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I don't doubt that. But I have also known people that swore at 24 they would never have children and then wanted them desperately years later when they met the right person and got married. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that people who don't want children just haven't met the right person. I'm just saying that some people simply change their minds. My husband said he'd never date an actress - and instead, he married one! Some people change their minds about things - some people don't. I don't think there is anything wrong about things either way. And I also don't think you can always predict what you are going to change your mind about in years to come.
Was your friend sure enough that she wanted sterilization?
I think that's important.
I've never met anyone who wanted sterilization that wanted kids of their own.
Was your friend sure enough that she wanted sterilization?
I think that's important.
I've never met anyone who wanted sterilization that wanted kids of their own.
She was ready to give one of her eggs away to a stranger because she was sure she didn't want children of her own.
Like I said - I'm not saying that everyone changes their minds or that nobody should get tubal ligation before a certain age - I'm just saying that sometimes, some people change their minds about things they thought they were sure of. And sometimes, some people make big decisions with out thinking things through. All you have to do is look at all the "accidental" babies to see proof of that!
She was ready to give one of her eggs away to a stranger because she was sure she didn't want children of her own.
Like I said - I'm not saying that everyone changes their minds or that nobody should get tubal ligation before a certain age - I'm just saying that sometimes, some people change their minds about things they thought they were sure of. And sometimes, some people make big decisions with out thinking things through. All you have to do is look at all the "accidental" babies to see proof of that!
Giving an egg away is a bit different from seeking sterilization.
Everyone who reaches adulthood has made decisions that they regret.
It's part of life.
No one tries to force women not to have babies; nor do they say, you'll be sorry, you don't know your own mind, you'll change your mind, etc.
And if you're going to make a mistake that you can regret but it's too late is when you've had a kid that you don't want.
What bothers me is that they won't even entertain sterilizing women unless they've had 2 kids or have reached x years.
That's patently bs.
I work 50 plus hours a week and i'm not lazy when it comes to working etc.
but i value my personal time,
i want to be able to go back to grad school, move or travel when I want too with freedom.
I am still into childish things, like comic books, cartoons, star trek etc.
My cat is enough work for me.
Is this wrong? weird?
Of course not. I think it's a very good thing to know how you feel, and be proud that you have arrived at a mature decision that will serve you best. I would suggest that you look into a vasectomy, if you have not already done so. No point in taking chances.
As a school employee who witnesses so many kids who haves selfish parents who live to do their thing and the kids get left behind, I applaud your decision.... Sad thing is, you're most likely a successful, motivated, self sufficient/self supporting young man and would have a ton of great traits to pass along to kids!!!
Giving an egg away is a bit different from seeking sterilization.
Everyone who reaches adulthood has made decisions that they regret.
It's part of life.
No one tries to force women not to have babies; nor do they say, you'll be sorry, you don't know your own mind, you'll change your mind, etc.
And if you're going to make a mistake that you can regret but it's too late is when you've had a kid that you don't want.
What bothers me is that they won't even entertain sterilizing women unless they've had 2 kids or have reached x years.
That's patently bs.
Actually - I think there are people who try to talk women (esp. teens) out of having babies. They just don't listen!
But I agree that people should have control over their own bodies. Although I will admit that it would kind of make me nervous if one of my friends wanted a tubal ligation in their early 20's. But I also can't imagine getting a tattoo because it's fairly permanent.
I work 50 plus hours a week and i'm not lazy when it comes to working etc.
but i value my personal time,
i want to be able to go back to grad school, move or travel when I want too with freedom.
I am still into childish things, like comic books, cartoons, star trek etc.
My cat is enough work for me.
Is this wrong? weird?
Absolutely not and you are wise to refrain from having them if you have no interest in raising them. I just hope that you are very honest with the women you date, and the really stand up thing to do would be to break it off with them once it's clear they really want kids and think you'll change your mind. Though I must say that I have two sons and I LOVE star trek, cartoons, and comic books and so do they. I got a BS in physics and love nerdy stuff! I admit though that I can't travel much or go to work at SETI like I used to dream of but I think my sons are worth that. Good luck!
Actually - I think there are people who try to talk women (esp. teens) out of having babies. They just don't listen!
But I agree that people should have control over their own bodies. Although I will admit that it would kind of make me nervous if one of my friends wanted a tubal ligation in their early 20's. But I also can't imagine getting a tattoo because it's fairly permanent.
When I was in my early 20's, I was certain I did not want children. As time passed though, I started realizing that I enjoyed the little ones more than I had thought I did, and I entertained the idea of adoption...maybe. And then, when I was 30, my niece was born...and when I held her...that was that. I have stated many times that having my son was the best thing, without reservations, that I ever did in my life. NOTHING has brought me more joy than he has.
That said, there are far too many children with parents that should never have become parents, and many of them did so out of a feeling of "it's what is expected of me"...and that is so very wrong. I applaud ANYONE that has reached a decision to NOT have kids, due to their own inner reflection and consideration of what they really want out of life. And those people need to follow this up with sterilization...ASAP.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 02-27-2012 at 05:54 PM..
I know I don't want kids and I am tired of people hearing my clock ticking for me.
Or the people who act all offended when you tell them you don't want kids. They act as if you stabbed one of theirs.
I'm a geek also, it's not childish as I was still playing video games up until a year ago. I only stopped because it was a time sink and I decided to go back to school instead. I can't imagine working, school and taking care of kids, especially on my current salary. I know plenty of people who do it, but I don't think I could.
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I have stated many times that having my son was the best thing, without reservations, that I ever did in my life. NOTHING has brought me more joy than he has. 
