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You have to start your own life before you start some one elses. And I'm over 50 and feel so very blessed to never have been burdened with kids. Oh what a fulfilled life I would have missed out on had I been cursed with kids to worry about.
You will have to put up with others telling you you have to have them cause it's expected of you. Ignore them all. While they are sitting home feeding babies and changing crappy diapers you can go out and enjoy what life has to offer any time you please.
TO the OP. If this is the way you feel, please do not have children. Children take a lot of time and energy, and you sacrifice a lot in order to raise them. You don't sound like that's for you, and a child of yours would probably be lacking in the things they need that you are not able to supply. Hence, don't have children. You'll be happier.
Hopefully not, because I think the same thing. I do not want kids now (and maybe forever) because I feel I am too selfish. I need a lot of time for myself, and it's hard enough for me to keep a gf and a few good friends, much less more friends, extended family, and KIDS. I know I can't handle it, so I won't have them. Selfish? Probably, but what is the point of kids if I don't have the means/capabilities to raise them properly?
I work 50 plus hours a week and i'm not lazy when it comes to working etc.
but i value my personal time,
i want to be able to go back to grad school, move or travel when I want too with freedom.
I am still into childish things, like comic books, cartoons, star trek etc.
My cat is enough work for me.
Is this wrong? weird?
You are NOT wrong, nor are you anything approaching weird...you sound to these old ears as though you have thought things through, and are exercising your right as an adult to make a conscious decision not to have children...
Said decision does not make you wrong, or weird, or a donkey-head LOL...it makes you someone isn't going to let others tell you what to do or how to live, and that makes you beyond OK in my book...now, am I by the same token, condemning anyone who CHOOSES to have children? No, not at all...
But I echo the sentiments of other posters here who say those who do decide to have kids should make their choices carefully, and be sure they are mentally, emotionally, and finacially ready to take that step---same as I would hope they would think through any non-child related decisions as well...
And just for the record, your love of certain things is not childish by any stretch of the imagination...hell, I'm 56 years old, and I have dropped big cash getting box sets of my favorite old TV shows (Lost In Space, Kolchak-The Night Stalker, Ultraman---and STILL plan to get the complete Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea), and Mrs Catfish and I have NEVER had a problem with that...so you can tell anyone who thinks you're not hip, cool, trendy, or you're so 27 seconds ago, that they can take a nice stroll off a nearby convenient cliff
I would never not have kids simply because I value my personal time and felt that having kids would interfere with that.
However, I have chosen not to have kids (and if you are a guy - the "chosing" part requires you get a vasectomy and keep having sex) because there are and have been things in my life that are WAY more important than just personal time.
For example. I had to pay for all of my own college education, myself. I was never really that interested in having to do that twice in my lifetime, especially for another person, child or not.
At one point, I spent over five years as a guitar tech and FOH engineer for touring bands and have been around the world numerous times. That would have been impossible if I had kids, or at least would have required a divorce and then child support without ever seeing my kids.
I skydive and take that part of my life very seriously. So seriously that there have been situations where I do not think that I should have ever had kids - especially when the door to a Cessna 182 opens at 12k feet and I jump out of it. Even more so once when I pulled my main and had a total bag lock malfunction and had to pull my reserve. The only thing worse than death would be leaving behind orphans or subjecting my kids to having to grow up with whatever narcissisticaly self absorbed woman I previously had sex with. There are many days when gearing up that I think it would have been selfish to have had kids, all things considered.
And I like never having to answer to anyone, ever and doing whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And having kids would have impacted my ability to live my life the way that I have. I would rather be able to take off on two days notice to meet up with a hot flight attendant in Cabo and spend a week redefining the meaning of the word orgasm over 20 different ways than have to drop the kids off at daycare or school and maintain a regular schedule and boring life.
Finally, I always saw having kids as meaning that I would have to invest a large part of my life, resources, time and energy into a person other than the children as well, which meant having a wife or in a worse case scenario an ex-wife that I would bound to in some ways and legally for the duration of the amount of time that it took to raise the kids. I like my freedom and that includes my freedom to be with women without the chains of having had children binding us together and for a period of time that far exceeds what we as higher evolved primates (that struggle with monogamy) ever evolved to be in terms of maintaining and exclusive sexual relationship with another person. I would never want the fact that I had kids to directly result in having to stay with another adult (wife, girlfriend, etc) for longer than I or she wanted to, simply because we had kids.
Sky-O
Last edited by Skydive Outlaw; 02-27-2012 at 08:27 AM..
No. Also, selfish is subjective. One could argue it being selfish either way, but being selfish is not always bad.
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That Would Be A Definitive NO...
