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If it doesn't make sense to you, don't do it. I'm still old fashioned in some ways and I think it is gentlemanly to pick up the check. Just because men and women are equal under the law as citizens doesn't mean that romance has become obsolete. Just my two cents. For the record - I've said this many, many times - I ALWAYS offered to pay. And I paid for my share of dates, too. But on the first few dates, most gentleman usually pick up the tab or at least try to. Oh - and before everyone gets their panties in a wad - I'm mostly a SAHM right now and I do pretty much all the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our little one. And I'm perfectly happy to do so.
Still doesn't make any sense.
And "gentlemanly" is just another word for "respectable sucker" to pick up your tab.
I think some are missing the point though, a man choosing to behave in such a manner should not be subject for admiration anymore than he should be for shame. If he chooses to behave in such a way, then so be it.
You say you cook clean, etc etc...But I highly doubt you feel obligated in doing so simply because your a woman. And I suspect that most women would feel he same if a man stated that it was a woman's duty" to take care of them in such a way.
If it doesn't make sense to you, don't do it. I'm still old fashioned in some ways and I think it is gentlemanly to pick up the check. Just because men and women are equal under the law as citizens doesn't mean that romance has become obsolete. Just my two cents. For the record - I've said this many, many times - I ALWAYS offered to pay. And I paid for my share of dates, too. But on the first few dates, most gentleman usually pick up the tab or at least try to.
Agreed. Not every first date I've been on has been the standard dinner date, but for those that were I was asked by the guy (i.e. he offered to host the evening) and when I offered to pay my share or at least leave the tip, the offer was uniformly refused. It's not so much old-fashioned as it is common courtesy. I wouldn't invite people to a dinner party at my house and expect them to bring their own food.
Still confused why romance=men (or anyone for that matter) spending $$$. But hey, maybe that's just me.
The way it's explained is that you appear to be "cheap" (i.e. lack of a good provider) if you don't pay for their meals because you have a pair between your legs.
You raise a good point though, what does "romance" have to do with who pays for dinner?
It's funny having to listen to people comment on how there aren't that many gentlemen nowadays. I mean, really? Compared to when exactly? Oh yea! The time when we had an armada of militantly chivalrous men paying for every date, standing up whenever the woman leaves the table, walking to the other side of car to open her door, wooing women (whatever that means), etc, all in effort to show their love, respect and adoration for women, but at the same time, subjecting them to asinine levels of societal marginalization. Yea, life must have been pretty awesome when gentlemen flooded the streets.
Still confused why romance=men (or anyone for that matter) spending $$$. But hey, maybe that's just me.
Because activities and items women consider romantic cost money and since the storybook ideal is men doing anything they can to win the lady over this is what women are conditioned to desire from the time they are old enough to crawl and maybe even before then.
Cinderella needed a fancy dress created by magical mice, a fairy godmother to tend to her every need and to have objects transfigured into a magical carriage to whisk her away to a ball where she meets prince charming who is only left her enchanted glass slipper as a clue to find her.
Princess Aurora needed a magical kiss from a prince who could fight off a woman who could transfigure herself into a dragon.
Ariel needed a man who could figure out sign language, believe in magical mermaids and be willing to fight off sea creatures.
Fairytales have been setting unrealistic expectations into the hearts and minds of women everywhere for generations.
The way it's explained is that you appear to be "cheap" (i.e. lack of a good provider) if you don't pay for their meals because you have a pair between your legs.
You raise a good point though, what does "romance" have to do with who pays for dinner?
Are you against men opening the door and pulling out chairs also?
We've always been physically fit enough to do that.
It's funny having to listen to people comment on how there aren't that many gentlemen nowadays. I mean, really? Compared to when exactly? Oh yea! The time when we had an armada of militantly chivalrous men paying for every date, standing up whenever the woman leaves the table, walking to the other side of car to open her door, wooing women (whatever that means), etc, all in effort to show their love, respect and adoration for women, but at the same time, subjecting them to asinine levels of societal marginalization. Yea, life must have been pretty awesome when gentlemen flooded the streets.
Women back then were also expected to know their place and serve their husbands faithfully and not only keep up their appearance but run a good household.
I don't blame men for acting the way they do now. Women lowered their quality with the feminist movement in the 1960's and it has been downhill since then. If women want a gentleman they better be prepared to look like Marilyn, keep an award winning home, have dinner waiting for their husband when he walks through the door and present herself as a mature, classy woman that any man would be lucky to have.
Why should men be expected to pull out all of the old fashioned gentleman like stops when they aren't getting the quality women they used to? I can't say I blame them.
Sure we women take for granted the notion that all men should behave like gentlemen or else they are scum but do we ever stop to think that we need to keep up our own personal standards if we want that treatment? Of course not.
Because activities and items women consider romantic cost money and since the storybook ideal is men doing anything they can to win the lady over this is what women are conditioned to desire from the time they are old enough to crawl and maybe even before then.
Cinderella needed a fancy dress created by magical mice, a fairy godmother to tend to her every need and to have objects transfigured into a magical carriage to whisk her away to a ball where she meets prince charming who is only left her enchanted glass slipper as a clue to find her.
Princess Aurora needed a magical kiss from a prince who could fight off a woman who could transfigure herself into a dragon.
Ariel needed a man who could figure out sign language, believe in magical mermaids and be willing to fight off sea creatures.
Fairytales have been setting unrealistic expectations into the hearts and minds of women everywhere for generations.
But I also think if a man offers to take a woman out to dinner on a date, she's not expecting the moon if she expects him to pay for her meal. That's what he offered when he asked her out.
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), etc, all in effort to show their love, respect and adoration for women, but at the same time, subjecting them to asinine levels of societal marginalization. Yea, life must have been pretty awesome when gentlemen flooded the streets.
