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He talks like he can't stop staying in contact with this women in other words he can't help himself. Until he stops cold turkey he's playing with fire. Sooner or later girl B is going to figure it out. If she finds out she won't stick around for him.
He talks like he can't stop staying in contact with this women in other words he can't help himself. Until he stops cold turkey he's playing with fire. Sooner or later girl B is going to figure it out. If she finds out she won't stick around for him. I can't see a women sticking around with a guy who has the hotts for another. He has shuned everyone who had tried to give him some advice. I'm starting to believe he wants them both if he can have it.
I definitely agree with the bolded part. I hope the rest isn't true.
He talks like he can't stop staying in contact with this women in other words he can't help himself. Until he stops cold turkey he's playing with fire. Sooner or later girl B is going to figure it out. If she finds out she won't stick around for him. I can't see a women sticking around with a guy who has the hotts for another. He has shuned everyone who had tried to give him some advice. I'm starting to believe he wants them both if he can have it.
It doesn't seem like he's guilty of anything.
Minus his obsessive thoughts, this is pretty much an everyday situation.
Excellent point. This is probably the most destructive way your mind sets you up for failure and disappointment in relationships.
In psychiatry there is actually a pejorative word for obsessing too much over someone who will never love you back. I think it is called masochism or something and a masochist is basically someone who "loves" pain.
Some of you aren't even giving him a chance. I don't get it.
Why not let him stop texting woman A first & see if that works before writing him off ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros
Some of these replies are a little harsh, I think.
How do you know there's no chance for "Woman B" ? If he were able to get the thoughts of "Woman A" out of his head, things with "Woman B" could become great.
I don't understand why he needs to dump someone he cares about at this time. Sure, he should have waited before starting a relationship with "Woman B", but it's too late for "should haves".
What he needs to do is completely stop texting "Woman A" now, and if he can't stop doing that, then clearly he's no good for "Woman B". But I think at this point, it's too early to come to that conclusion.
Just reading this. Thanks for the advice.
I've completely erased Woman A from all of my facebook and phone contacts. Hopefully I'll never have to deal with her again in my life. Not that she was all that bad. I just wanted her to be something she wasn't.
I read something awhile ago that said, "Immediately cut contact with women who reject you, and only if they contact you first consider friendship". It sounded great, unfortunately, I couldn't follow it. The pull was too strong.
I realize now just how great of a person Woman B is and how lucky I am to have a person who cares for me and treats me as a friend the way she does.
If I do decide to let her go, I'll be the one who will be devastated.
Months ago, I fell pretty hard for a co-worker of mine who I spent a lot of time with. Let's call her Woman A. When I went for her, she subsequently rejected me. It messed me up pretty bad.
I decided to subsequently limit contact with her and start dating other women. I also no longer work at that place.
One of the women I started dating really took a liking to me and I like her too. She is really sweet and I like many things about her. She is my girlfriend now and has been since the new year. Let's call her Woman B.
Here's the problem. I cannot get Woman A out of my head. I think about her all the time. I think about her more than my girlfriend, I think about her while I'm having sex with my girlfriend. While I'm taking my girlfriend to Valentine's Day dinner, thoughts come into my head of what it would be like to be there with Woman A. Like just thinking about Woman A with clothes on makes me sexually aroused. It's REALLY bad. And it's not like there's a big difference between them in physical attractiveness. There isn't.
At first, I was just like, it's stupid emotional residue, it'll fade. But it has not. It's been over four months. I do keep in contact with Woman A, but it's very limited. Only text or facebook maybe once a month. I try really hard to block it out. It bothers me a lot that I can't stop thinking about her and it's not really fair to my girlfriend either (though she has no clue).
I guess this is more of a vent. I am not going to break up with my girlfriend. But anybody ever in a similar situation could chime in.
depends if they feeling fades with time (weeks / months), if it doesn't it could be unhealthy.
ask your girlfriend if she thinks of any guys when you guys are intimate with one another, but then again you'll never know if she doesn't tell you.
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