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yes I've talked about previous boyfriends but that's the thing, they didn't keep me.
No doubt, that hurts.
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that rejection hurts more than the initial dating process not working out.
Better to have loved and lost......than to have never loved at all.
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and sure I've rejected guys before, but I've also been dumped by all the men I've liked so its not like I don't know rejection. I don't believe anyone who tells me they have never rejected anyone.
Believe it. It is certainly possible.
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I'm sure the OP has had to reject at least one girl in his life. so its not like he's the only one being rejected. Either way, if he just doesn't want a relationship, that's one thing but to try to condition himself into something he isn't wired for like being alone and without love, is just absurd to me.
Agreed.
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Taking a break from it, I get that, but trying to permanently be without it when from what I get, he wants love? crazy. so I agree with Dewdrop on this one.
When I was in college, I resolved, similarly to the OP, that I would just stop caring and not give a damn and not try to even feel bad because I had nobody and no prospects. I resolved to try to kill my desire for love and sex with a woman.
That lasted about a week. A normal human being can't go without companionship (emotional and sexual). You do crave it. It's a certainty.
Better to have loved and lost......than to have never loved at all.
yep! exactly. I didn't say I had regrets. just that its happened to me too
Believe it. It is certainly possible.
hmm..never heard of it. Even horribly ugly people reject someone!
Agreed.
When I was in college, I resolved, similarly to the OP, that I would just stop caring and not give a damn and not try to even feel bad because I had nobody and no prospects. I resolved to try to kill my desire for love and sex with a woman.
That lasted about a week. A normal human being can't go without companionship (emotional and sexual). You do crave it. It's a certainty.
see? Most of us are not wired to be alone and without love. I know it's probably a little easier for me being a woman cause I can "give up" and still possibly get asked out, but still. Men can give up too and meet a girl all of a sudden that they just HAVE to take a chance on. things happen..I'm not one to stop it, that's like going against living.
So far my new habit breaking has gone well, I've been so busy with a lot of new things in my life that dating hasn't been on the brain too much. My goal of breaking my desire to want to date 100% completely is going to be a work in progress but I just have to maintain self control.
That being said, I almost asked a girl last night to have a drink with me or even thought about throwing her my business card (that has my personal cell number on it) and telling her to give me a holler sometime. I did stop myself, but the initial desire to make a move was still there. I will no longer make effort or first moves. If a girl were to ask me out or something I'd be totally game, but let's be realistic: that almost never happens.
Anyway, just keeping you all up to date since someone requested I keep updating my situation. Best of luck to those who are pursuing or trying to improve their relationships!
For all the people on this board who are constantly saying that people are not meant to be alone, why does it scare you so much to think that some people are not built for intimate relationships? Seriously.
If a person wants to give for good they should just give up. They've been rejected by everyone so why try to make them suffer more than they already have.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
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Originally Posted by Lucario
When I was in college, I resolved, similarly to the OP, that I would just stop caring and not give a damn and not try to even feel bad because I had nobody and no prospects. I resolved to try to kill my desire for love and sex with a woman.
That lasted about a week. A normal human being can't go without companionship (emotional and sexual). You do crave it. It's a certainty.
I am not a normal human being. I can be very stubborn and hold out for a long time.
If a person wants to give for good they should just give up. They've been rejected by everyone so why try to make them suffer more than they already have.
Ok, but this doesn't apply to the OP. He's had GF's before, I think, and clearly he wants someone, but is scared due to past experiences. Understandable, but I'm with Lucario, I don't think this will last all that long. Months, perhaps, but not years. I might believe it if the OP was a serious introvert, hermit type, but since he's not, he's going to run into women and there will be one that breaks him down.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
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Originally Posted by Broncos Quarterback
Ok, but this doesn't apply to the OP. He's had GF's before, I think, and clearly he wants someone, but is scared due to past experiences. Understandable, but I'm with Lucario, I don't think this will last all that long. Months, perhaps, but not years. I might believe it if the OP was a serious introvert, hermit type, but since he's not, he's going to run into women and there will be one that breaks him down.
Nothing in life is certain, so I guess the solution is to stop living.
I'm living my life fully even more now that I stopped pursuing women. I've accomplished and begun doing so much more since my last breakup.
I don't understand your point.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
That's exactly what I was thinking!
Not everything comes with a lifetime warranty!
Well according to your description of the maze, you made it sound like the gold in the middle was the end and once you reached it you were in the clear.
My point is that you're never in the clear, there's no real attainable point to reach. You'll always be at risk of being crushed. If you take my approach you cannot be burned. That much I know for certain.
For all the people on this board who are constantly saying that people are not meant to be alone, why does it scare you so much to think that some people are not built for intimate relationships? Seriously.
If a person wants to give for good they should just give up. They've been rejected by everyone so why try to make them suffer more than they already have.
LOL. people who are not meant for relationships are one thing. but the OP is obviously not that person.
LOL. people who are not meant for relationships are one thing. but the OP is obviously not that person.
My guess is, that the only reason the OP isnt this type of person, is the fact that as a heterosexual male, you simply cannot get away from your sexuality and urges. Its a natural instinct that is responsible for survival of our species. Most guys in this situation simply wish they were born gay and spared from living in limbo.
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