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Does anybody think it's a bad idea to tell Woman A upfront that I can't deal with her and I'm cutting her out of my life, facebook, email, texts, etc.
I know it makes me look like a wuss, but I gave it the macho try and I can't deal. I'm getting old and no longer feel the need to hide my true thoughts and emotions in cases like these...
Yes, I do think it would be a mistake. To my mind, it sounds like you're trying to get a reaction from her. To what end, I'm not sure, but it sounds sorta obsessive.
When I really want to cut someone out of my life, I don't announce it ... I just do it.
I mean, let's face it. You never had a relationship with Woman A, so you cannot really love her. You don't even know what she's like as a partner. So ... think about this carefully before you respond: are you sure this isn't simply more about your ego taking a tumble rather than your heart?
Does anybody think it's a bad idea to tell Woman A upfront that I can't deal with her and I'm cutting her out of my life, facebook, email, texts, etc.
I know it makes me look like a wuss, but I gave it the macho try and I can't deal. I'm getting old and no longer feel the need to hide my true thoughts and emotions in cases like these...
You don't have to be so dramatic. Just tell her that you think it'd be best for both of you (or heck, just you) if you stopped talking and went your separate ways.
Because I didn't know that it would upset me. I'm trying to be mature about the issue. I have kept female friends who have rejected me before as friends and at least one of them has become a real good friend. Of course, I don't really see A becoming that.
But you're right. I'm going to cut what little contact I have with her. God. I don't know why the f@ck human emotions have to be like this...
Luckily you can be mature while basically maintaining a acquaintance-type relationship with her. We're not meant to be friends with everyone.
I think once you're distanced from A you can enjoy your relationship with B more than you have. Emotions are tough to deal with, but don't beat yourself up for feeling a certain way. You probably should've taken things slower with B but now that you're here I think you're headed in the right direction. (
To be fair, my original post is exaggerated a bit. There have been times where I have been with Woman B for a few days in a row and we just had a great time with not many thoughts of Woman A in my head. It's cyclical...
For instance, I spoke to Woman A last week, told her that I had an official GF, and told her what I was doing for Valentine's Day and such and asked her if she had any prospects. She said no and that she wasn't even looking.
Then, over the weekend she changes her Facebook picture to her with some dude. And the dude has the same photo as his main. Can someone tell me what the f@ck is up with that? Seeing that upset me and I knew I still wasn't over her. I've been obsessing about her since. God ... I'm such a d@uchebag.
Anyway, Woman B has just encountered an emergency and I have to help her deal with it.
This is getting specific. I hope neither of them ever get a hold of this thread...
Well, then! I'm glad I amuse you.
So, that line before your purple sad face? It reminded me of a song by one of my all-time favorite bands. Please take no offense. But yeah, THAT was pretty funny! (Also, lyrics NSFW: language.)
[youtube]yyFhEF2pl0w[/youtube]
The bottom line is that she's with someone else, and you need to get past it. It's not fair to your girlfriend, either. If you can't be present in your relationship with her, the honorable thing to do would be to let her go.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,004,411 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette
Well, then! I'm glad I amuse you.
So, that line before your purple sad face? It reminded me of a song by one of my all-time favorite bands. Please take no offense. But yeah, THAT was pretty funny! (Also, lyrics NSFW: language.)
The bottom line is that she's with someone else, and you need to get past it. It's not fair to your girlfriend, either. If you can't be present in your relationship with her, the honorable thing to do would be to let her go.
I don't believe.......I don't believe.........that I listened to that entire song.....
Months ago, I fell pretty hard for a co-worker of mine who I spent a lot of time with. Let's call her Woman A. When I went for her, she subsequently rejected me. It messed me up pretty bad.
I decided to subsequently limit contact with her and start dating other women. I also no longer work at that place.
One of the women I started dating really took a liking to me and I like her too. She is really sweet and I like many things about her. She is my girlfriend now and has been since the new year. Let's call her Woman B.
Here's the problem. I cannot get Woman A out of my head. I think about her all the time. I think about her more than my girlfriend, I think about her while I'm having sex with my girlfriend. While I'm taking my girlfriend to Valentine's Day dinner, thoughts come into my head of what it would be like to be there with Woman A. Like just thinking about Woman A with clothes on makes me sexually aroused. It's REALLY bad. And it's not like there's a big difference between them in physical attractiveness. There isn't.
At first, I was just like, it's stupid emotional residue, it'll fade. But it has not. It's been over four months. I do keep in contact with Woman A, but it's very limited. Only text or facebook maybe once a month. I try really hard to block it out. It bothers me a lot that I can't stop thinking about her and it's not really fair to my girlfriend either (though she has no clue).
I guess this is more of a vent. I am not going to break up with my girlfriend. But anybody ever in a similar situation could chime in.
So you know it is not fair to your current girlfriend but you are not going to break up with her, wow, shallow and selfish all rolled into one guy.
So you know it is not fair to your current girlfriend but you are not going to break up with her, wow, shallow and selfish all rolled into one guy.
Ummm...
You don't know anything about my relationship and how much I care about my girlfriend in a tangible sense and how much I'm there for her.
Just because I have involuntary, uncontrollable feelings for some other twit doesn't mean I care for my girlfriend any less.
If I didn't give a sh*t, I'd just go around lusting after other women and ACTING on it, and not even thinking twice about it. Lots of guys do that. Maybe YOU'VE dated them...
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