Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
From personal experience, I do think it is tougher for black women for sure.
People say it's tougher for black women but every black woman I know is in a LTR where they are living with their partner. Strangely, some people always assume I am either in a LTR or married--why would most people think that if black women are known to be single?
In other words, find an idiot to pay all her bills. And btw, the primary reason most Black women aren't into interracial dating is because most have almost nothing in common with most non-Black men because of cultural differences, likes, dislikes, preferences, etc. If two people have nothing or very little in common, it just won't work out (and most people know this).
Personally I don't find this true. I grew up in white suburbia in California and white suburbia in South Carolina. And for my entire life I have had no problems getting along with white people, asian people, black people, middle eastern people, latinos, whoever (unless there was some sort of language preference barrier).
Generally speaking we all had common interests. Maybe music interests didn't always crossover. Maybe we didn't share hair tips. But people are people, if our personalities mesh we can be friends. I always segmented my friends: friend A is great to go shopping with, friend b you go dancing with, friend c you go to the bar with, friend d you go out to dinner with and friend f you go to the game with. My friends now, we share some common interests and we all have interests everyone else is confused by, and we just share those with the other friends with the same interests.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stick2dascript
Little in common? Like what? If two people have a good job and have a active social life what's the difficult part? White men and asian women get along just fine, nothing is wrong with black women especially the educated ones. If anything hurts them it's negative stereotypes.
Agree on this one. People assume all black women are like XYZ, and frankly I don't even know any of those people. Not sure why it is so hard to believe that black women aren't individuals like everyone else.
People say it's tougher for black women but every black woman I know is in a LTR where they are living with their partner. Strangely, some people always assume I am either in a LTR or married--why would most people think that if black women are known to be single?
I think it also depends on where you live too. In my region, lots of single black women. (Lots of attached ones too) but there seem to be lots of us professional unattached ones around.
I think it also depends on where you live too. In my region, lots of single black women. (Lots of attached ones too) but there seem to be lots of us professional unattached ones around.
And that is with every racial group though. In one area you may have more single women than somewhere else. Black women are not monolithic. Also, when we talk about black women, are we specifically talking about African Americans or black women of all nationalities? Because in another culture, the marriage rates for black women might be completely different. We can't just paint all black women with a broad brush like that and claim that "nobody wants Black women".It's really unfair.
Personally I don't find this true. I grew up in white suburbia in California and white suburbia in South Carolina. And for my entire life I have had no problems getting along with white people, asian people, black people, middle eastern people, latinos, whoever (unless there was some sort of language preference barrier).
I grew up in an all white/Jewish upper middle class suburb on the east coast and attended predominately white schools, but I still don't have all that much in common with whites. Sure, I can mesh with anyone and get along with anyone perfectly fine, but it's usually not the same kind of meshing I'd have with someone of my own race who shares the same interests and preferences(everything from music to movies to vacation spots to having a preference for certain types of bars/clubs, certain types of women, etc ), so if I feel like I still don't have all that much in common with Whites, there's no way most Black women do.
Last edited by midatlantic12; 03-09-2012 at 03:41 PM..
Trust me, I probably know over 750 Black women and even educated Black women don't have all that much in common with most non-Black men; at least not enough to sustain a serious relationship. The only Black women who truly mesh well with non-Black men are the one's who basically grew up around whites, have mostly white friends, went to mostly white schools, and for the most part are 100% culturally white. Of course, you also have Black women who have been dogged many times by Black men, and as a result, they start dating White guys; and the Black women who are ashamed of being Black and therefore date non-Black men exclusively because they have a lot of self-hate.
Oh my favorite comment! If you are friends with white people, then you are a secretly a "white" black girl. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that. *rolls eyes*
Everyone has a list of key attributes that are important in a relationship. For some people shared culture is really important. For others it is shared religion or shared values. For other people it is just liking the same stuff. We aren't all the same, and just sharing the "same culture" isn't a guarantee you'll mesh with someone.
I personally find that I generally have more in common with anyone who grew up middle class in a semi religious household than some who didn't. Even if they happen to be of another ethnicity. I know I unintentionally have a class bias with friendships and relationships.
And that is with every racial group though. In one area you may have more single women than somewhere else. Black women are not monolithic. Also, when we talk about black women, are we specifically talking about African Americans or black women of all nationalities? Because in another culture, the marriage rates for black women might be completely different. We can't just paint all black women with a broad brush like that and claim that "nobody wants Black women".It's really unfair.
True, the stats never break things out. We aren't all the same. One thing is that black women tend to get married a little later than white women. By around age 35, the marriage rate is even.
Oh my favorite comment! If you are friends with white people, then you are a secretly a "white" black girl. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that. *rolls eyes*
I'm mainly referring to Black women who have mostly White friends and maybe a few Black friends. They're usually the one's who get along very well with White guys.
I grew up in an all white/Jewish upper middle class suburb on the east coast and attended predominately white schools, but I still don't have all that much in common with whites. Sure, I can mesh with anyone and get along with anyone perfectly fine, but it's usually not the same kind of meshing I'd have with someone of my own race who shares my same interests and preferences(everything from music to movies to vacation spots to having a preference for certain bars/clubs over others), so if I feel like I still don't have all that much in common with Whites, there's no way most Black women do.
I find there was really a few traits that defined whether someone could become a long term friend with me: a willingness to try new things, and thing about why the world works the way it does. So I ended up with a bunch of intellectually curious friends that like to try new things.
The values took precedence over the shared interests, because there is always another friend I can share that with.
I also think being in California (Bay Area) also makes a difference. The Bay is a very weird place, if you look at the hip hop scene you'll find everyone there. Everyone seems to like a lot of the same music, go to the same bars (especially where I live) so there is more of a common share culture across ethnic groups. I take it for granted it isn't like that everywhere. This also causes a different set of problems, and SoCal is very different than the Bay Area in this regard.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
