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I have never been in a position to reject any women for relationships, if only b/c no women have ever been receptive to any with me, at least before I was already about 31 anyway. The only time I had to politely decline romantic overtures was when 2 girls offered me no-strings physical intimacy (but minus the relationship component). I basically responded to them by saying "Thanks, but I'm sorry that is not exactly what I am looking for."
Usually if she is sweet, and she likes me, but I don't find her attractive -- then it is really difficult. I feel shallow and guilty.
If she's not sweet, then it's not difficult, ever. My tolerance for harsh or abrasive women is very low, and I just want them to go away.
Agree. I worked with a woman who, if she were a man, would've been arrested for harassment. After all the attempted hugs-with-a-kiss-on-the-cheek I told her in no uncertain terms to stop doing that that it was very inappropriate at work. It had the side benefit of making her stay away from me completely and only communicate via email.
My first rejection was 7th grade. I had such a crush on him, but was afraid he liked another girl more. He would always talk to me and be nice. Finally one day he came to my locker (I cannot believe I still remember this!) and told me so nicely that he knew I had feelings for him but that he was going to ask out the other girl and he wanted me to know first.
He was such a gentleman (at that young age). I just said, you and I are just friends and that's great about the other girl. He just smiled and told me yes, he and I were friends and that's why he wanted me to know first. He was such a class act!
(They went on to marry and had two children and were together until he had an early fatal heart attack).
Usually if she is sweet, and she likes me, but I don't find her attractive -- then it is really difficult. I feel shallow and guilty.
Do you try to keep her around as a friend?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle
My first rejection was 7th grade. I had such a crush on him, but was afraid he liked another girl more. He would always talk to me and be nice. Finally one day he came to my locker (I cannot believe I still remember this!) and told me so nicely that he knew I had feelings for him but that he was going to ask out the other girl and he wanted me to know first.
He was such a gentleman (at that young age). I just said, you and I are just friends and that's great about the other girl. He just smiled and told me yes, he and I were friends and that's why he wanted me to know first. He was such a class act!
(They went on to marry and had two children and were together until he had an early fatal heart attack).
Yes, I've rejected a few women, but it was bit tough to do so I must say. It can be quite painful and raw, so it's a hard thing to bring oneself to do to another person, but it's better than leading them on and hurting them more down the road if you know it's just not going to work.
Yes, I've rejected a few women, but it was bit tough to do so I must say. It can be quite painful and raw, so it's a hard thing to bring oneself to do to another person, but it's better than leading them on and hurting them more down the road if you know it's just not going to work.
It is tough. I think all people have been rejected one time or another. That time-stands-still feeling of trying to just say "oh, OK" and get away because of the awkwardness reminds us of how the other person feels. Better not to lead her on. It's easy-too easy to say "what the heck I may GET to be attracted/Fall in love/Run off to Mexico with her and such.
Unfortunately, I've had to reject many women, ranging from a dating site "Thanks, but I don't think we're a match" to turning down offers of sex in person. I've been rejected many times myself, and it's never a good feeling, so I try to do any rejecting as kindly as possible - but directly to be clear.
It's gotten pretty easy to do, but I still feel empathy for them, having been there all too often myself. It does get harder if it becomes necessary after dating or being in a relationship for several months or more.
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