that without coming across as a creep. How does one get over a crush?
Two ways:
1) You either tell her how you feel about her, or..
2) Just admire her from afar and keep your feelings to yourself.
From what you said, I'd keep my feelings to myself, especially at your place of business.
Are your sure it's even appropriate in your company to date coworkers? If you're sure it is then approach her, but be prepared for her to be uninterested (and if she hesitates she's uninterested, do not pursue it further). If she is not interested, make it clear you understand and no hard feelings and then think about something else. She's far from the only fish in the sea. If it's not appropriate in your company why would you even want to tell her anything? Good luck.
Are your sure it's even appropriate in your company to date coworkers? If you're sure it is then approach her, but be prepared for her to be uninterested (and if she hesitates she's uninterested, do not pursue it further). If she is not interested, make it clear you understand and no hard feelings and then think about something else. She's far from the only fish in the sea. If it's not appropriate in your company why would you even want to tell her anything? Good luck.
The company is fine with co-workers dating. We have a few couples here doing such. I have been reading the replies and they have been helpful. Luckily, for peace of mind, the woman I am gaga over will be away for a few weeks on vacation I believe. Truthfully, unless you know how it feels in your heart to desire someone or the thoughts of what an intriguing person may be like as a friend or more, it is not a feeling that feels like it has resolution except for time healing the pain of questions of what if she or he could be someone who could the best thing that ever came along in your life. It is me though that has fallen into this through no real intent. It has just happened. I know time will allow for this to pass. It always has in past cases where I fell for someone and was straightened out by her letting me know that I was not to bother them again.Usually they would just ignore my attempts at courtship. I have been down this road before. I just know how rough the road is for me and how it might be this time again.
The company is fine with co-workers dating. We have a few couples here doing such. I have been reading the replies and they have been helpful. Luckily, for peace of mind, the woman I am gaga over will be away for a few weeks on vacation I believe. Truthfully, unless you know how it feels in your heart to desire someone or the thoughts of what an intriguing person may be like as a friend or more, it is not a feeling that feels like it has resolution except for time healing the pain of questions of what if she or he could be someone who could the best thing that ever came along in your life. It is me though that has fallen into this through no real intent. It has just happened. I know time will allow for this to pass. It always has in past cases where I fell for someone and was straightened out by her letting me know that I was not to bother them again.Usually they would just ignore my attempts at courtship. I have been down this road before. I just know how rough the road is for me and how it might be this time again.
We've all been through this feeling in our teenage years... after you're 22-23 years old, you shouldn't really be thinking like this anymore.
It isn't about, what if she is the best thing in your life? If she's into you , you find out by asking... if she's not.. f*ck her she's not worth your time.
We've all been through this feeling in our teenage years... after you're 22-23 years old, you shouldn't really be thinking like this anymore.
It isn't about, what if she is the best thing in your life? If she's into you , you find out by asking... if she's not.. f*ck her she's not worth your time.
Have some self respect!!
You know why I posted to this forum? I needed opinions. This is not exactly the kind of story I can ask a co-worker about. It is not their problem and my interests would be the tip of the iceberg for maybe making her feel uncomfortable around me that much more so. I do not think she is married but I just do not know much more of her relationship status. Most here said to let it go. I have to, I know. If there is something that is meant to be, then my waking up to her possible interest in me will maybe let me do more than just give her a smile or so that I have when she talked to me or made some attempts to have me speak with her in the past. You gotta understand, the last thing I want is her to stop being the way she was with me if she senses I am taking it the wrong way. All I want her to know is that she is someone I think is highly desirable from what I know about her. To me, if I knew she was happy in her life, that is all I could possibly want and then I could move on. You see, the pain of rejection means someone has to say no to your advances usually. I do not ever see it as a positive thing for someone to have suffer through my ill-attempts to gain their interest. I know far too well my threshold for pain but my heart can not just quit doing what it does.
You know why I posted to this forum? I needed opinions. This is not exactly the kind of story I can ask a co-worker about. It is not their problem and my interests would be the tip of the iceberg for maybe making her feel uncomfortable around me that much more so. I do not think she is married but I just do not know much more of her relationship status. Most here said to let it go. I have to, I know. If there is something that is meant to be, then my waking up to her possible interest in me will maybe let me do more than just give her a smile or so that I have when she talked to me or made some attempts to have me speak with her in the past. You gotta understand, the last thing I want is her to stop being the way she was with me if she senses I am taking it the wrong way. All I want her to know is that she is someone I think is highly desirable from what I know about her. To me, if I knew she was happy in her life, that is all I could possibly want and then I could move on. You see, the pain of rejection means someone has to say no to your advances usually. I do not ever see it as a positive thing for someone to have suffer through my ill-attempts to gain their interest. I know far too well my threshold for pain but my heart can not just quit doing what it does.
Good grief
How can you "let something go" that you NEVER had a hold of??
And why did you never have a hold of it?
Because you won't just man up and give her the chance to even reject you!
You are too busy treating yourself like some reject to just do what most men would - TALK TO HER and find out what's up.
So far you haven't been rejected. But in the event that you are in fact rejected by her, just roll with the punch, be polite, forgiving, and by all means look for someone that's as or more beautiful than her
By the way, your perceptions are leading you to believe that's she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Someday you will realize that one's perceptions are often misleading. Beauty is not just what one perceives when looking at a person, but a combination of how the person is inside and out. With time you will figure that there are a lot of beautiful people all around, if you only take the time to "see it."
You know why I posted to this forum? I needed opinions. This is not exactly the kind of story I can ask a co-worker about. It is not their problem and my interests would be the tip of the iceberg for maybe making her feel uncomfortable around me that much more so. I do not think she is married but I just do not know much more of her relationship status. Most here said to let it go. I have to, I know. If there is something that is meant to be, then my waking up to her possible interest in me will maybe let me do more than just give her a smile or so that I have when she talked to me or made some attempts to have me speak with her in the past. You gotta understand, the last thing I want is her to stop being the way she was with me if she senses I am taking it the wrong way. All I want her to know is that she is someone I think is highly desirable from what I know about her. To me, if I knew she was happy in her life, that is all I could possibly want and then I could move on. You see, the pain of rejection means someone has to say no to your advances usually. I do not ever see it as a positive thing for someone to have suffer through my ill-attempts to gain their interest. I know far too well my threshold for pain but my heart can not just quit doing what it does.
Your "heart"?
Dude what are you talking about? You mean "penis" right?
You can't possibly be saying you're in love with her? You don't even know this woman. You sound like a teenager "in love".
Sigh...sad.
Let it go dude. She won't be interested. I'm sure of it.
Okay, my eyes are bad so may I have missed something, but I don't see the part says she has rejected you???? I don't see what level of interaction you've had with her, either. Just befriend her first and let things run their course before you worry about rejection.
If you want to know how to get over a crush, just convince yourself that whatever choice you end up making (going for it or leaving it alone) is the best decision you can make at that particular point in time. Yes, we all wonder about what ifs but they are nothing but fantasies; we all need to do (or avoid doing) things based on rationality. And since she is your coworker and you seem to have great worries about potential gossip, then it probably is in your best interest to hold your horses.
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