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I am 5'5" and 20 lbs overweight- I know its an issue with women, but I never believed in making height the thing that prevents me from meeting women, otherwise I might as well throw in the towel now cause I can't change it. Plus I see other short guys with cute girls. I'm healthy in all other respects, and I'm not covered in bodyhair or anything, yet like you said, I see dirtbags walking around with these amazing girls. One guy I know is such a loser- no job, no effort to get one, lives in her house, and is decent looking but a complete bum. He treats her terribly. She is beautiful- 5'3", a brunette with light blue eyes, sweetest disposition, totally family oriented (big one for me). She goes for these dirtbag guys and always says how hot The Situation is (mind you, she's in her early 30's, not some 22 yr old). I can't understand it. No one is a bigger jackass than that guy, but he has a six pack and is clearly confident (about what I have no idea).
I'm not going to fight the system, it is what it is. I have to play within it, and I never pretend to be someone I am not. Me pretending to be someone like the Situation would be laughable and so out of character for me anyway!
There are alot of women out there that just go for douchebags & why I don't know. I can think of a few stories just like the one you said. I also totally agree with you to NOT pretend somebody you're not. Confidence and fake are two different things. Women can spot a phony a mile away. Women do like confidence though. Weightlifting did do wonders for my confidence. I was a short, timid, 130 some lb kid in high school, but as I got bigger in my late 20's so did my confidence. The height thing I can't change, and I have to agree with a previous poster, although many women won't admit to it, it does matter. I think unless the guy is a total midget then it shouldn't, but what I think and what the current situation is are two different things. One of my ex's was almost 5'10 in heels and it didn't bother me, I have no problem dating a taller girl. It's the females with the problem
I am certain that this is part of it, that's why I came clean right in my OP to say that I'm not very tall. I'm short, and I do know that this is a significant factor. That being said, I also know guys as short or shorter than me with nice wives and girlfriends. So, I accept that it is a factor, is there some better way to overcome it?
In the past, people have told me to forget online dating due to my height. Women have in their minds a perfect height, and usually don't stray from that (typically 5'10" or taller). Seeing 5'5" in a profile immediately puts it in the rejection bin. But in person, no one is measuring you, and your other characteristics can come through stronger. I don't want to turn this into a height debate, since there are too many on here already and debating it is not going to change the reality. Men also judge women on weight, so it works both ways, and its not fair but its reality.
I focus on women between 4'10" and 5'3", so that limits me. And I only write to women online who state that they want a guy within my height range. Still, I am aware that when its me vs. the 5'10" guy, I have a disadvantage.
I don't understand the height issue. I personally want someone who is at least my height when I'm in heels so that means someone at least 5'7". Not only that, I see short men with girlfriends all the time. In fact I know a guy who is your height and he's incredibly funny and has such a great personality so of course he always has a gf. In high school, I knew a guy that was 5'7 ish and also always had a gf, and girls around 2 years older than him (big deal in high school). He had a great personality and was very charming and respectful so no wonder. I think regardless of looks, men need to work on personality anyways because we don't care as much about looks as we do about meeting someone we have a good time with. Your height might be an issue if you were shorter than 5'4 but then just date really short women.
let me esplain u
it took 8 years for me to learn this.
it was taught to me by a cat named kitty witty
come into the house take off your shoes sit in an easy chair and cross your legs.
talk slow and in low tones.
have some kitty treats handy.
the cat will come up to you let u pet it and ask for treats and rub against your feet.
if you come into the house pace nervously talking fast high pitched and with shoes on
the cat will immediately hide.
women are the same
trust me when kitty witty taught me this ---things got better with women
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 03-27-2012 at 01:12 PM..
I go to the gym often and thankfully I'm not scrawny. Buffness isn't the issue- I wish it was Losing 20 lbs will help, I'm sure.
Want to lose 20 - how are your knees? Fastest way - hit the treadmill, run a slow lap, then run a fast one, then switch the intensity - on,off. Start slow, build up to 20 minutes - 3x a week. Lay off the cheese, fries and hot dogs and white bread,pizza and bagels - off come the pounds.
I don't understand the height issue. I personally want someone who is at least my height when I'm in heels so that means someone at least 5'7". Not only that, I see short men with girlfriends all the time. In fact I know a guy who is your height and he's incredibly funny and has such a great personality so of course he always has a gf. In high school, I knew a guy that was 5'7 ish and also always had a gf, and girls around 2 years older than him (big deal in high school). He had a great personality and was very charming and respectful so no wonder. I think regardless of looks, men need to work on personality anyways because we don't care as much about looks as we do about meeting someone we have a good time with. Your height might be an issue if you were shorter than 5'4 but then just date really short women.
You do bring up a good point. I'm 5'4 so just make the cut-off. Personallity does mean alot. I have read that it has been proven scientifically and actually have seen it in real life that women aren't as concerned with looks as men are. Whether you're 6'4 or 5'4 if you have a sh*tty personality you're going to drive people away. Honestly, I don't think about my height, I like it in the gym because I'm at an advantage. I have seen guys with the short man's complex though, I can see how that too pushes people away
There are alot of women out there that just go for douchebags & why I don't know. I can think of a few stories just like the one you said. I also totally agree with you to NOT pretend somebody you're not. Confidence and fake are two different things. Women can spot a phony a mile away. Women do like confidence though. Weightlifting did do wonders for my confidence. I was a short, timid, 130 some lb kid in high school, but as I got bigger in my late 20's so did my confidence. The height thing I can't change, and I have to agree with a previous poster, although many women won't admit to it, it does matter. I think unless the guy is a total midget then it shouldn't, but what I think and what the current situation is are two different things. One of my ex's was almost 5'10 in heels and it didn't bother me, I have no problem dating a taller girl. It's the females with the problem
funny part is usually these girls that end up with douche bags will probably get divorced from them 5-10 years down the road when guy cheats on them or is simply too big of an ******* to deal with. Just be urself ... if a girl doesnt like u for the real you then why would u want to fake an act to be with her?
I am certain that this is part of it, that's why I came clean right in my OP to say that I'm not very tall. I'm short, and I do know that this is a significant factor. That being said, I also know guys as short or shorter than me with nice wives and girlfriends. So, I accept that it is a factor, is there some better way to overcome it?
In the past, people have told me to forget online dating due to my height. Women have in their minds a perfect height, and usually don't stray from that (typically 5'10" or taller). Seeing 5'5" in a profile immediately puts it in the rejection bin. But in person, no one is measuring you, and your other characteristics can come through stronger. I don't want to turn this into a height debate, since there are too many on here already and debating it is not going to change the reality. Men also judge women on weight, so it works both ways, and its not fair but its reality.
I focus on women between 4'10" and 5'3", so that limits me. And I only write to women online who state that they want a guy within my height range. Still, I am aware that when its me vs. the 5'10" guy, I have a disadvantage.
Sweetie, you have to stop focusing on that. Would you believe my husband and I saw a commercial for shoe inserts that make people a few inches taller? I can't being to explain how many things are wrong with that concept. So when a man or woman takes off their shoes, they suddenly shrink 2-3 inches.
Forget about not attracting taller women. I'll tell you why: Sonny and Cher, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Ethan Hawk and Uma Thurman, Brigitte Nielsen and whoever she dates lol...see what I'm getting at? Yes, I would have liked a guy that's at least 5'10 but my husband is the same height as I am. We're 5'7 but when I wear heels I'm about 5'9-5'10. He and I are ok with it.
You do bring up a good point. I'm 5'4 so just make the cut-off. Personallity does mean alot. I have read that it has been proven scientifically and actually have seen it in real life that women aren't as concerned with looks as men are. Whether you're 6'4 or 5'4 if you have a sh*tty personality you're going to drive people away. Honestly, I don't think about my height, I like it in the gym because I'm at an advantage. I have seen guys with the short man's complex though, I can see how that too pushes people away
Seriously..I have no problem attracting very good looking men but they have tended to be some of the worst people..not all but most. I don't stick around to enable their mentality that they can be aholes due to their good looks. It usually angers them, which is funny. I could care less. the only man I ever loved was somewhat unattractive so clearly I don't care but he was physically attractive where I cared (light skin, not too much body hair and clean shaven, so that helped). So looks matter to a degree but personality seals the deal.
Sweetie, you have to stop focusing on that. Would you believe my husband and I saw a commercial for shoe inserts that make people a few inches taller? I can't being to explain how many things are wrong with that concept. So when a man or woman takes off their shoes, they suddenly shrink 2-3 inches.
Forget about not attracting taller women. I'll tell you why: Sonny and Cher, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Ethan Hawk and Uma Thurman, Brigitte Nielsen and whoever she dates lol...see what I'm getting at? Yes, I would have liked a guy that's at least 5'10 but my husband is the same height as I am. We're 5'7 but when I wear heels I'm about 5'9-5'10. He and I are ok with it.
I'm not at all focused on height, some people on here brought it up, and I thought I should mention what my height is. Only because its part of who I am. Personally, I'm not attracted to women much taller than 5'5". Call it social engineering and maybe I'm programmed that way. Certainly there are tons of women 5'6", 5"9' who are breathtakingly gorgeous, but I'm personally attracted to the short ones. I guess I feel uncomfortable looking up at a girl! If asked the absolute perfect height of a woman to me, it would be 5'1", but I'm not that picky, believe me.
Trust me when I tell you I don't see height as an issue, nor do I walk around the gym like some short, tough guy with a Napoleon complex (I see those guys there all the time, and its annoyingly artificial and I can see women hating that).
funny part is usually these girls that end up with douche bags will probably get divorced from them 5-10 years down the road when guy cheats on them or is simply too big of an ******* to deal with. Just be urself ... if a girl doesnt like u for the real you then why would u want to fake an act to be with her?
That, or be saddled with kids and trapped in the marriage because they've been so beaten down.
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Losing 20 lbs will help, I'm sure.
