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My roommate who is also one of my very best friends recently met a guy on Twitter...I've never heard of using Twitter for dating, but she's had quite a few dates with guys she met this way. Anyway, recently (maybe a month ago) she met a guy on Twitter from PA. We're in CO. She has been texting and talking on the phone to this man non stop since they met, and he's flying out to Denver in a couple weeks to meet her. And he's staying at our place.
I'm concerned about someone neither of us has ever met staying at our house. I guess she feels she knows this man pretty well after talking and texting so much, but it's only been a few weeks. I've been on match and I would NEVER ever bring a man I had never met in person to our house for a first meeting or even a second or third usually. I realize people can turn psycho at any point and even a dozen dates doesn't guarantee anything, but I still feel uncomfortable with the situation. Am I overreacting?
My other concern is assuming he's a great guy and they hit it off - he doesn't live here. My friend has been through a divorce and in the two years we've been friends since her divorce I've never seen her so smitten over a guy. I'm worried she's asking for trouble even going down this path at all. This man says he wants to move to Colorado and wanted to move before he met my friend, but he has a child and moving doesn't always happen over night. And just because he wants to move doesn't mean he really will.
I don't want my friend to get hurt and I also don't want a strange man living in my house for a week. I've tried to express my concerns to her, but she's set on the path she's chosen no matter what. Any thoughts?
I'll buy her a ticket. She's welcome to fly to the crocodile's abode and toothpick his jaws. You know my hands aren't that long. She appears desperate and she'll take my offer. Is she good looking?
Ohhh...no, no, no. You need to put your foot down on this one and HARD.
It is one thing if she lived on her own, it's still foolish but it's her house, her life. It's an entirely different thing when she has a roommate. I definitely echo your concerns for safety.
If she is going to be hard nosed about this, I would STRONGLY suggest you visit a friend that week. If she wants to risk her own safety so be it, but there is no reason to risk yours.
I wouldn't dance around the subject though, tell her directly and clearly that you are very uncomfortable with this situation and you are disapointed that she isn't taking your concerns seriously.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,010,901 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
My roommate who is also one of my very best friends recently met a guy on Twitter...I've never heard of using Twitter for dating, but she's had quite a few dates with guys she met this way. Anyway, recently (maybe a month ago) she met a guy on Twitter from PA. We're in CO. She has been texting and talking on the phone to this man non stop since they met, and he's flying out to Denver in a couple weeks to meet her. And he's staying at our place.
I'm concerned about someone neither of us has ever met staying at our house. I guess she feels she knows this man pretty well after talking and texting so much, but it's only been a few weeks. I've been on match and I would NEVER ever bring a man I had never met in person to our house for a first meeting or even a second or third usually. I realize people can turn psycho at any point and even a dozen dates doesn't guarantee anything, but I still feel uncomfortable with the situation. Am I overreacting?
My other concern is assuming he's a great guy and they hit it off - he doesn't live here. My friend has been through a divorce and in the two years we've been friends since her divorce I've never seen her so smitten over a guy. I'm worried she's asking for trouble even going down this path at all. This man says he wants to move to Colorado and wanted to move before he met my friend, but he has a child and moving doesn't always happen over night. And just because he wants to move doesn't mean he really will.
I don't want my friend to get hurt and I also don't want a strange man living in my house for a week. I've tried to express my concerns to her, but she's set on the path she's chosen no matter what. Any thoughts?
You can't do anything about her getting hurt emotionally if that's the risk she wants to take, but her bringing a stranger into your home against your wishes is an absolute No! I would never allow it and being I paid half the expenses, I'd have the right to say so. He can stay somewhere else and she can stay with him if that's her choice. It's just plain stupidity to bring strangers into your home these days.
I would not let a stranger stay in my home, to be honest. You're right — some of the sanest people can totally get weird on the turn of a dime. It always pays to be cautious.
I would tell your roommate that he'll have to find an extended-stay hotel to stay at. If he cannot afford that or doesn't have anyone to stay with in Denver, she might want to think twice about this man.
My roommate who is also one of my very best friends recently met a guy on Twitter...I've never heard of using Twitter for dating, but she's had quite a few dates with guys she met this way. Anyway, recently (maybe a month ago) she met a guy on Twitter from PA. We're in CO. She has been texting and talking on the phone to this man non stop since they met, and he's flying out to Denver in a couple weeks to meet her. And he's staying at our place.
I'm concerned about someone neither of us has ever met staying at our house. I guess she feels she knows this man pretty well after talking and texting so much, but it's only been a few weeks. I've been on match and I would NEVER ever bring a man I had never met in person to our house for a first meeting or even a second or third usually. I realize people can turn psycho at any point and even a dozen dates doesn't guarantee anything, but I still feel uncomfortable with the situation. Am I overreacting?
My other concern is assuming he's a great guy and they hit it off - he doesn't live here. My friend has been through a divorce and in the two years we've been friends since her divorce I've never seen her so smitten over a guy. I'm worried she's asking for trouble even going down this path at all. This man says he wants to move to Colorado and wanted to move before he met my friend, but he has a child and moving doesn't always happen over night. And just because he wants to move doesn't mean he really will.
I don't want my friend to get hurt and I also don't want a strange man living in my house for a week. I've tried to express my concerns to her, but she's set on the path she's chosen no matter what. Any thoughts?
It all sounds a little scary to me. He should be a gentleman and get a hotel first of all!
Secondly, your poor friend is not likely to listen to any type of reason or common sense while in this "smitten" and twitterpated state.
However, she is a grown up, so if she does not tread cautiously, there's zip you can do about it.
But DO understand your home is not a cheap motel, and don't let it be treated as such while this stranger is staying there.
If you absolutely cannot convince her to have him stay at a hotel, lock your bedroom door and leave for the time that he is there. Let her know that she has 30 days to find her own place. If she refuses to leave, find a place of your own within 30 days. Who wants a roommmate who brings strange men into the house?
If you absolutely cannot convince her to have him stay at a hotel, lock your bedroom door and leave for the time that he is there. Let her know that she has 30 days to find her own place. If she refuses to leave, find a place of your own within 30 days. Who wants a roommmate who brings strange men into the house?
Yeah you're right. And guess what? I don't even have a lock on my door! It's her house meaning she owns it and I just pay her rent living there, so I would have to be the one who leaves. I love her dearly, but I admit I feel really disrespected by her that she would bring this man to the place where we both live without even asking how I felt about it first.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,010,901 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Yeah you're right. And guess what? I don't even have a lock on my door! It's her house meaning she owns it and I just pay her rent living there, so I would have to be the one who leaves. I love her dearly, but I admit I feel really disrespected by her that she would bring this man to the place where we both live without even asking how I felt about it first.
Yikes. That's a different story then. Yeah. All you can do is leave, yourself. And I most definitely would.
I can't believe I've never even thought to use Twitter this way.
While we're on this subject, let's brainstorm some other sites that ostensibly aren't for dating/hooking up but could be used that way.
Here are the sites I've used to hook up, dating back to when I was 16. I know AOL was technically an online service rather than a site, but I'm including it since it was THE way to get laid online in the 90's:
Also, I hooked up with a random Words With Friends opponent a few months ago.
Still looking to conquer:
Google+
Twitter
Pinterest
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