Cannot get over this woman... (clothes, friendship, relation, difference)
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Oh, how magnanimous of you, to keep stringing along your girlfriend when the mere thought of another woman gives you wood.
Get over yourself and do the right thing.
Some of these replies are a little harsh, I think.
How do you know there's no chance for "Woman B" ? If he were able to get the thoughts of "Woman A" out of his head, things with "Woman B" could become great.
I don't understand why he needs to dump someone he cares about at this time. Sure, he should have waited before starting a relationship with "Woman B", but it's too late for "should haves".
What he needs to do is completely stop texting "Woman A" now, and if he can't stop doing that, then clearly he's no good for "Woman B". But I think at this point, it's too early to come to that conclusion.
To be fair, my original post is exaggerated a bit. There have been times where I have been with Woman B for a few days in a row and we just had a great time with not many thoughts of Woman A in my head. It's cyclical...
For instance, I spoke to Woman A last week, told her that I had an official GF, and told her what I was doing for Valentine's Day and such and asked her if she had any prospects. She said no and that she wasn't even looking.
Then, over the weekend she changes her Facebook picture to her with some dude. And the dude has the same photo as his main. Can someone tell me what the f@ck is up with that? Seeing that upset me and I knew I still wasn't over her. I've been obsessing about her since. God ... I'm such a d@uchebag.
Anyway, Woman B has just encountered an emergency and I have to help her deal with it.
This is getting specific. I hope neither of them ever get a hold of this thread...
You need to either stop contacting this "Woman A" and stop going to her facebook page right now, or go seek therapy. This "Woman A" is NEVER going to go out with you. That is a fact. I'm sorry. .
That's my opinion. You are not helping yourself at all by continuing to communicate with this woman.
Does anybody think it's a bad idea to tell Woman A upfront that I'm still into her, can't deal with it and I'm cutting her out of my life, facebook, email, texts, etc.
I like this option because it will simultaneously a) remove her from my life and b) erase the minute lingering doubt in my head that she still might somehow like me.
I know it makes me look like a wuss, but I gave it the macho try and I can't deal. I'm getting old and no longer feel the need to hide my true thoughts and emotions in cases like these...
No, I don't think it's a bad idea. If that's what it takes for you to make a clean break with her, do it. Now.
Yes, I do think it would be a mistake. To my mind, it sounds like you're trying to get a reaction from her. To what end, I'm not sure, but it sounds sorta obsessive.
When I really want to cut someone out of my life, I don't announce it ... I just do it.
I mean, let's face it. You never had a relationship with Woman A, so you cannot really love her. You don't even know what she's like as a partner. So ... think about this carefully before you respond: are you sure this isn't simply more about your ego taking a tumble rather than your heart?
Not everybody's the same. Some people have to announce that their going to stop doing something that's hard to stop in order to do it. Not everybody is as emotionally tough as you are.
If I were he, I'd word it something like this ...
Hi (Woman A),
Hey, you know, I've enjoyed talking with you, and as you know, I like you. But I've just got to stop texting you and stuff. I have a girlfriend now, and I can't just think of you as a friend. I was interested in you & it didn't work out & it's over now. I need to move on, and I need to stop texting and emailing you right away.
I hope you enjoy life's journeys wherever they take you. I enjoyed being your friend.
You don't have to be so dramatic. Just tell her that you think it'd be best for both of you (or heck, just you) if you stopped talking and went your separate ways.
Yeah, it could just be a short simple sentence like that. Good post. I hope he does it.
News Flash: Thoughts are NOT uncontrollable and neither are feelings, even for a twit.
I have never dated any boy who is shallow or selfish. By the way your original post title " Cannot get over this woman... " shows in your own words what your relationship with the current girl truly is since she is NOT the one you " Cannot get over this woman... "
Maybe so. But thoughts and feelings are very difficult to control. For some people more than others. I guess for you they're easier to control.
I'm a lot older than you think. But my relationship experience is not par for my age, not by a long shot.
I'm not your normal stud who goes through 2 or 3 rebound girls after being dumped to get to the next relationship. My relationships are few and far between and I really care for those women.
Anyway, I know what you're getting at. It DOES make sense to me. I just don't think it's a good idea to give up a good thing like Woman B right now. I'm pretty sure I can be all there for her in short time. I've gotten over the others who rejected me and I'll get over this one. It's just taking a lot longer than I expected. I've been rejected a lot in my life. It's messed me up pretty bad I think.
Anyway, thanks for your advice.
You'll be there for her in short time if you stop texting Woman A. Have you commited to stopping texting Woman A yet ?
You might want to listen to her so knows what she's talking about. Your replacing A with B & you can't see it. Your scared to let go of B even though your going to end up hurting her down the road. There are more then a few of us who have been down this road before. Keep heading down the road your on & you'll end up alone.
Some of you aren't even giving him a chance. I don't get it.
Why not let him stop texting woman A first & see if that works before writing him off ?
Some of you aren't even giving him a chance. I don't get it.
Why not let him stop texting woman A first & see if that works before writing him off ?
He talks like he can't stop staying in contact with this women in other words he can't help himself. Until he stops cold turkey he's playing with fire. Sooner or later girl B is going to figure it out. If she finds out she won't stick around for him. I can't see a women sticking around with a guy who has the hotts for another. He has shuned everyone who had tried to give him some advice. I'm starting to believe he wants them both if he can have it.
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